What was your biggest worry?

[cherie]

We are, without doubt, enjoying the nest being empty. However, this isn't a point that we easily got to. My husband seemed to let go really fast and he was always urging me to move on as the kids were now adults. It took quite some time to get convinced that somehow, they would sail through on their own.

Now, my biggest worry was having to redo all these steps when the kids came visiting. The very first time they came around, I started getting worried that I would be unable to get over the 'loneliness' once they left. So I kept asking them to stay a bit longer, when all I was worried about was the wreck I would possibly turn into, once I was left alone!

To date, that has always been my biggest fear!

[David]

I'm with you, cherie  After visiting our kiddo, I'm feeling better about our status as empty nesters, but having her visit on holidays might make things tough again.  I'm trying to be positive about it.  It's like slowly getting an empty nest, instead of going through it all at once.  It gives us a chance to adapt to the changes.  At least that's my positive spin on the whole thing.  Hang in there, cherie.  We're going to get through it!

[Katy]

I can relate, cherrie. The first few holidays/vacations our daughter came home from college were wonderful, but I felt so lonely after she left again. I eventually got used to it, but the first couple of years were rough.

[cherie]

Katy, I used to think that such feelings were only unique to me, until it hit that almost every parent somehow struggles through this. The important bit is to be able to get over it. David, when she visits, you may find it a bit rough but this is perfectly natural. In fact, you should let yourself feel those feelings but don't get stuck there.