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Author Topic: My Gradual Empty Nest Journey  (Read 149 times)

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Offline SusanWGF

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My Gradual Empty Nest Journey
« on: December 10, 2018, 01:44:41 AM »
 :sign0144:

Hi everyone. I'm so glad I found this forum. I'm up late, unable to sleep, thinking about the road that lies ahead of me without any of my children at home. I suppose I should start by giving you a little background information.

I'm 59 years old. I have 5 children and 3 (soon to be 4) grandchildren. The age gap between the oldest and youngest is 14 years, so that's why I describe it as a "gradual" empty nest in the title of my post. When my oldest left home for university (quite a long time ago now) I was quite anxious at first but had my other 4 children to sort of distract me from worrying about her too much. As the years went by, watching my children leave home one by one, I began to dread the day that my youngest would go on his own way.

That day came last month. Prior to completely moving out he was living at home half of the time and close to his university the rest of the time. I thought I was prepared for him to move out, but its hit me a lot harder than I anticipated. He's now several hours away and isn't the type to call and chat. I constantly wonder if he's doing ok; handling his finances properly, eating healthy, being safe in general. He's 22 years old and very responsible so logically I know my worries are unfounded but I can't seem to stop the stream of thoughts running through my head. I would be totally embarrassed if he knew I felt this way so I just keep it to myself and try to think about other things.

Visits with my grandchildren (who thankfully live close-by) help me cope with the negative thoughts. They have become the light of my life and I'm delighted every time they come to see me. The only problem is, when they leave, I feel the pangs of emptiness even more sharply and the incessant worrying fires right back up. I feel like a shadow of my former self right now. My hope is that by talking to others in a similar situation I can get the support I need to move past the negativity building up inside me.

Thanks for reading my words. It helps to talk to people who understand how I'm feeling.

Empty Nest Moms

My Gradual Empty Nest Journey
« on: December 10, 2018, 01:44:41 AM »

Offline girlchild34

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Re: My Gradual Empty Nest Journey
« Reply #1 on: December 10, 2018, 03:51:02 AM »
I think the situation at hand is worsened because your son isn't the type to text or call but luckily, your grandchildren help to push away the negative thoughts. As much as it may seem hard for you, talking to your son about how you feel could help. Also tell him that it would help if he constantly kept in touch.

Offline Layla

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Re: My Gradual Empty Nest Journey
« Reply #2 on: December 10, 2018, 06:26:14 AM »
Welcome to the forum! I have found this forum to be very supportive, and I hope that this place can help you cope as you deal with an empty nest.

I constantly worry about my daughter, too. Like your son, she is responsible, so I know logically she will be okay, but that doesn't stop the worry thoughts. Distractions definitely help.

Are you crafty? Maybe you could focus on making some gifts for your grandchildren for the holidays this year. It will distract you, and I'm sure they would love to have something handmade by their grandma!

Feel free to talk with us anytime. We are all here to listen and support you however we can.

Empty Nest Moms

Re: My Gradual Empty Nest Journey
« Reply #2 on: December 10, 2018, 06:26:14 AM »

Offline SusanWGF

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Re: My Gradual Empty Nest Journey
« Reply #3 on: December 15, 2018, 02:48:19 PM »
Thank you so much for your replies. I'm feeling a bit down so I popped by here to see if anyone listened to what I had to say. It helps to know I've been heard!
Layla, I'm not overly crafty. However, I think your suggestion is great. All of my grandchildren are quite young so they're still forgiving if something isn't spectacular.

I hope everyone is having a great holiday season so far.

Empty Nest Moms

Re: My Gradual Empty Nest Journey
« Reply #3 on: December 15, 2018, 02:48:19 PM »

 

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