Empty Nest Moms

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Empty Nest and being Single (again) / Re: Meeting Men for Friendship?
« Last post by Krista on Today at 06:24:01 AM »
Thank you, everyone!  These are all fantastic ideas.

I especially love the idea of taking a class.  I really enjoy learning new things, and it would be a great place to make friends.  I have a local community college that offers classes for a small fee.  I'll check to see what they have coming up. 

My Spanish skills have gotten very rusty since college, and I'e been meaning to brush them up, so maybe I'll start with a Spanish class.
Kids returning home? Nest not so empty now? / Re: That Spare Bedroom
« Last post by Krista on Today at 06:16:42 AM »
Right now, my daughter's former room is a guest bedroom.  However, we're talking about her moving back in with me for a while so she can look for a better-paying job, one that will be able to support her sufficiently.

After she moves out, that room will become a guest room once again.  I don't have a lot of overnight guests, but I like having the room available so that friends who live out of town can stay with me for a night or two when they visit if they want.
My daughter graduated from college, but she's having a hard time finding a decent job.  She has a job right now, but it doesn't pay her enough for her to support herself.

We're tossing around the idea of her coming home to live with me again.  However, I'm wondering how this might work.  She's a responsible young woman, and I want to encourage her to do what's best for her and her independence. 

Do I require her to pay some rent to stay with me or should I just encourage her to save up for her own place?  What do I require of her while she's staying with me in terms of housework, cooking, and coming and going? 

Does anyone have any experience with this type of situation?  How did you work it out with your kids?
Our Empty Nest / Still sad
« Last post by Guineagirl on Today at 06:03:43 AM »
 :039: :sign0144:  Hi,

I found here by chance googling.  Hope people are friendly.  Iíve had empty nest now for two years four months, I have on child.  At the same time two weeks after empty nest my Mam who I cared for for two years died of bladder cancer, I was with her at her death.  I miss her terribly still and still cry about missing her, I donít think I will ever stop missing her.  That and my child moving three hours away with their job.  Then two guineas passing away.  Itís all been so hard.  I hear from my daughter a lot, she texts, rings and Skypes.  She visits a lot and we do her and have wonderful trips out and treat her to meals out.  My Mam never hugged me so I always make a point of hugging her and giving her a kiss. I still miss her though.  I have told her I miss her but I never burden her and she knows I know she has a life.  She is in a triangle of thought, missing us, going where the work is and living away, she has found it hard so we visit a lot and help her as much as we can.  I think Iíve developed a fear of death and keep thinking whatís now, just getting older.  How do others deal with this.  When we do things I feel so guilty my daughter isnít with us and that we are trying to live our lives almost without her now.  So hard though.  I donít think I was the best mother in the world so look back critically at been too busy or too impatient and never at the good points of me raising her.  Sorry to rant Iíve never discussed this with anyone other than a counsellor last year but it didnít help x
Kids returning home? Nest not so empty now? / That Spare Bedroom
« Last post by Indiana on Yesterday at 03:00:24 PM »
We all obviously have one when the birdies fly the nest, but do you use it as a multi-purpose room? Something for yourself and a sleeping area for them when they come over?
Home is where the stomach is. Food draws a family together more than video games and T.V. We do others things than just eat, but the kitchen table is always where it starts.
Kids returning home? Nest not so empty now? / Re: A different kind of nest
« Last post by Indiana on Yesterday at 02:47:59 PM »
Every year, there is a bird (Or maybe it's a different one each year) that builds a nest in the rafters of my porch, not far from the one from the previous year. The bird has her babies there, feeds them, the babies eventually fly away and the mama leaves the nest. She then comes back next year with another nest nearby.

Some people sell their homes when their kids leave and buy an RV. They travel to wherever, but most always come back to where they originally were. A different kind of nest. Those people reminds me of that mama bird.
Sometimes seperation anxiety only rears its ugly head when they come back for a visit. It will pass when they leave again. If there are set times when they come for a visit, write down those dates on a calendar. Maybe that will help.
Enjoying Your Nest Being Empty? / Re: Being Able to Keep Dishes
« Last post by Marie on Yesterday at 06:22:28 AM »
My kids did break some dishes, but they didn't break many, thankfully.  Nevertheless, we put our good china away.  I'm excited to get it out and start using it on special occasions now!

I totally agree with, @Indiana.  Once your kids have to pay for everything, they figure out that they need to treat their things with care. 
Our Empty Nest / Re: No two kids are ever the same
« Last post by Marie on Yesterday at 06:11:04 AM »
It's so true.  Our firstborn son didn't reach out to us much after he left home.  It was upon us to call him and check on him.  He has gotten a little better about calling us.

Our youngest calls and checks on us regularly and keeps us posted on what's going on in his life.  He's always been the more sensitive of our two boys, and I think he worries about us a bit now that we are, "empty nesters."
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