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Author Topic: Intimacy  (Read 1411 times)

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Offline MomOf2Rugrats

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Intimacy
« on: April 24, 2017, 12:05:59 PM »
Not sure what is going on? He says he wants sex. But, never initiates it. A comment he made several weeks ago has kinda shut me off. He thinks our sex life is routine. But, he doesn't do anything to change it. I have offered new things twice. It just feels like he expects me to change it. I have zero sex drive, but will at least try. But, it gets old being the only one that tries or initiates. I don't feel pursued at all. I also get kind of confused sometimes. Because he tries to "father" me a lot & that is so annoying. Just not sure what to do about that one. I hope that we both stay healthy for a very long time. But, I would still have to live my life & he would not be there to "protect" me. I can't drive here or I can't drive there. Yeah, I totally get that he's trying to protect me. But, I also feel that he is doing me a huge disfavor by not letting me live? I know that he loves me. But, I question myself if he's "happy". I go to bed most nights & I feel bad. Like I'm not enough or I've done something wrong or wondering if he's happy with me? Not sure what to do or where to even start!
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Offline MaryB

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Re: Intimacy
« Reply #1 on: April 24, 2017, 05:09:58 PM »
I can feel your frustration in your writing and I feel so bad.  Are you perhaps wanting love and thinking it is thru sex?  You dont really want sex, but you want to feel like he still wants you (dont all women?)  I think you are not feeling loved. 
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Re: Intimacy
« Reply #1 on: April 24, 2017, 05:09:58 PM »

Offline MomOf2Rugrats

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Re: Intimacy
« Reply #2 on: April 24, 2017, 09:58:28 PM »

Well, I'm not really sure? I just get frustrated because he wants change. But, won't take any steps to change the situation HE wants to be different. And, I go to bed feeling bad? Like it's 100% up to me to change the situation. He says he wants sex all of the time. But, will never initiate it. Just doesn't make any sense. Very confusing!



Quote from: MaryB on April 24, 2017, 05:09:58 PM
I can feel your frustration in your writing and I feel so bad.  Are you perhaps wanting love and thinking it is thru sex?  You dont really want sex, but you want to feel like he still wants you (dont all women?)  I think you are not feeling loved.
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Offline GrownChildMother

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Re: Intimacy
« Reply #3 on: April 25, 2017, 01:43:02 AM »
I'm so sorry you're going through this, Momof2. It kind of sounds to me like he may have some insecurities too. Could he be having problems with being able to perform like he did when he was younger? Maybe he has a fear that you will leave him. This might be something that could be sorted out through marriage counseling.
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Empty Nest Moms

Re: Intimacy
« Reply #3 on: April 25, 2017, 01:43:02 AM »

Offline MomOf2Rugrats

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Re: Intimacy
« Reply #4 on: April 25, 2017, 08:07:13 AM »
Thank you! No problems "performing". Just hardly ever touches me in bed. I was thinking counseling also. But, hate going thru the process of finding the right one. The person I want has a 2 month waiting list. But, I guess might as well get on it right? I'm definitely not leaving! I love him very much!


Quote from: GrownChildMother on April 25, 2017, 01:43:02 AM
I'm so sorry you're going through this, Momof2. It kind of sounds to me like he may have some insecurities too. Could he be having problems with being able to perform like he did when he was younger? Maybe he has a fear that you will leave him. This might be something that could be sorted out through marriage counseling.
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Offline MaryB

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Re: Intimacy
« Reply #5 on: April 25, 2017, 08:17:04 AM »
I said it somewhere before, but think it needs repeating here.. marriages ebb and flow over the years.   You two love each other and will work thru this too.  Your man loves you, and doesnt want to hurt you.  This will pass.  Just hug each other in bed and nature will take over, and in the meantime, his holding you will make you feel better. 
I hope that helps.. 
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Empty Nest Moms

Re: Intimacy
« Reply #5 on: April 25, 2017, 08:17:04 AM »
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