Feeling Hopeless

[SadMommy]

Hello All,


I'm new here.  Both my daughters moved out in June.  My eldest got married and my youngest moved into an apartment with two roommates.  I'm still having a hard time. Thankfully they both still live nearby, but I still can't get over the feeling that things are never going to be the same and I don't know what to do with myself.  I feel like "what's the point?" (Don't worry, I don't believe in suicide.) I just really want my babies back and I know that is not an option. I just can't seem to get out of this depression and anxiety. I know the only thing that helps a little is to force myself to get up and keep busy. 


Anyone gone through this and has it gotten better?


Thanks!
Shannah

[nvgt16]

Hi, welcome! It's a great place to be! I can relate just like everyone else here too. I've been on this website for many, many years and I still come back especially when I need to get myself out of a rut, again! That's so nice that both of your daughters live nearby! I think a lot of us have felt the same way and I still feel that same way even when I'm busy. Both of my kids live thousands of miles away from me so we generally video chat when it's possible. I actually feel blessed right now because I was actually able to see both of my kids this year...my son up in RI at my dad's funeral and my daughter and her husband flew in from their home in France for most of July. She's about to board her flights back home, from up in Boston. I moved to Florida almost 2 years ago and am trying to adjust to the change but it does keep my mind busy. I think that's what's helped me the most. Enjoy being here and there's a lot of positive thoughts and suggestions for you to read!

[Guineagirl]

Hello All,


I'm new here.  Both my daughters moved out in June.  My eldest got married and my youngest moved into an apartment with two roommates.  I'm still having a hard time. Thankfully they both still live nearby, but I still can't get over the feeling that things are never going to be the same and I don't know what to do with myself.  I feel like "what's the point?" (Don't worry, I don't believe in suicide.) I just really want my babies back and I know that is not an option. I just can't seem to get out of this depression and anxiety. I know the only thing that helps a little is to force myself to get up and keep busy. 


Anyone gone through this and has it gotten better?


Thanks!
Shannah


Hi Shannah,


Just wanted to say Hi to you and to say Yeah I have felt like you too.  I have bad days and good days so can’t help really as it has changed to a new phase as my daughter now has a partner whom she met six months ago something I knew would happen so now she juggles visiting with seeing him so it’s hard for her now to visit as much,  I agree no matter how busy we are our identity does change. X

[FeelingBetter]

Hi SadMommy, I think at one point we have all said that we would like to have our 'babies' back. Time just goes by so fast it seems to make your head spin!


Hang in there and like you mentioned, just keep making yourself get up and get busy. Try to do a little something each day just to make yourself feel better. With time you should start to adjust. Take care of yourself! Do come here to 'talk' anytime you feel the need. It can help.


 

[SadMommy]

Thanks everyone for the replies!  I just didn't realize it would take so long to adjust and that I might never get use to them not being in the same house!

[adanna]

Hello! I totally understand the struggle that you are going through. And don’t worry, it’s completely fine to feel this way. You will soon find yourself more peace after you have adapted to it. I hope you find this platform useful like we do!

[FeelingBetter]

Hello SadMommy just checking on you to see how you are doing.....   Are you managing to keep yourself busy and do you get to visit with your kids often? I know you mentioned that they live close by. I know it's not the same as them actually living in the same house with you but hopefully over time you will adjust more and more.


Take care and do let us know how things are going when you can!


 

[Elizabeth]

Hi SadMommy, welcome! I'm with FeelingBetter, just wondering how you are doing? Hope you are starting to adjust? Hang in there and do give yourself plenty of time.
 

[SadMommy]

Hello Everyone,


Thank you for your concern.  I have good days and bad...(or good hours and bad hours..hahaha.) I've adjusted a little to where at least I'm not expecting my kids to walk in the front door, but I just still feel like something is missing. I see them probably on average once a week. My younger one maybe a half hour at a time when she stops by to pick something up and my eldest a little longer where we might go for a walk or go to the store.  It's just really hard going from seeing and doing stuff with them basically everyday to this. I know that they aren't dead, Thank God. I guess this is kind of like what a divorce would feel like or getting fired from a life long job that you loved.


Thanks again for your support!

[Guineagirl]

Hello Everyone,


Thank you for your concern.  I have good days and bad...(or good hours and bad hours..hahaha.) I've adjusted a little to where at least I'm not expecting my kids to walk in the front door, but I just still feel like something is missing. I see them probably on average once a week. My younger one maybe a half hour at a time when she stops by to pick something up and my eldest a little longer where we might go for a walk or go to the store.  It's just really hard going from seeing and doing stuff with them basically everyday to this. I know that they aren't dead, Thank God. I guess this is kind of like what a divorce would feel like or getting fired from a life long job that you loved.


Thanks again for your support!

   You’re right it is a huge loss x