Inviting Friends in Our House

[Yosita]

I have no problem with my children's friends coming to our house. What I don't like is when these friends of theirs become too comfortable enough to treat our home like it was theirs. How should I tell this matter to my children and their friends?

[MaryB]

What ages are they?

[MomOfTwo]

I have the same question as MaryB. My sons were not that outgoing, so they had a few friends growing up. I had no problem with their friends coming to our house because most of them had good behavior.

[David]

Yosita, are they basically eating you out of house and home and leaving lots of messes for you to clean?  That's what it sounds like from here.

[Mom56]

i would tell them that THEY are responsible for their friends' behaviour( when ds was 15, we left him alone for a weekend to go camping- we were able to TRUST our precocious son, providing him with the availability of the next-door neighbour ,in case of emergency or any assistance ,if needed);  dh had told him if  any of his beer ,in the bar fridge ,in the garage was missing, HE would be responsible, if our house rules were ignored,HE would be responsible, and i know that you will make sure your friends' abide by our expectations because YOU will be responsible for their behaviour


Also ask them to explain ,politely, to the friends what you expect(the same expectations of your kids) ;  when the friends are over you say "we don't do that here, that's not acceptable in our house"

[EllieM]

This is a difficult subject I think because in my house my kids' friends were always welcome to feel right at home, take anything out the fridge they wanted or needed. Never had to ask for something to drink. They also never abused this "hospitality." They weren't over that much but when they were, they would take one or two drinks. I think it's a difficult topic, but maybe try and talk to your children?

[MomOfTwo]

I hope everything is okay with you Yosita.


If the children are grade schoolers, then it is easier to talk to them compare to teenagers. Maybe you can tell your children the clear rules of your home and everyone should abide by it.