Stubborn Old Woman

[Primrose]

My mom is at that point in her life where her short term memory is not good, her balance is not good and her hearing is almost gone.
Soon we will have to make some arrangements for her care.  However, this is one stubborn old woman with a hot temper.  I'm not looking forward to the day we have to do something. I love her dearly but she can be a handful. 

[MaryB]

I am so sorry to hear this, Primrose.  I sure dont envy you.  Your poor mom must feel like she is losing her independence and that adds to her disposition.  The first thing they will do if she is put in an assisted living or other, is give her a mild nerve pill.  This is as much for her and everyone that cares for her.  If she would cooperate now and take one, it sure would help but usually they wont.   My heart is with you dear.

[Moussa]

My mom is at that point in her life where her short term memory is not good, her balance is not good and her hearing is almost gone.
Soon we will have to make some arrangements for her care.  However, this is one stubborn old woman with a hot temper.  I'm not looking forward to the day we have to do something. I love her dearly but she can be a handful.

Hello Primrose.


I totally hear you on this, and would like to recommend you try what worked for me with my mother, who has a similar nature to yours from the sound of things. Basically I manipulated the situation so she thought getting some help in now, before she reached crisis point, was actually her idea. It's worked really well, and mom gets on well with her 'companion'. By providing a little support early it seems like we have managed to slow her decline into full dependency.

[Primrose]

Thanks Moussa.  I had thought of that and it may be the way to go.  She's still pretty independent.  I'm  just trying to plan ahead for when the time comes.  I'm not sure a companion would work for her but assisted living would.  It's something to think about.

[mamyk]

It won't be easy but it will be better for your mother.  Maybe all you will need is the companion for now.  I don't think it's easy for any of us to have to put a parent in a home.  What if you visit some of the homes so that she can see what it is like?

[Kimberly]

I remember when my aunt turned 90 she could not hear properly and neither could she recognize faces. We had to spend time with her to explain what was happening and why we were doing something in terms of arrangements that were being made for her.

[Allie]

Sometimes what we deem as stubbornness is just a last ditch attempt to hold on to their independence. I know with my mother it was hard because there were so many things she wanted to insist on doing for herself that she was no longer able to do. Today I would do anything to fight with her over those things again.