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Author Topic: Cheating/Infidelity  (Read 4358 times)

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Offline Mom56

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Cheating/Infidelity
« on: March 30, 2019, 11:52:34 PM »

  • Before I spill my guts I’d like to know what husbands(men,in general) consider cheating;  is an emotional affair/continued online involvement considered infidelity even though it  does not involve sex? :dunno:
  • I mean hubby  was discovered online and denies its cheating with her.

Offline MaryB

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Re: Cheating/Infidelity
« Reply #1 on: March 31, 2019, 09:19:42 PM »
Whew, this is a hot button topic to me...    I'll tell you what though, the pastor said today,  men need to stick together in prayer because they face daily challenges women do not understand..  and I thought, humm....  so that came across the pulpit!  I know men that have beautiful wives and still cheat..  I know men that look at porn on a daily basis...   I recently caught my husband and although I know he is not perfect, he gives me no, absolutely no attention...does not so much as touch my arm...  and to catch him into porn about killed me..  it felt just like he cheated and it hurt me to the core..  just another brick between us in my opinion.  Did I say to much?  haha  :sign0144:

Empty Nest Moms

Re: Cheating/Infidelity
« Reply #1 on: March 31, 2019, 09:19:42 PM »

Offline Katy

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Re: Cheating/Infidelity
« Reply #2 on: April 03, 2019, 06:29:33 AM »
Oh, I'm sorry. I think men often view cheating in a different way than women, but I can't speak for any man because I'm not one. I know that if my husband were having an emotional affair, I'd feel really hurt, angry, and violated.

We're all here if you want to talk. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers.

Offline SusanWGF

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Re: Cheating/Infidelity
« Reply #3 on: April 04, 2019, 04:39:44 AM »
If my husband was chatting with another woman, even online, I would consider that to be cheating. I would be just as hurt if it was physical, maybe even more so. If it was physical, I would be able to wrap my head around it. If it was emotional, that would mean he genuinely was interested in the woman and she was not just a roll in the hay. I don't know how I would handle that.

Empty Nest Moms

Re: Cheating/Infidelity
« Reply #3 on: April 04, 2019, 04:39:44 AM »

Offline CountryMom

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Re: Cheating/Infidelity
« Reply #4 on: April 04, 2019, 11:33:15 PM »
Oh dear, I'm so sorry. This topic hits close to home for me. My ex-husband and I divorced because I discovered he was having an affair. It was physical, but let me tell you, if it had "only" been online, it would have stung just the same. I learned a lot about infidelity in the aftermath of the affair, and I can say with 100% certainty that affairs take place everyday that don't involve sex. Many people will use that as a cop out and try to claim they didn't cheat just because they kept their pants on. If you need to chat, I'm here for you. I know what a rough time this is and I pray you're taking care of yourself.  :big hug smiley sign:

Offline Elizabeth

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Re: Cheating/Infidelity
« Reply #5 on: May 02, 2019, 02:12:39 PM »
Hi Mom56, just checking to see how you are doing? Are things going any better? Is your husband still 'chatting' online. Not sure just what I would do if this happened to me but I think I would consider it 'cheating' in some form. Hope things are getting better for you.

Offline Layla

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Re: Cheating/Infidelity
« Reply #6 on: May 12, 2019, 04:29:13 AM »
How are you doing, Mom56?

I think many men see cheating differently than we do. To me, your spouse is supposed to be your best friend, so if I caught my husband having an emotional affair, it would be just as hurtful to me as a physical affair. I think many men don't consider it cheating unless they cross a physical line, though, and that's not right.

Please let us know how you are. We care.

Empty Nest Moms

Re: Cheating/Infidelity
« Reply #6 on: May 12, 2019, 04:29:13 AM »

Offline Mom56

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Re: Cheating/Infidelity
« Reply #7 on: June 22, 2019, 01:08:07 PM »
THANKS for "checking in' on me
  he is STILL communicating with her though he repeatedly has told me "all contacts have been removed",  i leave my ipad open, you know all my passwords( in the middle of the night , assured he was sound asleep cos he was snoring, i took his iphone to the laundry room but it could only be unlocked by face recognition

i take pics when i see him online via my iphone orof  the monitor( a cousin told me even when i'm incognito-ghost mode- he can see my faceprofile when "i'm using my phone" and then send it to my personal email;  he seems to have discovered these pics in my iphone so now I HAVE DISCOVERED he is using a different email(@fb.com)  & there is the option of "secret conversation"  on the phone, which makes him appear not active :dunno: ;  he is ALWAYS online during the same TIMEFRAMES( 8:30 to  shortly after 9am, 10:30, 11:30- shortly after 1- lunchtime, ;  when he smoked(1 yr smokefree  but it's making the stress of the uncertainty so difficult for me to stop) after we watched Jeopardy, he always went to the garage,  now he goes to his den"to watch his shows(Masters of Flip, Home Improvements)- the tv is on but i think
 that's a decoy because he has his ipad with him and his laptop is in there, too)
my service provider answered "my query" about data usage(voip)  from Costa Rica,an hour ahead of Toronto time:  the day we landed at 2, two more times during the week away at 8pm- CAN'T EVEN GO ON A VACATION :38:
we went camping with friends in May, an hour away , returning at 1:25;  his activity showed 1:30 - 2:15
CaN ANYBODY tell me how to  upload pics from my iphone to the imac

Offline MaryB

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Re: Cheating/Infidelity
« Reply #8 on: June 24, 2019, 01:17:07 PM »
I dont have any electronic answers for you but wanted to let you know my heart goes out to you .   Some people see cheating as no big deal but to us women it is the same as saying we are not good enough.  It cuts to our very soul.  My heart goes out to you because I have felt this sting too and will be the first to say it is not your fault, and nothing you did caused this.  The problem is in the cheater. 
 :big hug smiley sign:

Offline noodle

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Re: Cheating/Infidelity
« Reply #9 on: June 24, 2019, 06:07:27 PM »
CaN ANYBODY tell me how to  upload pics from my iphone to the imac
Hi @Mom56,
I hope this helps: https://mackeeper.com/blog/post/578-how-to-import-photos-iphone-to-mac/ . Also, I am so sorry about what's been happening. I agree with others that men think differently about what's okay when they communicate with women :( Please update soon.

Offline Mom56

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Re: Cheating/Infidelity
« Reply #10 on: June 26, 2019, 11:37:14 PM »
CaN ANYBODY tell me how to  upload pics from my iphone to the imac
Hi @Mom56,
I hope this helps: https://mackeeper.com/blog/post/578-how-to-import-photos-iphone-to-mac/ . Also, I am so sorry about what's been happening. I agree with others that men think differently about what's okay when they communicate with women :( Please update soon.

Offline Mom56

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Re: Cheating/Infidelity
« Reply #11 on: June 26, 2019, 11:40:32 PM »
@Noodle:  Thank you; problem is he set up icloud allowing him to see everything
 @MaryB:  how did you address  your "sting"?

Offline Olive

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Re: Cheating/Infidelity
« Reply #12 on: June 27, 2019, 04:19:31 AM »
Hello there, Mom56.


Different cultures and different beliefs will have different views on infidelity. There are religions, I don't want to mention any specifics, that having several wives is okay. What I hate in our society, no matter how they look at it, is that when "men" do it, it is normal. However, if women do it, then it is a very big deal. I'm not saying that women should do it as well, I'm just pointing out my disappointment.

Offline MaryB

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Re: Cheating/Infidelity
« Reply #13 on: June 27, 2019, 09:19:12 AM »
@Noodle:  Thank you; problem is he set up icloud allowing him to see everything
 @MaryB:  how did you address  your "sting"?


Oh gosh,   it is different on different age groups.. haha When I was young it was yell and scream kind of fights.. My husband is the kind that even when you catch him with his pants down he denies it.  No marriage counseling when he does not have a problem, type.. and then  up to now the most recent one was porn but that felt like cheating too..  and I just boil with rage but dont say a word..  It's always a heart thing with us  and always very painful.  I am not a fan of marriage.  Mine has never been easy.   Good luck to you. 

Empty Nest Moms

Re: Cheating/Infidelity
« Reply #13 on: June 27, 2019, 09:19:12 AM »

 

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