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Author Topic: When you want to break the silence but can't!  (Read 263 times)

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Offline ava

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When you want to break the silence but can't!
« on: August 13, 2018, 02:47:07 PM »
Whenever my children go quiet for a long time, I always assume that the busy lifestyle has taken a toll on them, or that they are trying to work out something, on their own. Have you ever been in a situation where there was so much silence that you felt a strong urge to break it? What was your reason for not doing so?

Offline Marie

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Re: When you want to break the silence but can't!
« Reply #1 on: August 15, 2018, 04:06:56 AM »
I confronted my daughter's boyfriend about his disrespectful behavior toward her, and she hasn't spoken to me in a few weeks now.  I hate the silence, but in this situation, I want to give her her space and let her work it out on her own.  I know that she will come around sooner or later.  It really pains me, of course.  I love her so much, but I know I can't push her, or I'll end up doing more harm than good in this situation.

Offline MomOfTwo

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Re: When you want to break the silence but can't!
« Reply #2 on: August 16, 2018, 11:50:26 PM »
I'm sorry to hear that Marie. Sometimes, we take the harder route of being a concerned parent rather than seeing our children getting hurt.
My sons talk to us every now and then. We don't set schedules for us to talk, so I don't see a situation as my sons being quiet when we haven't talked for some time.

Offline Joann

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Re: When you want to break the silence but can't!
« Reply #3 on: August 19, 2018, 01:15:26 AM »
I try not to, because I know my children have busy lives of themselves. They're at an age where they have a very active social life, children of their own, so they simply have more things to do on a daily basis whereas I have so much time on my hands, it may seem like I haven't talked to my children in forever, when it maybe has only been a week. Keep patience, maybe shoot them a text message asking how they're doing or write down what you've been up to, so you can leave it up to them to contact you.

Offline littleone

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Re: When you want to break the silence but can't!
« Reply #4 on: November 07, 2018, 08:32:26 AM »
Keep patience, maybe shoot them a text message asking how they're doing or write down what you've been up to, so you can leave it up to them to contact you.
This is what I usually do. When our son traveled with his friends, we sent him a photo of his favorite food we made at home. That got the conversation rolling in a more casual tone. We tried to avoid bluntly asking what he was up to all the time.
He has never left home for a very long time, though, so I think the college will be our biggest challenge yet.

Offline CountryMom

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Re: When you want to break the silence but can't!
« Reply #5 on: December 24, 2018, 12:31:15 PM »
I'm lucky in the fact that my children usually reach out to me in regular intervals. If I feel it's been awhile, I shoot them an online message as I feel calling is a bit more intrusive. If there was a long period of silence I would do the same (message them online or send a text to their phone).

Offline girlchild34

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Re: When you want to break the silence but can't!
« Reply #6 on: December 25, 2018, 12:36:26 AM »
I confronted my daughter's boyfriend about his disrespectful behavior toward her, and she hasn't spoken to me in a few weeks now.  I hate the silence, but in this situation, I want to give her her space and let her work it out on her own.  I know that she will come around sooner or later.  It really pains me, of course.  I love her so much, but I know I can't push her, or I'll end up doing more harm than good in this situation.
Had you first spoken to your daughter and found out if you were reading from the same script? Lovebirds can be so engrossed in love to the extent of not seeing what other people see in a relationship. Let her take time to work it out; I am sure she will start speaking to you, if she hasn't already started doing so.

Offline 4am coffee

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Re: When you want to break the silence but can't!
« Reply #7 on: January 30, 2019, 01:08:44 PM »
Sometimes just saying "Good Morning" to your child when you're passing in the hall is enough sometimes. Our young adults just want to make their way bad enough that, sometimes, they feel like talking to us would get in the way of that goal.

They still love us, but they WANT to fly.

Offline mkendrick

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Re: When you want to break the silence but can't!
« Reply #8 on: February 16, 2019, 12:16:46 AM »
My kids take after me and are quite social and talkative. That led to a few rules broken and a few arguments but the good part of that is we never went long without speaking. I'm sorry to hear that you're going through that. Although I do think sometimes silence can be a tool as MaryB mentioned with her daughter. Giving her the time to get past the initial knee jerk reaction and realize that the confrontation was a good thing. You were sticking up for her after all.

 

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