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Author Topic: Helping them choose a spouse  (Read 279 times)

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Offline ava

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Helping them choose a spouse
« on: August 26, 2018, 03:52:19 AM »
We all know how this goes; the kids are off to college, finish school, get a job and start serious relationships. My husband and I always remained open-minded but were inherently trying to influence their choice of partners. Did it always work? Not at all! The heart wants what it wants and at times we can do nothing about it.

We can only help in guiding our children to settle down with responsible members of the society.

Offline MaryB

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Re: Helping them choose a spouse
« Reply #1 on: August 26, 2018, 07:59:44 AM »
This topic is very close to my heart because it was the woman my son fell in love with that broke up our family.  All I can say is I hope it never happens to any of you.

Empty Nest Moms

Re: Helping them choose a spouse
« Reply #1 on: August 26, 2018, 07:59:44 AM »

Offline Joann

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Re: Helping them choose a spouse
« Reply #2 on: August 29, 2018, 09:45:19 AM »
I think that's the best we can do: to be patient, to raise them to be self-respecting people who are able to make their own decisions. We have to remember that as moms (or dads) we don't always know what is right for our children, even if we may think so. We don't see 90% of what a person is like.

Offline cherie

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Re: Helping them choose a spouse
« Reply #3 on: August 29, 2018, 01:49:41 PM »
This topic is very close to my heart because it was the woman my son fell in love with that broke up our family.  All I can say is I hope it never happens to any of you.
Hey MaryB, I think I have come across the thread where you talk about this (before) and I agree that it isn't something that most people can handle. All I pray for is that your son will come back to the little boy he once was.

Empty Nest Moms

Re: Helping them choose a spouse
« Reply #3 on: August 29, 2018, 01:49:41 PM »

Offline MerryMe

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Re: Helping them choose a spouse
« Reply #4 on: August 31, 2018, 02:38:56 AM »
MaryB, come and join me for my weekend window shopping then tell me all about the girl that broke up your family. Seriously though, I'm so sorry that you've gone into such experience. I hope your son will realize one day that blood is thicker than water.

Offline MaryB

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Re: Helping them choose a spouse
« Reply #5 on: August 31, 2018, 01:40:00 PM »
 Cherie and MerryMe...  you are the best!  All the support and love I've gotten from this forum has kept me thru it all, and even now. 


 :huggingsmiley:

Offline Marie

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Re: Helping them choose a spouse
« Reply #6 on: September 02, 2018, 04:47:39 AM »
It's difficult to stay out of our kids' relationships because we want the best for them. I generally try to stay out of my kids' relationships, but I had to say something to my daughter about her boyfriend's disrespectful behavior.

We have to trust that our kids can make their own decisions as responsible adults. It's not always an easy thing to do, though.

Empty Nest Moms

Re: Helping them choose a spouse
« Reply #6 on: September 02, 2018, 04:47:39 AM »

Offline Elizabeth

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Re: Helping them choose a spouse
« Reply #7 on: September 04, 2018, 03:24:36 PM »
Oh my been there done that! There's been many times when we have held our breath when one of the kids was in a relationship hoping it wouldn't last! Thankfully they are both in good ones right now (hope they last) so will see where it goes from here. :)


I love window shopping, can I come???  :039:

Offline MaryB

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Re: Helping them choose a spouse
« Reply #8 on: September 04, 2018, 06:25:37 PM »
Come on Elizabeth!  Always room for you!   :039:

Offline MerryMe

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Re: Helping them choose a spouse
« Reply #9 on: September 04, 2018, 11:41:43 PM »
There were times when I thought about arranged marriages. I'm so glad that our culture gives us the freedom to choose who to live with. We can still influence our kids on what type of partner they can have for them to have a happy home in the future.
Come and join us next time, Elizabeth.

Offline MaryB

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Re: Helping them choose a spouse
« Reply #10 on: September 06, 2018, 05:29:08 PM »
Merryme,   I thought of that too, and funny because growing up I thought how crazy and mean that was to have someone pick your mate, then when my son was running off with this girl that I knew was wrong for him, that didnt sound so bad after all.  I still would not do it, but yet I did think about it and it didnt seem as crazy afterall.

Offline MerryMe

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Re: Helping them choose a spouse
« Reply #11 on: November 12, 2018, 04:03:34 AM »
Hello again MaryB. I've been away for quite some time, so I would like to know how you are. How's your son doing as well? Is he still with that girl? I do hope that your son will realize that what you are doing for him is all out of love.

Offline cherie

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Re: Helping them choose a spouse
« Reply #12 on: November 13, 2018, 12:17:08 PM »
There were times when I thought about arranged marriages. I'm so glad that our culture gives us the freedom to choose who to live with. We can still influence our kids on what type of partner they can have for them to have a happy home in the future.
Come and join us next time, Elizabeth.
This makes the two of us. Whereas I have nothing against the various cultures that allow it, my greatest fear about arranged marriages is the possibility of things not working out in the long run. Any parent's wish is to see their children in flourishing and fruitful relationships.

Offline MerryMe

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Re: Helping them choose a spouse
« Reply #13 on: November 19, 2018, 05:22:04 PM »
This makes the two of us. Whereas I have nothing against the various cultures that allow it, my greatest fear about arranged marriages is the possibility of things not working out in the long run. Any parent's wish is to see their children in flourishing and fruitful relationships.


My husband told me something last night as we were discussing the things I've shared in this forum. He said that in some Eastern European countries, there are young ladies that will be abducted for the purpose of marriage. It sounds terrible to live in such a society.

Empty Nest Moms

Re: Helping them choose a spouse
« Reply #13 on: November 19, 2018, 05:22:04 PM »

 

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