Empty Nest Moms



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Do you ever look back and feel guilty for flying from the nest knowing that you made your parents worry and miss you?  When you're the one leaving it seems like a fun adventure, but it's sad when you're the one left behind.  At least that's how I feel.


This is a brilliant question Quiet Abode and answering it I guess gets some things off my chest that I have guilt about.  When I left home I always remember Mam cooking at the time I said I was leaving, we then boyfriend and I (still married to same person) bought a house and he lived there and I travelled back home every evening but in the end it was too far a journey and I told Mam I was moving in as well.  She never looked up from her cooking, Mam never showed emotion, and unfortunately this lack of emotion came over that she didnít care.  I said Iíll be coming back a lot especially Motherís Day to reassure her. This leaving home thing didnít hit home until she died and my daughter left home both things happened at the same time and it made me think and still does how selfish I must of seemed.  I remember feeling young, everything to look forward to and didnít think how my Mam would feel.  My Dad died three years later.  Mam was on her own 27 years and I feel so sad about that.  Itís not till now I realise but I canít make that time back up.  So I always hug my daughter, kiss her, and tell her I miss her so that she knows I care.  Even typing this has me in tears.  My daughter is nothing like I was, she calls everyday and texts but I suppose maybe thatís new technology we have to stay in touch which can only be a good thing also she seems not as selfish. X
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Does anyone here take supplements for supporting a positive mood?  I know genuine depression is a very real thing that often requires prescription medication, but that's not where I'm at.  I'm talking about just needing a slight improvement.  My doctor recommended that I try St. John's Wort, but it upsets my stomach.  Is there anything else that works for you all?


I donít take any for mood David as like you things cause me indigestion. Even though they are herbal they can still cause issues with some people. I do take a multivitamin.  Do you take them?  Deficiency in some vitamins can cause low mood.


 I got very bad about a year ago with depression,  worthlessness as well as hopelessness,  I had counselling I didnít help me if Iím honest, but what works for me is cycling every day and a coffee in my local coffee shop en route. If it werenít for that I would be quite bad.  I never felt like this prior to all the grieve I went through. 
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Venting! / Re: Inviting Friends in Our House
« Last post by David on Today at 09:35:14 AM »
Yosita, are they basically eating you out of house and home and leaving lots of messes for you to clean?  That's what it sounds like from here.
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Staying Healthy As We Age! / Re: Supplements that support a positive mood?
« Last post by David on Today at 09:27:45 AM »
Just read the label and you're right, taking it with food is one of the suggestions. I'm not usually a breakfast eater, but I guess I'll start having a piece of toast to go with my coffee.  I could never knit.  I'm way too clumsy to pull something like that off.  Do you still knit or have you found another outlet?
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Staying Healthy As We Age! / Re: Removing Wrinkles
« Last post by David on Today at 09:20:52 AM »
I'm a man, but I have a wonderful daughter and wife so I'm up on this stuff.  I don't think you can remove wrinkles permanently without plastic surgery.  Botox works semipermanently and those face creams make the skin look more radiant and healthy while it's on.  I personally hate the plastic surgery look.  Botox doesn't make people look any better either.  It's all just fake and it looks fake.  Those men and women aren't fooling anyone.  I keep talking my wife out of making any adjustments. 
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Katy, it's much harder to cease responsibility once you've taken it on.  It's very difficult to get them out of your home too.  Consider how it will affect your marriage and family.  Siblings and other relatives might say they'll help, but unless it's in writing, don't expect much.  The further along the stages go the worse the behavior might change to where violence might become an issue.  This could last for years and years too.   What about all the lifting and bathing that will eventually come into it?  Can you work out how she might pay you to be her caregiver?  Would your siblings agree to that?


My grandmother lived with us for fifteen years.  It wrecked havoc on my parent's marriage and caused a lot of resentment in the family.  What doctor's don't tell you is that nursing homes and assisted living places fill up quickly.  If your elderly person is in your home, the doctor will declare them "safe" and you'll likely be stuck.  I believe in helping my family, but there has to be a stopping point. 
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Every Day Conversations / Re: Dealing with insecurities
« Last post by David on Today at 08:59:51 AM »
When I'm getting down on myself, I tell myself - "STOP!"  Believe it or not, it immediately stops the process. It takes a while for it work, so hang in there until it's second nature.  Saying positive things about others helped me too as did looking at things from a more realistic viewpoint.  I don't contemplate whether Paul is a better worker than me.  I don't sit around cataloging my wife's faults.  Odds are, they aren't doing that to me either.  I hope you find something that works for you!
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Our Empty Nest / Re: Feeling useless
« Last post by Guineagirl on Today at 05:05:50 AM »
I'm so sorry you had to go through that! It's so hard to know that your child is hurting and there's nothing you can do to help. I'm sure she was missing her momma! I'm glad that she's doing well and that she kept you in the loop throughout the ordeal. I hope her walking gets better soon!


Thank you all of you, sheís walking better now.  How I wish like a lot on here do about their children she lived nearer.  She unlike me has a sense of adventure and loves looking for culture in different placces.  I think she is a lot more intelligent than me though, I donít know where she got that from  :(  though. :)
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Empty Nest.."What's Next" for you?? / Re: Husband might be retiring
« Last post by cherie on Today at 02:55:13 AM »
Well, even though I havenít experienced such a feeling before, this may actually be the best opportunity to do things together and get a helping hand. What are his plans after retirement? Being employed makes people get used to doing something all the time.
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Empty Nest.."What's Next" for you?? / Husband might be retiring
« Last post by Bewitched on Yesterday at 11:58:18 PM »
My husband has been thinking a lot about retiring lately. While I love the idea of having him home more often, I'm also sort of apprehensive about it. I know that's probably bad to say, but I've grown accustomed to having the days to myself. I worry that it might bug me to have him around all the time, no matter how much I love him. Have any of you dealt with this before? What was your experience like?
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