Empty Nest Moms

Empty Nest "Our Everyday Lives" => Every Day Conversations => Topic started by: MaryB on November 03, 2017, 07:32:19 PM

Title: Estranged son returned after 8 years!
Post by: MaryB on November 03, 2017, 07:32:19 PM
My son is here as I type.  He is out there watching a movie with his dad.  He drove all nite and day, some 1300 miles and is here.  He has been estranged for 8 years now.   He started calling before the hurricane Irma and is here now!   He thought and we had hoped he would stay but his girlfriend up north wont leave him alone and is begging him to return.  I wish she'd go away.  :(    Boy what a joy though.  He looks like a young version of his dad..  I cant get over it.  I am so  so happy that he has returned.  Some estranged kids never do..  I praise God and give Him all the Glory for it too...   
Title: Re: Estranged son returned after 8 years!
Post by: Jeanine on November 04, 2017, 07:51:46 AM
Oh Mary, soooo happy for you!! Did you know that he was coming down to see you? Not sure just what made him 'wake up' after all these years but he did! Is there a chance that he will stay with you in Fl.? I sure hope so but with the outside chance that he goes back with his wife maybe now that he has reconnected with y'all he will keep it that way? Let's hope he stays but sounds like a divorce could be messy. Let's hope for the best. I know you are over the moon happy right now to see him.


 :big hug smiley sign: :grouphugsign:
Title: Re: Estranged son returned after 8 years!
Post by: JustUs2 on November 06, 2017, 07:18:26 PM
I'm so happy for you, Mary! Hopefully everything works out. I know how much you've missed him! Bet you all are  having a blast right now.  :cute group hug:


Title: Re: Estranged son returned after 8 years!
Post by: MaryB on November 07, 2017, 09:20:27 AM
He only got in touch with us because he left his wife, but they are not divorced.  We did not know he was coming till the day he said he was driving down.  He quit his job and packed his truck and drove straight thru.  He put in change of address and put in applications here, but his 'girl friend' wont leave him alone and is promising the moon the stars and the sun if he goes back, so we're holding our breath here.  I'm sick over it.  I just do not understand life.  That is a hell hole he came out of and we're offering to help him get set up again and actually have something again.  He gave up everything for that one he married, now if he goes back he'll be giving up everything again...   :dunno:
Title: Re: Estranged son returned after 8 years!
Post by: nvgt16 on November 07, 2017, 03:38:36 PM
Mary, that is such AWESOME NEWS!!!! I'm so excited for you!!!! :banana:  I hope he stays a very, very long time because I know what it feels like to see our sons back after such a long time of not seeing or hearing from them!!! I'm sure that you are taking it all in as you should!! Enjoy!!!

Title: Re: Estranged son returned after 8 years!
Post by: MaryB on November 08, 2017, 08:58:41 AM
Thank you so much!  I will tell you this though,  sometimes it's not all roses!   :dunno:
He has a job interview this morning but the whole while is talking to a woman back there so it's hard to say if he will stay...  she is pulling at him all the time. 
Title: Re: Estranged son returned after 8 years!
Post by: nvgt16 on November 08, 2017, 05:29:44 PM
It's definitely not all roses! I wish my kids lived so much closer but if they did now, I wouldn't be moving to a better place for me!
Well, I'm hoping that if you son is interviewing close to your home, his plans are to stay nearby! I hope so, it's so hard when our kids stop communicating...it's honestly devastating...and then somehow they come back! Well, I'm planning on leaving around 3am this Friday for FLORIDA!! I can't wait until we can all get together!!!
Title: Re: Estranged son returned after 8 years!
Post by: JustUs2 on November 08, 2017, 11:33:31 PM
Thank you so much!  I will tell you this though,  sometimes it's not all roses!   :dunno:
He has a job interview this morning but the whole while is talking to a woman back there so it's hard to say if he will stay...  she is pulling at him all the time.
I know this isn't the same, but sometimes my husband and I feel like we're competing with the in-laws who are wealthy.  They complain to our daughter-in-law that we should be "doing more" because we only have one kid. It's true that they have more children, but they leave out the inherited wealth part. We put our son through state school and bought his car because that's what we could afford. But no, we can't help with the mortgage and we've not been a help to their adult/married finances like the in-laws have.  It's terrible to feel that someone else has that pull over our children.
Title: Re: Estranged son returned after 8 years!
Post by: nvgt16 on November 09, 2017, 05:06:30 AM
I haven't been able to help my adult kids financially very much especially with one income and a heavy mortgage but that will be changing once my house is closed on. My daughter's future in laws get to see my daughter much more often than I do seeing that they live in Spain too but I'm very thankful that they are wonderful to my daughter and to me when I visited my daughter  and fiance this past Spring. Right now I need to focus on my life's change which is happening in less than 24 hours!?
Title: Re: Estranged son returned after 8 years!
Post by: MaryB on November 09, 2017, 04:21:46 PM
JustUs2,  my son said when he told his wife he contacted us she went ballistic, and he said he 'wanted' to tell her we're his f'in parents and he'll talk to us if he wants.   I though that's what he 'SHOULD' have told her all along.  He is assuring us that if he goes back he wont lose contact but we'll see.  He told me today that he is probably going back. 


nvgt16, I know what you mean.  We are burning up the charge card right now to provide for our son.  If he'd stay it would be worth it but for him to go back it is all for nothing. 
Title: Re: Estranged son returned after 8 years!
Post by: Elizabeth on November 12, 2017, 07:01:02 PM
Maryb it's so nice to hear your son came back into your life!  :cutecheerleader:  I know it's been a few days since your last post here, just curious, is he still with you? I hope he decides to stay but let's hope IF he does go back that he sticks to his word and stays in contact with you. Sounds like he realizes what he has been missing out on all these years! Best to you......


 :grouphugsign: :big hug smiley sign:
Title: Re: Estranged son returned after 8 years!
Post by: MaryB on November 13, 2017, 05:30:45 PM
Thank you Elizabeth!  Yes he is still here but told us tonight he cannot live without the girlfriend so he is going back.  He told us the same thing about his wife, which by the way he still has..  so nothing we can do.  We did all we can to get him on his feet here, including he got a job but was to start it the 27th.. meanwhile the girlfriend never stopped calling and texting him..  well he will have a hard life but it's what he is choosing.  I hope, like you said, that he will stay in touch.
 :cute group hug:
Title: Re: Estranged son returned after 8 years!
Post by: JustUs2 on November 21, 2017, 11:40:28 PM
I just saw your update, MaryB.  You have got to be one of the nicest and friendliest people I've come across online.  I hope everything works out for you.  You deserve some peace!  Will he be there for Thanksgiving?  I bet you're thrilled to your toes if so.
Title: Re: Estranged son returned after 8 years!
Post by: MaryB on November 22, 2017, 07:04:15 AM
Awww JustUs2,  I think that about you!   :cute group hug:   This forum is just full of the nicest, sweetest people!
No we tried everything we could but the girl would not leave him be.  To me it was selfish that she could not leave him here to at least have holidays with us.  It would have been the first time in years and years.  I had even started buying his favorites.   :dunno:
Talked to a young friend last nite that told me he went down this road too (this is the second woman my son thinks he cannot live without, and giving up everything for her), that there's nothing I can say, being the mom, that he would listen to. 
I have seen abusive parents neglect their kids, and yet their children never abandon them, but this child of mine seems to think his parents dont have feelings or something. 
So he's gone again but at least he is talking/texting.  That much I'm thankful for!
 :big hug smiley sign:
Title: Re: Estranged son returned after 8 years!
Post by: cherie on November 22, 2017, 03:56:55 PM
I think I am coming across this post when a lot has already happened but now that he's opted to go back, we can only hope that he will keep in touch. It is annoying when the people that are closest to us, forget that family always comes first!
Title: Re: Estranged son returned after 8 years!
Post by: Jeanine on November 22, 2017, 04:48:31 PM
Well I'm glad to hear that he is at least texting and staying in contact with you. That's more then you had before. But, I'm confused (doesn't take much). You said he still has a 'wife'? When he left 8  years ago was it for her or the girlfriend that he has now? :017:  It would be fine if he settled with someone, that's normally how it goes, but to just act like he doesn't have a family is just not right. Hopefully he will hold to his guns and still in touch whether she likes it or not. She does sound a bit selfish!


You have a great Thanksgiving, just knowing that you got to spend some time with him after all these years.


 :big hug smiley sign: :big hug smiley sign:
Title: Re: Estranged son returned after 8 years!
Post by: JustUs2 on November 22, 2017, 05:24:20 PM
I'm sorry to hear that, Mary!.  I'm actually shocked too, but you know your kiddo better than I do so maybe you expected it.  I just couldn't be that cruel to demand such things from my significant other. Her attitude hurts so many people!  Still, your son could put his foot down and stick up for his familial relationships, but some just don't.  Well, I'll be praying that he won't sever the relationship with you all like he did before.  I'm glad you got to see him for as long as you did.  You showed your son love by taking him back in after years of heartache.  A mother's love is selfless like that.
Title: Re: Estranged son returned after 8 years!
Post by: MaryB on November 23, 2017, 04:19:12 PM
Hey I'm confused myself.  All I can say is some people are addicted to drugs or alcohol,  but my son may be addicted to women  :(


Anyway Happy Thanksgiving to you all too!    :big hug smiley sign: