Remembering When They Were Young

[Marie]

I was looking through some things in our attic the other day and ran across a box of homemade cards and crafts my children made me over the years.  It brought tears to my eyes.  It seems like things were so much simpler then.  My kids looked to me for guidance and comfort.  They wanted to spend lots of time with me, and we did a lot of fun things together as a family when they were growing up.


Now, things seem so much more complicated.  They are independent and think they know it all.  They get defensive if I try to give them advice, and they are more interested in spending time with their friends than with family.

[Bewitched]

I love looking through my children's old things for that very reason. It reminds me of a simpler time. I used to get my children's love and admiration without even having to try. Now, it seems like all I ever do is try and I get snubbed at least half of the time.

It's sort of like cats and dogs. Children start out as dogs with that unwavering, unconditional love that just makes them want to please you. Then the tables turn and they're cats who want to make you work for their love or want you to prove yourself worthy of it. Obviously, it's more complicated than that, but it's a simile that makes sense to me.

My daughter reverted back to a dog once she had a child of her own! I think it's hard for children to understand how much you love them and how much you've done for them until they have children of their own.

[Guineagirl]

Yeah it’s hard we remember the things they made as if it was yesterday.  We visited my our daughter last week and she gave me a bin bag of clothes she no longer wears in it was a top it’s only from a few years ago but shes in a photo I have wearing it.  It reminds us that that part of their lives has gone, moved on a guess.  I get what you mean xx

[girlchild34]

Over the years, I have learned to let the children be because their development is more or less like a vicious cycle. They may seem more defensive and 'independent' at some point but as time goes by, they go back to being the wonderful humans that we got used to, as young children. Am I the only one who's observed this?

[Marie]

I hear that once children are on their own for a bit, they come to realize how much we did for them as kids and appreciate it more.  I bet having children helps them realize that a lot!  When they become parents themselves, they suddenly realize how big and hard of a job it really is.

[haidyl]

I hear that once children are on their own for a bit, they come to realize how much we did for them as kids and appreciate it more.  I bet having children helps them realize that a lot!  When they become parents themselves, they suddenly realize how big and hard of a job it really is.

Very true and that is the reason why parents have to keep on doing that which they ought to do because at some point, they tend to look back and take stock of all that we did to them. It isn't easy being a parent and it takes patience and diligence to be a good one.

[Gerri]

I know what you mean. I often think about how they don't need me anymore and it is sad. But at the same time I know that I did my job, because we raise our children to be independent and great people, and that's what they are. They all are successful in their marriages and careers, so I know I did well and they can handle it from now on!

[txzookeeper]

It's bittersweet to look back at all those things.  I miss mine being little and I'd go back and do it all again in a heartbeat (leaving out some of the mistakes and bad times!) I have moved on and settled into my empty nest but sometimes it just makes me feel old!  There isn't as much going on a lot of time and sometimes that's sad but other times it's really nice.  I was watching a couple of my grandkids all last year after school and every two weeks for 12 hours a day in the summer.  Their mom is now staying home with them so I don't watch them anymore and I miss them too.  On the other hand, I don't have to sit in the school line for a half hour every day to pick up kids and I can cook whatever I want for dinner with no kids complaining about what we're having!  So there are good things and since we can't go backward, I keep going forward. I am glad I have all those things to look back at and remember all the fun we had when mine were young. I wouldn't have wanted to miss any of it.

[Jeanine]

Hi Tx, good to see you stopping in.    Yes, this empty nest thing can certainly make you feel old, especially when you have grandkids!


I know what you mean though about being used to a certain routine like keeping your grandkids like that. We've taken our grandson to school since he went to preK and is now in 6th grade. His mom manages a dentist office but since middle of last year he opened another office just 15 minutes away (the other was 45) so she has time in the mornings now to take him to school, (since she is at the new office most of the time), which she has missed out on for a long time. We have managed to adjust.


He is our late son's son who passed away several years ago. She has since recently remarried but they live just down the block from us and we do get to see him a lot, which helps. We're still real close to her even though it's not really the same anymore. Talk about changes!


But, like  you say, you just keep going forward, appreciate the past memories and make more new ones. Glad you are adjusting to yours.


How's that little doggie of yours doing? Last you mentioned it was really scared of storms?

[txzookeeper]

She's still afraid of storms and we've had nothing but rain since the beginning of September.  She's better if it just rains a little but when it's pouring or thundering and lightning she pants and paces or hides. My youngest cat got sick in June.  We came back from a vacation and she was fine for the first hour and then she was having problems breathing. I ended up taking her to the emergency vet where she had to spend the night on oxygen.  I picked her up the next morning and took her to our regular vet and from there to the cardiologist.  She's only 7 but she is in heart failure.  They had to give her a bunch of lasix which threw her into kidney failure.  The cardiologist wanted to keep her for two days to try to get her to eat again and get fluids in her by IV. When I asked how much it would cost (I'd already spent a small fortune for the er, x-rays and a ct scan of her heart) she told me about $700-800 per day.  Plus Sassy gets really stressed going to the vet and having to stay there for days would make it a lot worse for her. The cardiologist said the other option was for me to take her home and get 8-15 ounces of water down her each day.  I picked her up and called my regular vet and asked if there was something they could do. They suggested doing subcutaneous fluids so I took her there for each of the next three days for them to put the fluids in her and her kidneys started working again and she went back to eating.  It cost me about $75.  So much better than around $1500 and Sassy didn't have to stay elsewhere.  I was really upset that the cardiologist didn't even suggest going that route. I give her medicine daily but we went on vacation out of the country in August and she got stressed again.  I'm still trying to get her back on track.  I'm hoping she can pull through and be good again. It can sure be hard having animals because they're like my kids now.   

[Elizabeth]

Oh txzookeeper, you sound like such a good furbaby mama. I hope  your kitty is back on track by now? I know it can stress our pets out when we go away. Just keep talking to her and telling her she will be ok.


Do you just put the food in front of her and hope she will eat it or do you put some on your finger and stick it in her mouth so she will have to lick it? I've had to do that with a cat or two when they got sick and wouldn't eat. It's so important for them to get water and food. And yes, it can get very costly taking pets to a vet, seems it is more than for humans sometimes which I truly think some Vets take advantage of!


Hang in there, sounds like you are doing all you can for her.

[txzookeeper]

Sadly, Sassy got worse.  The medication wasn't helping anymore and she was struggling to breathe. I had an appointment to take her in this morning but she was struggling so much last night, I couldn't let her suffer through the night.  I took her to the Emergency vet and stayed with her.  It wasn't an easy time because she was in too much distress for them to find a vein.  I'm so sad to have lost her.  She was such a loving, fun, sassy girl.  I miss her.

[Jeanine]

Oh Tx, I'm so sorry to hear about your Sassy. I know you did everything you could for her. It's so hard when we lose one of our furbabies and she was still young. We just have to cling to all of our memories that we have of them and remember how good it was to have them in our lives.


 

[noodle]

Hi. I've been thinking a lot about my boys, especially as I've been emptying the last few boxes from moving into a new rental and finding so many forgotten photos. What really saddens me is thinking about the times I ignored them, because I wanted to text or email friends instead.

[txzookeeper]

noodle, unfortunately that seems to be the case with many people now.  I'm glad we didn't have cell phones when my kids were young.  They came along when my oldest was a teen but at that time, you paid per text.  I find it sad to see so many people pay more attention to their phones than they do people that are right there with them.  This seems to be the way our society has become.