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Author Topic: Communication Difficulties  (Read 1755 times)

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Offline Layla

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Communication Difficulties
« on: October 24, 2018, 03:05:53 AM »
Since our daughter left for college, I've found it hard to communicate with my husband. Our lives revolved around our daughter. Sure, we talked about work sometimes and such, but a lot of our conversations were about our daughter. Now that she's gone, we aren't talking as much. My husband has been staying at work late a lot, and many times in the evening, he just sits in front of the television or goes out to work on projects in the garage. I feel like he's avoiding me. I feel alone a lot in the evening hours and wish we could just sit and talk sometimes.


Have any of you experienced something similar? How do you get the communication going again?

Offline haidyl

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Re: Communication Difficulties
« Reply #1 on: October 24, 2018, 06:05:03 AM »
Since our daughter left for college, I've found it hard to communicate with my husband. Our lives revolved around our daughter. Sure, we talked about work sometimes and such, but a lot of our conversations were about our daughter. Now that she's gone, we aren't talking as much. My husband has been staying at work late a lot, and many times in the evening, he just sits in front of the television or goes out to work on projects in the garage. I feel like he's avoiding me. I feel alone a lot in the evening hours and wish we could just sit and talk sometimes.

Have any of you experienced something similar? How do you get the communication going again?
That can be a tricky situation to find oneself in but have you tried to mention this to him? I suppose that it would make things much better if he spent a better part of the evening talking and sharing pleasantries with you. He could also be struggling with the void left with your daughter's departure to college.

Empty Nest Moms

Re: Communication Difficulties
« Reply #1 on: October 24, 2018, 06:05:03 AM »

Offline EllieM

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Re: Communication Difficulties
« Reply #2 on: October 27, 2018, 08:12:06 AM »
Yes, we kind of live our separate lives. I got pregnant quite fast after we met so I realize now that we never really had a lot in common and our children were our lives. We never communicated much or did things together, which has become a bit of a problem, but it seems that if we just our own thing, we're doing okay.

Offline Mom56

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Re: Communication Difficulties
« Reply #3 on: December 06, 2018, 12:26:57 AM »
i read either here,earlier, or in an article:  husbands' projects are THEIR way of coping with this new life change; i'm married to a handyman who has always enjoyed building decks and sheds ;  now in our forever home which already has a deck, he's built a storage shed with ramp(for lawnmower&summer patio furniture, snow blower- guess where we live lol) turned into tiki hut but he's envisioning how he can IMPROVE the deck and the double garage to accommodate boxes on shelves in an organized manner;  he's built a kittty-corner workbench in the garage-for outdoor/car repairs work and last weeekend he built a second workshop in the furnace room- for indoor work(outdoor and indoor tools, respectively, are easily accessible)  i know where you're coming from:  can you show an interest to involve yourself in his projects- ask how does this work, what does this do, show me_ teach me_


 i agree with the above advice of telling him how you'd like to spend more time TOGETHER and get to know each other again- when i told dh i've focused on our son(23) and would like for us to spend time focusing on each other, surprisingly he expressed the very same sentiment- he's been the one iniiating movie nights, short trips(like a tourist)


 What hobbies do YOU have that you can invite him to be a part of? 
 Advice from my bestie, emptynester themselves, once week  have a date night-write it on the calendar,  join clubs where you'll meet other couples(expanding your circle of friends)

Empty Nest Moms

Re: Communication Difficulties
« Reply #3 on: December 06, 2018, 12:26:57 AM »

Offline Bev1960

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Re: Communication Difficulties
« Reply #4 on: December 06, 2018, 05:43:05 PM »
Way to go Mom56. Sounds like you have a good handle on things now with hubby. Keep it up, especially those 'date nights'. It can be hard keeping things going after so many years but it can still be fun if you put a little effort into it if need be.  :039:

Offline MomOfTwo

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Re: Communication Difficulties
« Reply #5 on: December 06, 2018, 06:33:17 PM »
I like Mom56's strategy of "show me... teach me...". This method will help our husbands feel wanted by showing our interest in what they are doing. However, men are typically doers and not talkers, so a few might not like being bothered while they are busy with their projects.

Empty Nest Moms

Re: Communication Difficulties
« Reply #5 on: December 06, 2018, 06:33:17 PM »

 

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