Empty Nest Moms

Empty Nest Moms AND Dads! => Empty Nest.."What's Next" for you?? => Topic started by: haidyl on March 19, 2018, 12:24:00 PM

Title: Keeping in touch
Post by: haidyl on March 19, 2018, 12:24:00 PM

What was your experience when the kids started moving out? Did you learn to handle them better along the way? When our eldest left, he hardly called and rarely texted. We figured out that he was probably getting used to living alone and so 'pestering' him became a thing of the past. After a while, he started communicating more often, taking turns to call and check on us.

Is this some kind of phase that they all go through?

Title: Re: Keeping in touch
Post by: MaryB on March 19, 2018, 01:21:27 PM

I think they all have to break apron strings, but mine took it to extremes with estrangement!  As much as it hurts when they pull away it is great they dont stop talking altogether

Title: Re: Keeping in touch
Post by: ava on March 23, 2018, 01:26:19 PM

I agree with you MaryB. As parents we tend to worry when they go mum on us but I think it is a phase that each child goes through but how long it takes is what varies. Sorry about that MaryB; I hope that one day, he or she is going to change.  :smileyholdingflower: :big hug smiley sign:

Title: Re: Keeping in touch
Post by: MaryB on March 23, 2018, 03:38:48 PM

Thanks, ava..  he is back.  Took him to leave the wife to do it but he is back in our life, but I'll tell you it is not the person I knew.  It is nothing like I had thought it would be.  I thought if he came back in our lives it would be like it was, and that's far from the truth.

Title: Re: Keeping in touch
Post by: haidyl on March 25, 2018, 08:46:41 AM

Quote from: MaryB on March 23, 2018, 03:38:48 PM

Thanks, ava..  he is back.  Took him to leave the wife to do it but he is back in our life, but I'll tell you it is not the person I knew.  It is nothing like I had thought it would be.  I thought if he came back in our lives it would be like it was, and that's far from the truth.

So sorry to hear this. What would you say occasioned this change and is there a possibility that he is going to be the son you always knew? Such situations can eat up the mind but I believe that you are holding yourself together and hoping for the best?

Title: Re: Keeping in touch
Post by: MaryB on March 25, 2018, 03:51:05 PM

Quote from: haidyl on March 25, 2018, 08:46:41 AM

Quote from: MaryB on March 23, 2018, 03:38:48 PM

Thanks, ava..  he is back.  Took him to leave the wife to do it but he is back in our life, but I'll tell you it is not the person I knew.  It is nothing like I had thought it would be.  I thought if he came back in our lives it would be like it was, and that's far from the truth.

So sorry to hear this. What would you say occasioned this change and is there a possibility that he is going to be the son you always knew? Such situations can eat up the mind but I believe that you are holding yourself together and hoping for the best?

haidyl,  I found this site when my son left me, and I didnt know about estrangement, and the friendship of all you folks, and especially Jeanine,  kept me here, but my problem was not empty nest but estrangement.  My son got in with a girl that didnt want his family but only him, and took him off encircled into her family and would have no contact with us going on 9 years.  He recently left her and came back to us, but it is strained as she keeps pulling at him to go back, and even though he says he is not leaving his family again (wants her to come here 0_x)  I dont feel safe with him now.  He is not the person we knew.  He filed for divorce, but I know that couples get back together even after divorce so again,  not secure here. 
Thanks for the concern..   :big hug smiley sign: