Empty Nest Moms



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Reading and Movies! / Re: Moby Dick - what a struggle!
« Last post by Treasure on Yesterday at 05:41:38 PM »
If you read it as a child, I bet it was an abridged version. It's definitely a difficult book to get through. I find that a lot of the classics that the "experts" recommend tend to be like that. Some of them are wonderful reads though! I love looking for symbolism in books. It can be challenging at first when you're just getting started, but you'll start to see them everywhere soon enough. This is a great online symbolism dictionary.
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Our Empty Nest / Re: Do you feel pressure to keep your nest empty?
« Last post by Treasure on Yesterday at 05:37:22 PM »
I hate how other people act like children can be treated in a "one size fits all" manner. Every child is different and every relationship between a parent and their child is different. That being said, my husband was worried when my older son moved back home with us. He was worried that he'd get too comfortable. Honestly, I was too. We made sure that he was actively looking for jobs, contributing around the house, and trying to better himself. We didn't want him to think he could just go back to being a teenager.

I never really considered what my friends, parents, or neighbors would think about it. This had nothing to do with them. Besides, it isn't all that uncommon these days. It turned out to be a great thing. We got to spend more time with our son and he's now off living on his own with a great job. We couldn't be more proud of him or grateful for the time we got to spend with him as an adult.
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Our Empty Nest / Re: Do you feel pressure to keep your nest empty?
« Last post by MaryB on Yesterday at 04:43:59 PM »
Interesting thread.   You know this reminds me of when your babies are small and other mother's putting pressure on you that their child walked first, or learned to go potty first, or your's is still sucking their thumb!  Oh gee...  no way.  Nope, everyone is different and I would not let anyone pressure me into putting my child out, when they were not ready.  A mother knows, right!  Or is that a Father knows best... lol  But that's my 2 cents.  And my mother would never let us go home, no matter what.   I have my son with us right now, starting over after a divorce.  My door is always open to him. 
Please dont let anyone tell you how to raise your child.  Remember no one loves or cares what happens to your children as much as you.   :big hug smiley sign:
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Empty Nest.."What's Next" for you?? / Re: Considering moving but I'm hesitant
« Last post by Melee on Yesterday at 03:29:25 PM »
I don't know if you've made a choice, but I think that since your kids are torn on the decision that means that they maybe really want you to keep that home. There is something very appealing about having a familiar place that you can always go back to. I think if you can continue to live in the same house, even though it might be a challenge, then that would be a good thing.
On the other hand, moving can be nice too, especially if things are more convenient to get to, and if the new place is easier to maintain.
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It's only natural to miss your daughter, and hopefully since you posted this you are getting along a little better.

Even though it does not seem like a popular opinion in this day and age, and not even in this thread, I don't see anything wrong with having a baby at 46 if that's what you want to do. That being said, I don't think it's the best idea in the world to have a baby because you miss your daughter. That seems like the wrong start off in life for a little one.

I do know of people who've had babies when they were over 50 and got along just fine. Granted the women I'm talking about were very physically fit, very energetic, and very strong in their belief to choose what they wanted to do with their own bodies, even if society doesn't see things the same way.

I noticed, at least in one of these cases, the the woman had a very calm and laid back nature which definitely helped her since everyone around her, including her doctor was telling her to get rid of the baby. She kept the baby, and all was well.

As far as getting a job in the same city, I don't know what you have decided, but I do know that time heals all wounds. The intense way that you miss your daughter is going to subside, and I think you'll feel better, hopefully sooner than later.






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Our Empty Nest / Do you feel pressure to keep your nest empty?
« Last post by Melee on Yesterday at 02:51:47 PM »
When my son graduated from high school a couple of years ago, he told me that he wanted to take some time off from school and not go to college straightaway, which I was perfectly fine with. Some of my acquaintances, the minute their child turned/turns 18 they either made them leave home (whether they were leaving to go to college or not), or made them go to college right away.


Prior to your nest being empty, did you feel pressured from your spouse, parents, relatives, peers, or colleagues at work into making your child leave home? Did you feel like once your child/children graduated from high school that he or she/they had to leave home immediately because if they stayed at home that would make you look like a bad parent?


And after your child left the nest, if your child asks to come back home for whatever reason, do you feel like you have to say 'No, you can't come back' because you're concerned about the opinions of others?
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Reading and Movies! / Moby Dick - what a struggle!
« Last post by Pat on Yesterday at 09:09:47 AM »
I was led to read "Moby Dick" by Herman Melville after hearing a discussion abut the book on the radio. And what a struggle it's been for me. Not really a pleasure at all. I know that I read it as a child, but it must have been an adapted version for children. Moby Dick is known as one of America's greatest novels but I have to admit to skipping pages of narrative that just did not make sense to me. I think all those sailors were on some sort of hallucinogenic drug.  :cutecheerleader:


It is full of literary and cultural allusions. There's lots of symbolism that I don't 'get' and philosophical discussions galore between the crew. On the other hand, the adventure of whale hunting in the 19th century is interesting as is the very detailed descriptions of how each part of a whale's body is processed.


BUT I can't say I'd recommend it if you want an easy read. This morning I finished it and it was a great relief.
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Venting! / Re: No Permit
« Last post by Pat on Yesterday at 08:59:06 AM »
I think it will catch up with him eventually. He's obviously not using a proper building firm if his builders have agreed to go ahead without a permit. The whole project is probably not ensured. And somebody is bound to inform on him at some point in the future. Then you can enjoy watching him dismantle his illegal storage unit.
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Some "Fun" things to do.... / Re: Joining a book club
« Last post by Pat on Yesterday at 08:55:38 AM »
Oh, I'd go ahead and join it if I was you. I wish there was a book club near me. I've never been a member of one but I've head about them. I think it would be a great opportunity to meet new people and explore many different attitudes as you discuss the book of the moment. It will be a very enriching experience.
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Some "Fun" things to do.... / Re: Joining a book club
« Last post by ava on April 21, 2018, 11:57:16 AM »
Thank you BettyBoop and Cookie for your kind words. My worry has always been joining then not being able to honor the meetings but as you say, there's more to a book club than meets the eye. I will talk to my friend once I have made up my mind.
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