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Author Topic: Last child is a senior  (Read 200 times)

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Offline Almost empty

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Last child is a senior
« on: September 18, 2018, 06:05:15 PM »
Hi. Iím new. My youngest is in her high school senior year. I feel like Iím already grieving. Iím lethargic and not as motivated to embrace and enjoy her year as I had planned. Iíve been home 20 years. Iíve pulled back from social things over the past two years. I have a long list of home and family projects but I canít seem to start any of them. Sheís in band so sheís gone until dinner each day. I feel like a bad example to her not having a job and letting this lethargy get to me. Sheís a great girl and itís not her fault. I have two cats. One is very affectionate so thatís fun and helpful. I just canít seem to get going and have never felt as socially disconnected as I am currently and not interested in it in person really. I feel this looming transition and I just want to get on with it. If I do 2-3 tasks in a day I feel accomplished :( Iíve never been Suzy supermom so these feelings are not what I expected. I hope this post isnít too long. Thanks

Empty Nest Moms

Last child is a senior
« on: September 18, 2018, 06:05:15 PM »

Offline MaryB

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Re: Last child is a senior
« Reply #1 on: September 18, 2018, 08:30:53 PM »
Hello and welcome to the family, Almost Empty... :big hug smiley sign:
Your post is not to long,  you write as much as you want.  We're here for you.  I totally understand your feeling sad for the upcoming empty nest.  I hate that you are hurting already, but I do understand.  It's a fact of life that nothing stays the same and this is another stage in your daughter's life, but that does not mean we have to like it..  we just have to accept it...  You have to pull yourself up and move though, you cannot give in to the depression.  Your daughter will still be in your life, but the relationship will change is all.  I know!  I know!  I dont like it either...  but we have to accept it.  You come on and talk because we've all been thru it or are going thru it and we understand.  I hope someone can say something to comfort you...   :big hug smiley sign: :big hug smiley sign: :big hug smiley sign: :big hug smiley sign: :big hug smiley sign: :big hug smiley sign:

Offline Almost empty

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Re: Last child is a senior
« Reply #2 on: September 19, 2018, 12:07:09 AM »
Thanks Mary B.
It helps to talk it through. She deserves me being my best self especially while she is still home. I havenít exercised as regularly as I used to so Iím sure that will help my thinking. Some encouragement and accountability for that would be helpful. Iím actually very excited for my daughter and love her coming into her own. She needs the separation to see her potential. I donít live through her or micromanage her. Weíre a pretty laid back family. Iíve encouraged that we go ahead and reflect on her childhood regularly by looking at pictures and talking about memories. Itís therapeutic for both of us. I think sheíll do well in college. Tomorrow I need to order her senior pictures and take care of some errands. As a graduation present Iím waiting for the Dr Seuss book Oh the Places you will go to come in so I can start getting signatures from all of her previous school teachers before May. Iíve started taking Serenol. Iím 46. Itís only been a month and Iíve read it takes at least two months to start calming menopause symptoms. Iím hopeful about that. Good night and thanks for the support.

Empty Nest Moms

Re: Last child is a senior
« Reply #2 on: September 19, 2018, 12:07:09 AM »

Offline Katy

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Re: Last child is a senior
« Reply #3 on: September 20, 2018, 06:12:41 AM »
I'm so sorry to hear you're struggling so much. Anticipatory grief is common and normal, but I hate that you are having to deal with it. Change is never easy.

Can you start trying to form some social connections now? I wish I had started trying to reconnect with people before my daughter left home. I know it's hard to motivate yourself to do that when you don't feel like doing anything, but I think you'll feel better when you can connect with some friends - maybe even some friends who can relate to what you are going through.

Hang in there, and always write as much as you want. We're all here for you.

Offline MaryB

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Re: Last child is a senior
« Reply #4 on: September 20, 2018, 01:57:54 PM »
Katy's right, Almost Empty..  we're here for you!   :big hug smiley sign:

Empty Nest Moms

Re: Last child is a senior
« Reply #4 on: September 20, 2018, 01:57:54 PM »

Offline Almost empty

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Re: Last child is a senior
« Reply #5 on: September 20, 2018, 11:04:50 PM »
Thank you
Iím exploring some options

Offline Bewitched

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Re: Last child is a senior
« Reply #6 on: September 22, 2018, 05:25:43 PM »
Welcome, Almost Empty!

I swear, sometimes the pain we feel in anticipation of an event can be even worse than when it actually happens. It's completely natural though! I had a very similar experience, especially with the lethargy and diminished social connections. For me, the diminished social connections were the biggest issue. Once I really started reconnecting with people, other things began to fall in place. It was hard for me to get the drive to even do that but once I did, things slowly got easier. I started reaching out slowly on social media and worked my way up. That's what worked for me at least!

Empty Nest Moms

Re: Last child is a senior
« Reply #6 on: September 22, 2018, 05:25:43 PM »

 

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