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Author Topic: Getting past this phase  (Read 1328 times)

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Offline cherie

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Getting past this phase
« on: September 26, 2018, 02:33:28 PM »
Just the other day, I was looking back and trying to figure out how it felt getting through the empty nest and I couldn't recall the moment I finally transitioned. It seemed like a gradual process that culminated in understanding the circumstances, and adapting to the eventualities.

Did you ever wake up one morning and realized that you were back to your happy self again? How long (on average) did it take you to overcome this feeling and looking back now, what would have been done differently?

Offline Bewitched

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Re: Getting past this phase
« Reply #1 on: September 26, 2018, 10:48:41 PM »
It's definitely a gradual process. There was no magic moment for me. There are times that I'm still not sure that I'm completely over that feeling. It doesn't help that one of my sons moves in and out of our house fairly regularly.

There were a couple of years that we had no children at the house. I remember the first six months being very difficult. The bad moments became less frequent after that and slowly the pain transitioned into being able to fondly remember when all of my children were at home.

Looking back, I don't know what I could have done differently. I don't know if I would have done anything differently. Everyone has the right to grieve a loss and we all grieve on our own time in our own ways.

Now, my son is just about to move out and we're more than ready to get our lives back to ourselves - as much as our lives are ever really our own after children anyway.

Offline cherie

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Re: Getting past this phase
« Reply #2 on: September 27, 2018, 01:50:23 PM »
Indeed it is gradual because it took us time to get used to the quiet nights and just like in your case, the situation was never any better with our children visiting frequently. Whenever they left, we would be back to square one (again).

As much as I do not regret the course that this journey has taken, I do wish that I had easily figured out when my children needed some space to explore and get used to the newly-found 'freedom'. When they didn't (immediately) pick calls, I at times took it to mean that I was being ignored. Had I known better, it would have been an easier transition, without doubt.

 

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