Sometimes, I think the breakdown is perception. I had an interesting conversation with my son a couple of months ago. He too is not great in the communication department. I finally just stopped wanting it and moved on. When I hear, I'm happy and respond, but I don't wish it anymore and my life is better for that.
I love love love his wife and I think she loves us too. My son was a momma's boy to some degree. We were really close, but he definitely didn't lean on me or need me. We talked almost daily before they got close. So it was very hard when he threw me over for her. But, if he were going to, I can't think of anyone I would want to have taken my place but her.
We were talking a couple of months ago one afternoon...it was just a chatty convo and I asked if he had ever thought of moving out of state in order to better his career and earning potential. He looked aghast at me and said - you would WANT me to move away? I said, no of course not, but I am aware that growing and maturing and bettering yourself sometimes means relocating. His answer almost made me fall off my chair! NO! There is no way I could move away from you and dad. Ya'll need me! I tried best I could to contain my snicker....but I had no idea that this man, who used to be my little boy, and NEVER communicates with me, felt that way!
I think he thinks he communicates a LOT. Once every other month is a LOT to him. So....I just keep in touch with his wife. If I call, I never ask for him, I speak to her about what's going on in their life. If they don't answer, I don't leave a message, I don't ask for a return call - I wouldn't get it even if I told them I'd pay them! I treat her like my daughter and him like my son-in-law. That seems to work very well for us. I know she enjoys the attention and free lunches and occasional shopping spree - that I would prefer were with my son - but in order to stay in touch, I lavish on her. Hey....it works!
I think some of these boys (men) THINK they communicate a LOT! Silly little boys!