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Author Topic: Grandchildren and disciplining them  (Read 121 times)

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Offline Gerri

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Grandchildren and disciplining them
« on: August 31, 2018, 07:20:49 AM »
I have a couple of lovely grandchildren who I love dearly, but I have gotten into some small arguments with my daughter over discipline, or in her opinion, lack thereof, on my behalf. When I watch my grandchildren or they're over for the weekend, I don't really discipline them because I feel like grandmothers are there to spoil and not necessarily discipline them. But I do understand when she says she would like them to get disciplined. I just have a hard time with that! Do you discipline your grandchildren, and if so, in what way?

Empty Nest Moms

Grandchildren and disciplining them
« on: August 31, 2018, 07:20:49 AM »

Offline ava

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Re: Grandchildren and disciplining them
« Reply #1 on: September 01, 2018, 08:08:33 AM »
Most grandparents are always in a dilemma like yours and maybe your daughter compares this kind of treatment to what it was when they were young. I think the point here is that we should correct them when we spot some wrong doing, with necessarily scolding them. How that is achieved, totally varies.

Offline Gerri

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Re: Grandchildren and disciplining them
« Reply #2 on: September 02, 2018, 06:32:51 AM »
Thanks for your input, ava. It is just hard to find the balance, because I think my time of raising children is over and my daughter should raise her children, but on the other hand I don't want the grandchildren to feel like they can do anything they want when they're with me.

Empty Nest Moms

Re: Grandchildren and disciplining them
« Reply #2 on: September 02, 2018, 06:32:51 AM »

Offline MaryB

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Re: Grandchildren and disciplining them
« Reply #3 on: September 02, 2018, 07:33:10 AM »
Is there that part deep down that wants them to love you so fear of saying no?  I'm going thru that with my grown son right now!   :(

Offline Layla

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Re: Grandchildren and disciplining them
« Reply #4 on: October 24, 2018, 03:21:41 AM »
I don't have any grandchildren yet, but I imagine it's a very difficult position to be in because you want to be the grandma who spoils the kids when they come over. You want to be one of those people your grandchildren are always excited to visit!

I do see your daughter's point, though. Sometimes discipline is necessary. Going to grandma's house doesn't give kids a license to do things they know aren't right.

I often used time-outs with my daughter when she was young. After a short time-out, I'd sit down with her and talk with her about what she had done and why it wasn't appropriate or acceptable. I always tried to make sure she understood why that particular behavior wasn't going to be tolerated. I think the goal of discipline should be to help our kids/grandkids learn how to be good people, to learn right from wrong, and to encourage them to do the right thing.

Empty Nest Moms

Re: Grandchildren and disciplining them
« Reply #4 on: October 24, 2018, 03:21:41 AM »

 

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