How to find new friends?

[David]

This question is more for my wife, because her close friends were made through our daughter's activities.  Just chatting with other moms while getting the kids.  I don't think they did a whole out together outside of those activities because there just wasn't extra time.  How do adults find new friends?  It sounds like a silly question, but she's tried some activities like book clubs and they were already close friends with one another and didn't seem open to befriending her.  So, how does someone find another lonely person out there to chat and do activities with?

[Katy]

I'm so sorry your wife didn't feel welcome at the book clubs. It's sad when a group already has a tight bond and isn't open to new people joining. That's happened to me before, too. It's not a good feeling.

Has she tried any Meetup groups? Those can be hit or miss, sadly, too, but they might be worth a try.

If your wife is spiritual, she could check your local church, temple, etc. for events. I know a lot of churches have community-building events to encourage members to get to know one another.

I'll try to think of some more ideas. It is definitely not as easy to make friends as adults as it was when we were kids!

[David]

A group thing sounds like it could work.  She found the book club in our local newspaper and so far, they seem to be the only group that gets together often.  Do you know where else she might look?  Thanks for the help, Katy.  I hate seeing her lonely.  She and my daughter were two peas in a pod and our daughter's leaving is hitting her the hardest.  Visiting the kiddo helped and now that my wife is interested in making new friends I really want to push her to get out there and do it.  She's given up so much for the rest of us, it's her turn to have some fun.

[littleone]

My wife and I are going through something similar. As adults, we can sense when others are being superficially friendly, so we draw ourselves back into the comfort zone when that happens. For now, we're just trying to get along with our neighbors a bit more. Have you and your wife tried it, David?

Katy, what do you usually talk about with new friends?