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Netrition

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Author Topic: Working Toward Similar Goals  (Read 57 times)

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Offline Layla

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Working Toward Similar Goals
« on: January 02, 2019, 03:51:13 AM »
We had a couple of marriage counseling sessions, and the therapist asked us to think about what we'd like to get out of counseling. So, in our second session, my husband said he'd like to work on our communication. He actually said he'd like to spend more time with me, but since we don't communicate well right now, he often feels uncomfortable with the silence. I was really surprised to hear this. These are some of the goals I'd like to achieve, too. I wish he had told me this before now, but I'm glad he feels comfortable enough to share his feelings with our therapist so that we can work toward these goals.

Offline JustUs2

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Re: Working Toward Similar Goals
« Reply #1 on: January 02, 2019, 10:28:44 AM »

That's great news, Layla!  How are you two working on your communication?  Do you have exercises to do at home?  I think having a neutral third-party to listen to your issues helps a great deal.  There's no emotional pressure or feeling of annoyance when an objective party gives suggestions.

I sure appreciate your opening up about your marriage and counseling.  I'm watching your threads like a hawk since my son and his wife are struggling but won't consent to therapy yet.  I'm hoping that changes.  You make me less ashamed to admit that my husband and I are arguing about financially helping our son.




Empty Nest Moms

Re: Working Toward Similar Goals
« Reply #1 on: January 02, 2019, 10:28:44 AM »

Offline MaryB

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Re: Working Toward Similar Goals
« Reply #2 on: January 03, 2019, 09:47:06 PM »
It's fantastic.  Just the fact your husband went with you says he cares.. 

Offline Indiana

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Re: Working Toward Similar Goals
« Reply #3 on: January 07, 2019, 06:05:20 AM »
.......since we don't communicate well right now, he often feels uncomfortable with the silence. I was really surprised to hear this...........


He is uncomfortale with the silence while you are surprised when the truth comes out. I must say that you both need to get in that car and start driving. Those two realizations should be what it takes to jump-start your marraige.

Empty Nest Moms

Re: Working Toward Similar Goals
« Reply #3 on: January 07, 2019, 06:05:20 AM »

Offline Layla

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Re: Working Toward Similar Goals
« Reply #4 on: January 07, 2019, 06:48:55 AM »
I am so sorry to hear about your son's marital problems, JustUs2. I hope they will at least try some counseling at some point. The right therapist can really help direct conversations, and it's really helpful to have an objective person listen.

We are working on using more, "I," statements when expressing our feelings rather than using attacking statements. We often catch ourselves falling back into old patterns, but when we notice, we stop and try expressing ourselves in a different way. I'm sure it will take a lot of practice for it to stick!

Empty Nest Moms

Re: Working Toward Similar Goals
« Reply #4 on: January 07, 2019, 06:48:55 AM »

 

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