How Do You Handle the Lonliness?

[Elise]

Hi everyone,


I'm new here. My daughter is already in college, but my son will start college in a few weeks. I am a single mom, and I don't know how I am going to handle the house being completely empty in a few weeks.


I've set up a couple of "girls nights" with a few friends, but I know the loneliness is going to hit hard. It's going to be so odd coming home from work each day to an empty, quiet house.


How did/do you all deal with the loneliness that comes when your children go off to college?

[MaryB]

Hi Elsie, and welcome to the forum.   You are starting on the right foot, planning girls nites.  That is what you have to do is have something to look forward to.  From people that I've talked to, once they get use to being without the children right there, they like it. When the children come home it is good for a visit too.

[Elizabeth]

As Mary said, you are stating out on the right foot by setting up 'events' to come. Just try to keep yourself busy and know that it is normal to feel that loneliness from time to time, just don't let it consume you!

[Elise]

Thank you for the advice! I'm brainstorming some new hobbies to get into since I'll actually have some free time on my hands. I know it will definitely be an adjustment.

[girlchild34]

Hi Elsie, welcome to the forum. Unlike some of us, you have actually placed yourself on the right path by having a couple of nights out with your girls. We spent a few weeks trying to wonder what to do next until we found good activities to immerse ourselves in. It was just a matter of time before we had gotten used to the 'loneliness'.

[Cheers]

Hi Elise, you can probably join some interest groups or classes so that you can make more new friends! Though for me, as a rather quiet person, I find reading the best for me. It depends on the person. I hope you will find your hobbies!

[SadMommy]

Sorry, I see this is an old post, but I find myself having to constantly have a podcast or an audiobook playing.  I even turn on the tv about an hour earlier at night. Otherwise I am to alone with my thoughts.

[adanna]

I’m thinking it might be a good idea to let your son know and if it’s possible, phone calls is an option. Of course I’m not saying you should call your son all the time but I think it’s totally fine to call more especially at this beginning stage. Otherwise, you might want to try to get yourself busy with people and different things around you.

[Elise]

Thank you for the suggestions! I am an introvert myself, but I do get lonely spending all my evenings/nights and weekends alone. I'll try to look around for some groups to join. I love to read so maybe there's a local book club I could check out.

[girlchild34]

Hi Elise, you can probably join some interest groups or classes so that you can make more new friends! Though for me, as a rather quiet person, I find reading the best for me. It depends on the person. I hope you will find your hobbies!

I am not the quietest person out there, but immersing myself in books helps to occupy the mind. I set monthly targets and have a list of books to read. Interest groups will suit the people who find mingling easy and fun.