Empty Nest Moms

Our "Senior" Empty Nesters! => Our "Later Years"...What we've learned as we've aged => Topic started by: Quiet Abode on July 23, 2018, 06:25:42 AM

Title: When you flew from the nest
Post by: Quiet Abode on July 23, 2018, 06:25:42 AM
Do you ever look back and feel guilty for flying from the nest knowing that you made your parents worry and miss you?  When you're the one leaving it seems like a fun adventure, but it's sad when you're the one left behind.  At least that's how I feel. 
Title: Re: When you flew from the nest
Post by: MaryB on July 23, 2018, 02:03:43 PM
 :goodpost: really makes you think!  I could not wait to get out of my mother's house, but it was more like a prison than a home life...  I have really went over board making my son's home HIS home...  maybe to much..   
Plus my mom was the kind that thought when we turned 18 we were gone anyway.
Title: Re: When you flew from the nest
Post by: girlchild34 on July 23, 2018, 02:54:32 PM
I was eager to leave too but it wasn't long before I started feeling home sick. It is quite interesting that things happen so fast and within no time, we are actually the ones left behind. We had parents who were strict disciplinarians and personally I started seeing the sense of it all, as an adult living on his own.
Title: Re: When you flew from the nest
Post by: Gerri on August 07, 2018, 08:00:33 AM
I actually stayed with my mother for a long time and thought I was a hinderance to her. Now looking back I know that I wasn't and that she loved having me around. Our relationship did become much better once I moved out. The same can be said for my children and me right now.
Title: Re: When you flew from the nest
Post by: Katy on August 28, 2018, 05:22:47 AM
I wouldn't say I feel guilty, but I definitely have more compassion for my parents now. When I was leaving the nest, I didn't understand all the fuss and worry. Now, I do, and I have empathy for my parents and all of the emotions they experienced when I left.
Title: Re: When you flew from the nest
Post by: Gerri on August 30, 2018, 04:11:24 AM
It certainly is a different feeling when you're the one leaving home, because you have so much to look forward to, many new friends to make, college to focus on. I never really thought about the loneliness my parents may have felt. But now I know what it feels like and it hurts! Makes me feel like I should've called them more often and not get so caught up in my own things.
Title: Re: When you flew from the nest
Post by: Guineagirl on September 23, 2018, 01:11:20 PM
Do you ever look back and feel guilty for flying from the nest knowing that you made your parents worry and miss you?  When you're the one leaving it seems like a fun adventure, but it's sad when you're the one left behind.  At least that's how I feel.


This is a brilliant question Quiet Abode and answering it I guess gets some things off my chest that I have guilt about.  When I left home I always remember Mam cooking at the time I said I was leaving, we then boyfriend and I (still married to same person) bought a house and he lived there and I travelled back home every evening but in the end it was too far a journey and I told Mam I was moving in as well.  She never looked up from her cooking, Mam never showed emotion, and unfortunately this lack of emotion came over that she didn’t care.  I said I’ll be coming back a lot especially Mother’s Day to reassure her. This leaving home thing didn’t hit home until she died and my daughter left home both things happened at the same time and it made me think and still does how selfish I must of seemed.  I remember feeling young, everything to look forward to and didn’t think how my Mam would feel.  My Dad died three years later.  Mam was on her own 27 years and I feel so sad about that.  It’s not till now I realise but I can’t make that time back up.  So I always hug my daughter, kiss her, and tell her I miss her so that she knows I care.  Even typing this has me in tears.  My daughter is nothing like I was, she calls everyday and texts but I suppose maybe that’s new technology we have to stay in touch which can only be a good thing also she seems not as selfish. X
Title: Re: When you flew from the nest
Post by: David on September 24, 2018, 09:48:51 AM
Guineagirl, the fact that it still bothers you years later shows you aren't selfish at all and have a great deal of empathy.  Going your own way is just part of growing up.  I honestly think there is no good way to leave.  It will sting no matter how it's done or how tight the relationship was beforehand.  I understand the guilt though!
Title: Re: When you flew from the nest
Post by: Guineagirl on September 24, 2018, 12:56:52 PM
Guineagirl, the fact that it still bothers you years later shows you aren't selfish at all and have a great deal of empathy.  Going your own way is just part of growing up.  I honestly think there is no good way to leave.  It will sting no matter how it's done or how tight the relationship was beforehand.  I understand the guilt though!


You’re right.  It’s hard sometimes to get your head around the fact that now my daughter is at the stage of her life that I once was and now I’m at the stage my Mam once was, and I think where did all those years go.  :dunno: