Empty Nest Moms



Netrition

Netrition - 
The Internet's Premier Nutrition Superstore!

You can find many Low Carb products here!

Dixie USA†has many to choose from and a lot of them are very tasty! I've Tried them myself and all are pretty simple to make!

.....Looking to make some cake? Try these....Dixie USA Carb Counters Cupcake & Frosting Mix

.....How about a really good Cinnamon Sugar Substitute? Then you may want to try this one! Sans Sucre Cinnamon Sugar Substitute

.....Need a great zero carb sweetner? Try the the 0.5 size! Last a long time.....EZ-Sweetz Liquid Sucralose

.....This is a great Brand to check out for a large variety of low carb products....Bob's Red Mill

.....And another great Brand with lots of low carb products to check out is.....NOW

You can always do a 'search' for other health foods and such while your there so be sure to check them out!

User Info

 
 
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

.

Author Topic: Married and Lonely  (Read 184 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline MaryB

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1912
Married and Lonely
« on: March 23, 2019, 10:52:22 PM »
What a dangerous combination,  marriage and loneliness!   
Sometimes I get beside myself with frustration.  Married 40 years and lonely.   I cant talk on the phone, or have friends over, or go visit to "just get out"...   because I'm married..  and he does not seem to understand needing companionship.  Argggggg  I get so angry over it.. 
No nothing can be done... I'm just complaining.  Anyone else married but lonely?

Offline haidyl

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 300
Re: Married and Lonely
« Reply #1 on: March 24, 2019, 04:15:44 AM »
I think the whole point of marriage is companionship beyond friendship. We cut off friends and devote our all to this one person and the least they can do is to reciprocate. The fact that you have been together for that long is a pointer to how well you understand each other. It almost feels like a unique approach (that I can't figure out yet) will bring out his soft side.

Empty Nest Moms

Re: Married and Lonely
« Reply #1 on: March 24, 2019, 04:15:44 AM »

Offline Elizabeth

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 302
  • Gender: Female
Re: Married and Lonely
« Reply #2 on: March 24, 2019, 05:26:26 PM »
Well MaryB, not to be to nosey, but why can't you have friends that you can go visit and do things with just to get out of the house? Sounds like you need to and maybe they need to realize that too? Possibly you might be a bit happier around the house if you have some sort of outlet for yourself. Not sure why 'being married" have a lot to do with it. I've gone off for a weekend with girlfriends, have gone over to visit and talked on the phone!


Is it possible to start making some of the changes for yourself? Maybe they might start to take a bit of notice!


Sorry didn't mean to rant but you sound so unhappy. Might just be time to start looking after yourself if they won't do it.


 :hugs:

Offline MaryB

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1912
Re: Married and Lonely
« Reply #3 on: March 24, 2019, 06:03:24 PM »
I think the whole point of marriage is companionship beyond friendship. We cut off friends and devote our all to this one person and the least they can do is to reciprocate. The fact that you have been together for that long is a pointer to how well you understand each other. It almost feels like a unique approach (that I can't figure out yet) will bring out his soft side.


I think we fool ourselves when we are young, that if we do this or that we can make someone love us.  There is no doubt my  husband loves me,  but he is not my friend.  Now I know that sounds stupid but it's the truth.  We have nothing in common.  I use to do everything he wanted,  and I mean for way over 20 years, but he refused to do anything I wanted..  well I didnt like what he liked and got fed up and stopped.  He is totally happy in his little world.  Me,  I'm happier since I am not doing the things I hate, but wish I had someone to share my likes with..   if you understand.

Empty Nest Moms

Re: Married and Lonely
« Reply #3 on: March 24, 2019, 06:03:24 PM »

Offline MaryB

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1912
Re: Married and Lonely
« Reply #4 on: March 24, 2019, 06:06:18 PM »
Well MaryB, not to be to nosey, but why can't you have friends that you can go visit and do things with just to get out of the house? Sounds like you need to and maybe they need to realize that too? Possibly you might be a bit happier around the house if you have some sort of outlet for yourself. Not sure why 'being married" have a lot to do with it. I've gone off for a weekend with girlfriends, have gone over to visit and talked on the phone!


Is it possible to start making some of the changes for yourself? Maybe they might start to take a bit of notice!


Sorry didn't mean to rant but you sound so unhappy. Might just be time to start looking after yourself if they won't do it.


 :hugs:


You rant away friend.   :039:   I appreciate your concern.   I can have friends over, but my house is small and open, no privacy.  He will turn down the set to listen to us then argue with me when they leave about something I said he didnt like..  It's not comfortable to my friends either since they know he is listening. 
I can go out and do and am always usually busy busy busy,  but always for a reason..   if nothing is going on I cant just say I'm bored see you later...  that would cause a rucus.  dont expect you to know unles you lived like this.  I was kinda hoping someone else would jump in  that is in the similar situation because I know there are more like this than not...   :dunno:

Offline Guineagirl

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 118
  • Gender: Female
Re: Married and Lonely
« Reply #5 on: March 25, 2019, 06:53:39 AM »
My house is small too so I understand the privacy issue,  I dread my husband retiring but Iíve warned him Iíll be still going out for my coffees alone and my time to myself I need to recover from been with him, I think Iím a definate introvert x

Offline MaryB

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1912
Re: Married and Lonely
« Reply #6 on: March 25, 2019, 04:19:52 PM »
My house is small too so I understand the privacy issue,  I dread my husband retiring but Iíve warned him Iíll be still going out for my coffees alone and my time to myself I need to recover from been with him, I think Iím a definate introvert x


You are wise.  See I wasnt.  I had no idea it was going to be like this, him stuck up my behind and not doing ANYTHING!   It was a rude awakening!  0_o     
You being prepared wont have the pot holes I fell in! 

Empty Nest Moms

Re: Married and Lonely
« Reply #6 on: March 25, 2019, 04:19:52 PM »

Offline SusanWGF

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 73
  • Gender: Female
Re: Married and Lonely
« Reply #7 on: March 26, 2019, 03:45:31 AM »
I understand where you're coming from. It's kind of like...there's no "rule" that you can't have friends over, go out on a whim, gab on the phone, but you know if you do it will cause problems, so you just don't do it because it's not worth it. It's an unspoken rule. It totally sucks. Trust me, I get it!  :big hug smiley sign:

Offline Jeanine

  • Have faith, it WILL get better!
  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1182
  • Gender: Female
Re: Married and Lonely
« Reply #8 on: March 26, 2019, 12:55:42 PM »
Hi Mary, that does sound discouraging. Sounds like you keep busy but just not doing exactly what you would want to be doing. Have you tried just meeting a friend or two just for lunch? Maybe for a 'meeting' for something to do with the church or something? Just to get out.


I know after so many years you can find yourself in a 'rut' that can be hard to get out of but maybe 'baby steps' until you feel comfortable just going out once in a while for a break, just for yourself.


 :big hug smiley sign: :big hug smiley sign:

Offline MaryB

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1912
Re: Married and Lonely
« Reply #9 on: March 26, 2019, 02:33:31 PM »
I understand where you're coming from. It's kind of like...there's no "rule" that you can't have friends over, go out on a whim, gab on the phone, but you know if you do it will cause problems, so you just don't do it because it's not worth it. It's an unspoken rule. It totally sucks. Trust me, I get it!  :big hug smiley sign:


Exactly Susan!!!  You got it! 

Offline MaryB

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1912
Re: Married and Lonely
« Reply #10 on: March 26, 2019, 02:35:48 PM »
Hi Mary, that does sound discouraging. Sounds like you keep busy but just not doing exactly what you would want to be doing. Have you tried just meeting a friend or two just for lunch? Maybe for a 'meeting' for something to do with the church or something? Just to get out.


I know after so many years you can find yourself in a 'rut' that can be hard to get out of but maybe 'baby steps' until you feel comfortable just going out once in a while for a break, just for yourself.


 :big hug smiley sign: :big hug smiley sign:


He is very selfish and if I were to say I'm going to lunch, he comes back with 'what about me'!  So I have to ask him to come too..  then like above Susan said it's not worth it.  Instead of enjoying a leisure time of talking and visiting it's eat and run.  I do get out all the time but only if there's a reason.. I cant just say I'm going to visit so and so  or going to lunch..  It's just the way it is..  I really thought there'd be more like this situation..  I cant be the only one haha  Can I?  lol
 :big hug smiley sign:

Offline Katy

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 157
  • Gender: Female
Re: Married and Lonely
« Reply #11 on: April 03, 2019, 06:34:49 AM »
I'm so sorry, MaryB! He doesn't even understand the need for girlfriends to go out with? I don't know what I'd do without a few girlfriends. We all need friends, even if our hubbies are great. It's human nature.

I wish I could help somehow. It's the most horrible feeling to be with someone and feel like you're all alone. For whatever it's worth, WE are all here for you - even if we are only virtual friends. I care.

Offline MaryB

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1912
Re: Married and Lonely
« Reply #12 on: April 03, 2019, 03:27:38 PM »
Katy  :cute group hug: you are my friend.  I love all of you all here..  it's been my home for many years now. 
Yeah, he does not want to be alone see,  I dont know why.   I didnt know that when he was working of course.  This is all new revelations since he retired!   :dunno:

Offline SusanWGF

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 73
  • Gender: Female
Re: Married and Lonely
« Reply #13 on: April 04, 2019, 04:14:30 AM »
Mary, please don't feel alone in your situation. Mine is similar. My husband doesn't act as extreme as your going to lunch example, but the whole eavesdropping and interpreting everything the wrong way definitely happens. It's pretty frustrating. Unlike what you've said, I always knew he was this way, I just figured I could "deal with it." After 30 years, it really starts to grind your gears!

Offline MaryB

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1912
Re: Married and Lonely
« Reply #14 on: April 04, 2019, 12:47:35 PM »
Exactly Susan, and mine retiring is what really has made me face up to it.  It's been a learning curve to say the least. 
I'm sitting here now wanting to take a friend to an appointment.  He goes to church with us and he is not 'all there', if you understand.  He is harmless and needs help.  Now I want to take him to check on his food stamps and told him if I can get out I will, BUT  my problem is getting out without a fight or a  lie.  So I'm sitting and rocking and answering emails just waiting because that man is suppose to call around 2.  I hate that this has to be a problem. 

Empty Nest Moms

Re: Married and Lonely
« Reply #14 on: April 04, 2019, 12:47:35 PM »

 

Copyright © Empty Nest Moms