Compromises

[MomOfTwo]

I think (because this might not apply to everyone) that compromises are the key to a successful marriage. We make compromises with our partners in order to see each other's point. The question I have is how far should we make compromises? Sometimes I felt like I've compromised too much that I already lost the person that I am before the marriage.

[littleone]

You're asking a tough question. Some will say that you're going too far if you feel like you've changed too much. I look at it differently. Thinking about the family a lot, especially our only son, I feel like I shouldn't fail him by putting myself or my wife first. It's just not that simple for me.

[haidyl]

Compromises are the key to any successful marriage and how far this can go will depend on the couples themselves. A lot of what I see nowadays are people who neither listen to nor talk to each other. I am always bewildered by the fact that people with different personalities always seem to attract each other. Has anyone observed this as well?

[MomOfTwo]

@littleone, I like asking hard questions because it makes me grow and I also learn from your answers. I understand that we should change for the better, but sometimes I miss the freedom I had before I even got married.


@haidyl, opposite attracts as they say. As for me though, I see it as we complement each other, meaning we fill up the gaps each of us have for us to become a better person.

[littleone]

Opposites attract each other, but the differences also become the obstacle in compromising. Those who decide to part ways often say that they are too different to be together.

A better person should always be the goal. If we feel that we're getting away from that goal, perhaps we need to make even more compromises.

[Layla]

I can relate, MomOfTwo. I feel like I've compromised so much that I've sort of lost myself. I've decided that couples counseling would really benefit our marriage, but I'm afraid to approach my husband about it because I'm afraid he won't want to work on our marriage like I do. I don't know what I'll do if he refuses to come with me.

Maybe you can start to find yourself again. Start to say, "no," to little things when you want to say no. Assert your feelings a little. I know it isn't easy, so start small and see how that goes. You can do it! Wishing you the very best of luck.

[MomOfTwo]

Maybe you can start to find yourself again. Start to say, "no," to little things when you want to say no. Assert your feelings a little. I know it isn't easy, so start small and see how that goes. You can do it! Wishing you the very best of luck.

That is my dilemma, Layla. My husband can easily throw it back to me and say that "I'm going back to the old me". I guess I have to be myself when I'm alone and that I mean I need some time going out to the mall. Does anybody want to go with me?

[Mom56]

hubby expressed he noticed i'm happier when i go out once a week to the mall- but i don't like to shop unless i need to buy something ( i have lots of decor to feed my decorating hobby and an updated wardrobe)- maybe go to the mall just to browse, join clubs, take classes that feed your interest