Empty Nest Moms

Empty Nest Moms AND Dads! => Our Empty Nest => Topic started by: David on July 10, 2018, 05:51:04 PM

Title: How should we prepare?
Post by: David on July 10, 2018, 05:51:04 PM
My wife and I are going to be empty nesters this fall when our only child starts college, far, far away.  We're proud of her accomplishments (full ride), but we're going to miss her terribly.  Any tips for preparing for an empty nest?  Any tips for lessening the blow and just making it a little easier to help with the transition?
Title: Re: How should we prepare?
Post by: girlchild34 on July 11, 2018, 05:16:28 AM
This is something that almost everyone struggles with at first, and you will no doubt miss her more than you can imagine. I think it all starts with the acceptance that your daughter is eventually to go and start her own life.
Title: Re: How should we prepare?
Post by: Bev1960 on July 11, 2018, 01:35:37 PM
Welcome David, glad to see some dads on here. I'm like girlchild, I'm not so sure you can really prepare for  your empty nest. Just try planning on doing some different things once she is out of the nest to keep busy. You'll still miss them a lot but with time you will adjust so hang in there!
Title: Re: How should we prepare?
Post by: Quiet Abode on July 13, 2018, 10:16:11 AM
Welcome to the group!  I agree that keeping busy can help, so it might be a good time to find a new hobby.  I want to warn you of one thing - it's rough when college kids come and go.  Summer vacation is the toughest because you have enough time to get used to them being home again.  It's like ripping open the wound when they return to school.  It gets better with time, but I was wholly unprepared for those feelings to hit me again. 
Title: Re: How should we prepare?
Post by: MomOfTwo on July 14, 2018, 01:19:37 AM
I can only tell you what I've experienced. There is nothing we can do to really prepare us from missing our kids when they leave the house. As for us, my husband and I enjoyed our companionship before the kids were born, during the kids are growing up with us, and after the kids have left home. We miss our sons, but as long as we are together, then we stay happy.
Title: Re: How should we prepare?
Post by: Guineagirl on July 14, 2018, 03:28:16 PM
 :039: Hi,


It’s nice to hear from a male as I think it affects men as well.  It’s good you are thinking of how you will feel also.  I reckon your daughter will miss you too.  Nothing could of prepared me for waving our only child our daughter off two and a half years ago, I still remember middle of winter her stood on the step waving I to me she looked like a little girl in my eyes and I cried the whole three hour journey home. We still miss each other so much.  What helped was Skype, texting, calling and helping with any problems she had.  Knowing they can call anytime really helps them settle in.  We plan our next visit when we see her and vice versa, that has really helped.  I miss being Mam though in the flesh,  Her room was hard I didn’t go in it for days I shut the door and did things slowly in there, hoovering as she had so much clutter lol.  I have bad days so you and your wife will also.  It’s been hard or else I wouldn’t of joined.  It’s been hard doing things as a couple again as I miss her being with us.  When you visit your daughter she will look forward to you going and the treats you bring.  Sorry it’s a long post I won’t lie it’s hard. X
Title: Re: How should we prepare?
Post by: David on July 17, 2018, 11:34:46 PM
What helped was Skype, texting, calling and helping with any problems she had.  Knowing they can call anytime really helps them settle in.  We plan our next visit when we see her and vice versa, that has really helped.
Hello, Guineagirl.  Thank you for the warm welcome!  Don't apologize for your long post.  It's full of helpful information and I appreciate your taking the time to help.


So, how do I get my daughter to Skype, text, and visit us because I don't believe she's going to miss us one bit.  I'm close to my kiddo and I know she loves us, but she's outgoing, adventurous, and makes friends quickly.  I don't believe she'll have any problems settling in. I'm terrified that we'll rarely hear from her. 

I lurked here for ages before joining because I thought it might be for mothers and other women.  I asked the owner if fathers were welcome and she encouraged me to join and to participate.  My wife isn't worried about our daughter leaving- YET.  Right now she's in her mother hen mode.  She's helping our daughter gather everything she needs and culling her items down to the necessities because she'll be living in a tiny dorm room.  But I'm thinking ahead.  We're both going to worry to death when our daughter eaves.  I'm hoping to mitigate what I can so we don't become weeping zombies. 
Title: Re: How should we prepare?
Post by: Guineagirl on July 18, 2018, 06:26:14 AM
Hi David,


I’m glad my post wasn’t insensitive I worried it came over like that, that’s the trouble with keyboards.  Your daughter sounds like mine, independant and can’t wait to do things.  Believe me,  she will miss you.  My daughter did very much and after three months had a meltdown and we had to go get her and bring her home six hour journey just to spend time with us and her old room.  After two and a half years she still lives where she does but we visit every month still and she comes here.  She sounds like she’ll miss you very much.  She will call believe me even just to hear you.  She will need advice and help with even basic things like how long to cook something etc and ven just to rant.  I love the rants as it honestly makes me feel useful.  Ask her before she goes can we text etc as I did.  Your wife will be busy at the moment preparing your daughter but it’s the reality of the room empty and the chatting that we miss.  Best thing is though if you feel upset I mean when it’s you and your wife be upset don’t bottle it up it makes you ill.  One thing I did was when my daughter Skype when she moved I told her I missed her she said me two but she knew that we did then.  I think your daughter sounds like she loves you very much and one day will be pleased you raised her like I so sh has confidence in herself x
Title: Re: How should we prepare?
Post by: David on July 20, 2018, 12:04:38 PM
Thank you for the support, Guineagirl.  It's time like these that I wish we lived in a country where the culture supported families living together.  Just who decided our children should leave someday?   :dunno:



Title: Re: How should we prepare?
Post by: Guineagirl on July 20, 2018, 01:31:54 PM
You’re welcome David you should come on here to vent as we all seem to feel the same feelings that are up and down.   :huggingsmiley:
Title: Re: How should we prepare?
Post by: haidyl on July 22, 2018, 08:03:23 AM
The one thing that has always stuck in my mind over the years is that last wave and watching your child get excited because of the journey they are about to start. They may not necessarily show it but the fact is that our kids miss us too. I can guarantee you that the best moment is when you are walking this journey and helping your child adapt quickly. I wish you the very best in the coming months.
Title: Re: How should we prepare?
Post by: janbear on July 24, 2018, 09:45:14 AM
Newbie here. My daughter leaves for college next month. Glad to see others feel as i do. I know that this will be a great experience for her but worry,fear and sadness plague me already
Title: Re: How should we prepare?
Post by: David on July 27, 2018, 08:30:45 PM
Newbie here. My daughter leaves for college next month. Glad to see others feel as i do. I know that this will be a great experience for her but worry,fear and sadness plague me already
Hello there, janbear!  I'm glad you're here with us, it lets me know I'm not crazy for freaking out so much.  We're getting closer and closer to the date.  I worry that the big bad wolf is out there ready to snatch my little piglet.  Is your daughter's school close to home or further away?