Empty Nest Moms

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Our Empty Nest / broke down while i was working
« Last post by snowflake on February 19, 2020, 07:19:53 PM »
February 19, 2020 - I am a newbie here. I am a "To-Be" empty nest mom this upcoming May 2020.

I broke down (by crying) while I was working at my desk which I had to leave asap after my boss approved. As an employee I have to act professional. I am an office tech.

I am 44 years old, married. My 3 kids are ages daughter age 23,  daughter age 18, and son age 17. My last child has a learning disability. Autism. He will be joining with a new young adult program specialized in managing autistic people on independent living.

You see, my other kids - a daughter, 23 is fully independent on her own, and other daughter, 18 are already "on their own". The 18 year old daughter is still at home busy with her job and schooling, but the 17 year old son is my last baby. Both daughters are not autistic. My son is.

The two older kids are somewhat more independent of themselves and I often did not have to deal much with them so my strength of relationship status is lesser with them. As for my youngest who is 17 (to be 18) this May 2020. I have had more bonding time with my last baby. I was able to spend more time with my last baby on many things such as playing games, biking together, going shopping, watching movies etc. I was able to relax more with this child rather than with two other older children.

My last baby never really asked for stuff. He would ask for things like candy, chips, drinks but I did buy on what he needed such as clothes, socks, and whenever I would request my last baby to do his chore which was doing the dishwashing in the kitchen. My son would just do it without complaint. He often does his chore without me asking him. I would just surprise him with a dollar bill or a candy bar. I loved seeing the light in his surprised face and his gratitude.

My son is a loner. He does not have any friends. My son is into Pokemon, video games and robot building. He also enjoyed doing gardening. When he was younger he had this habit of running to me and hugging me saying Hello every time I came home from work.

Now you see, I have no friends, no family, no support to share my grief. My parents are deceased. My siblings are distant. I really could not share this with my spouse because it hurts too much to really talk with my spouse.

I felt that my son (my last baby) is one of those people who really "bonded" with me regardless how his learning disability is, it is the character, the person, the personality. I don't know how I will be when he turns 18 this May 2020. I probably will be a wreck. I probably will be a brave mom. That is what I hope for. Courage. Yet I couldnt stop my own tears.

So that is why I decided to join here at the emptynestmoms forum founded by Jeanine.
Every Day Conversations / Re: Radio
« Last post by SadMommy on January 05, 2020, 10:43:36 PM »
Yes, they are within driving distance at least.  I don't worry too much about my girls safety (surprisingly.)
Every Day Conversations / Re: Radio
« Last post by JoanK on January 04, 2020, 06:44:56 PM »
Are they within driving distance?  I know nothing can compare to when everyone's living under the same roof, but I do look forward to visiting my older son (two-plus hours away), and in between visits (which aren't too often), I try to focus on when the next visit will be.  The bigger problem for me is excessive worrying that my sons are safe.  It must be comforting that your daughters aren't living alone and have someone to come home to. 
Every Day Conversations / Re: Radio
« Last post by SadMommy on January 04, 2020, 11:45:01 AM »
Her boyfriend has to stay in that position 2-3 years. She said it's like her going off to college, but I know it's not. My daughters aren't going to return home and live with us again. 
Every Day Conversations / Re: Radio
« Last post by JoanK on January 02, 2020, 04:31:19 PM »
I'm sooo sorry it's been such a tough year for you, SadMommy.  A year ago at this time your life was so different, and now your world's been turned upside down.  How far away will your youngest be living?  I wish I could find the words to cheer you up, but, to be honest, ever since my older son left last Saturday (he was here for a week), I've been feeling pretty much like I did in September and crying sometimes too.  At least I have two more weeks with my younger son.  I hope her boyfriend's position isn't permanent and they eventually move back.  I'm also sorry your older daughter didn't have much time to visit.  Maybe next year, the two of you can figure out a way to split up their time evenly. 
Every Day Conversations / Re: Radio
« Last post by SadMommy on January 01, 2020, 10:14:56 PM »
I like those too.  I do usually like Christmas music, but this holiday season was the worst for me in a very long time. My youngest gave us two weeks notice that she was moving to another state because her boyfriend's job.  She quit her job and is moving in with him.  She's already gone and I haven't been able to stop crying.  I also barely saw my other daughter because she was so busy with her husband and his family.

Every Day Conversations / Re: Radio
« Last post by JoanK on January 01, 2020, 06:38:09 PM »
I like the 70s and 80s, even some 60s music!  I don't listen much anymore, though.  I'm still playing Christmas music, believe it or not, but I think today will be the last day. :HNYSmiley:
Every Day Conversations / Re: Radio
« Last post by SadMommy on December 24, 2019, 09:24:46 PM »
I love the 80's too!  I was just thinking the other day I should start listening to it to see if it will help me get out of this depression.
Every Day Conversations / Radio
« Last post by Guineagirl on December 12, 2019, 11:16:33 AM »
 :039:  We have mice caused by our neighbour so really doing everything we can to rid them to sell up in Spring.  Something after empty nest I wouldnít of imagined but have realised it would be good for us.

Iíve discovered listening to the radio basically to create noise but I love it 80s music channel, itís so jolly, does anyone else love the 80s?  For me it was a wonderful time going out dancing x
Our Empty Nest / Re: Halloween Making Me Sad
« Last post by nvgt16 on December 02, 2019, 08:10:18 PM »
My kids have been out of the house for about 6 years now and they moved far away, one is now in France with her rather new husband, I'm actually going to be a grandma for the 1st time next June! As my kids moved away, I moved from the northeast to Florida hard to believe about 2 years ago. All of my kids stuff came with me including containers of decorations. I actually was ready to let my kids take some for their new homes, it was bittersweet but especially for my daughter so far away, she gets to bring home with her to her new home. It was so cool and heartwarming to see our decorations in her new home. It's funny kind of because I'll start looking for some pieces, can't find them, and then I look back at the photos of my kids homes and there are the decorations that they grew up with!. I moved into a 55+ neighborhood when I first moved down here but haven't been happy so I'm closing on a brand new townhouse on the 27th and it's in a regular neighborhood so hopefully there will be some kids who will do trick or treating next Halloween! Right now I'm pretty much all packed up so sadly the majority of my Xmas decorations are somewhere packed up too. But I'm going to celebrate Xmas starting on the 27th! I'm single and I'll be in the middle of school vacation so I can do what I want and I don't want to miss celebrating Xmas. I had hoped that I could move in on the 23rd but the builder isn't letting that happen, very sad but I'm just going to enjoy Xmas after. Holidays are an adjustment so I've found that I can just enjoy the day for what it is or I can try and learn to go with the flow and try something new. For me, I'll be busy unpacking many, many boxes to keep my mind busy!
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