Anybody feel like they're just waiting?

[SadMommy]

I don't know how else to describe it.  I just have the constant feeling like I'm waiting for something.  I know my kids aren't coming back home, but I guess I feel like they've been gone on a long vacation and they'll be back any day.  It's kind of like feeling homesick or like just something is missing.  Has/had anyone have this and does it ever go away?

[EllieM]

This is what I feel like as well. I know exactly what you mean. It's like I am not living my life, but I am just going through the motions waiting for something exciting to happen. This is something I am trying to change by finding some new hobbies to get excited over.

[JoanK]

My younger son (17) started college two weeks ago (an hour away), and just this Saturday we moved our older son (24) to another state two hours from "here" (I almost typed "home" but realized this is no longer his home and never will be again).  I've been crying daily since the first week of August, when he accepted the out-of-state job.  If only he were no more than an hour away, we could have spontaneous visits and I could get to him if he ever needed help.  It's a double whammy for me with both kids moving out at the same time, and I had no idea just how truly sad I'd be and how dark my world would become.  I've had no concept of days or time for weeks and have been just going through the motions every day.  Just typing this is making me cry.  My eyes fill up every time my kids are mentioned in conversations or something in this house--which is just about everything in every room--triggers memories of when we all woke up and went to bed under the same roof.  How did life go by so, so fast? Another chapter finished in the blink of an eye.   What I feel like I'm waiting for is something bad to happen to one of us soon.  Either my phone is going to ring with bad news, or we will have to tell my kids something is wrong with my husband or me.  I don't see myself getting past this anytime soon. 

[SadMommy]

It's a double whammy for me with both kids moving out at the same time, and I had no idea just how truly sad I'd be and how dark my world would become... I don't see myself getting past this anytime soon. 

I totally understand! Both my daughters moved out a week from each other. My 24 y/o got married and my 21 moved into an apartment with two roommates. I always knew that I would have a hard time when they moved out, but this is beyond what I thought!
 

[Elise]

Both of my kids are in college now, so i know they will be home for at least some of their breaks. I can imagine having the same feeling of waiting when they actually get places of their own. Maybe it's the mind's way of trying to ease the pain?

[adanna]

The feeling of waiting is surely unpleasant. I feel like I have always been waiting for something, not just waiting for my kids to come and visit me. The feeling doesn’t easily go away and I have to distract myself from that.

[JoanK]

It's a double whammy for me with both kids moving out at the same time, and I had no idea just how truly sad I'd be and how dark my world would become... I don't see myself getting past this anytime soon. 

I totally understand! Both my daughters moved out a week from each other. My 24 y/o got married and my 21 moved into an apartment with two roommates. I always knew that I would have a hard time when they moved out, but this is beyond what I thought!
 

So we're in the same boat:  One day the house was full of life, and then everything went quiet, just like that.  Sometimes I feel like I walk around here in a daze.  I can't imagine ever getting used to this. 
 

[JoanK]

Both of my kids are in college now, so i know they will be home for at least some of their breaks. I can imagine having the same feeling of waiting when they actually get places of their own. Maybe it's the mind's way of trying to ease the pain?

It was rough when my older son went to college, but after a few weeks when he adjusted, I felt better.  And then I focused on the long Christmas break, and that helped by giving me something to look forward to.  But a a couple of days after he accepted the out-of-town job is when it sunk in that this would never be his address again, and then a deep sadness and I'd say even depression set in.  So yes, I think while in college, we happily anticipate their breaks, and doing so gets us through the time they're away.  I'm feeling like that again with my younger son.  It's much harder for my mind to console me in some way with my older son, though. 

[SadMommy]

So we're in the same boat:  One day the house was full of life, and then everything went quiet, just like that.  Sometimes I feel like I walk around here in a daze.  I can't imagine ever getting used to this. 
 



Same here! I do feel like I'm walking around in a daze. I keep trying to distract myself, but I'm losing the battle.

[JoanK]

So we're in the same boat:  One day the house was full of life, and then everything went quiet, just like that.  Sometimes I feel like I walk around here in a daze.  I can't imagine ever getting used to this. 
 



Same here! I do feel like I'm walking around in a daze. I keep trying to distract myself, but I'm losing the battle.

I've rearranged some things in the house and changed some of my routine so I won't be reminded of how life was before they left.  We'll see if it helps!