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Author Topic: Changing Differently  (Read 184 times)

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Offline Indiana

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Changing Differently
« on: July 01, 2018, 02:14:52 PM »
Has anyone here found this happening to them? The kids are gone and you and your significant other start changing in different ways?


From ways to pass the time to political and social ideologies? As if they were just waiting for the kids to leave so their own personalities can be taken out.

Offline MagicMindy

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Re: Changing Differently
« Reply #1 on: July 01, 2018, 02:38:56 PM »
My husband and I went through something similar when the kids left home initially. I don't think it's necessarily that we grew in different ways but that we were more, well, engaged with one another. Sometimes kids can be so distracting and taxing that you grow a little distant from your spouse without even realizing it. Having differences is not only natural but healthy too (I think). I think it's important to find common ground though. Your common ground has been your children for the past however many years, so you might need to discover (or rediscover) your common interests.

Empty Nest Moms

Re: Changing Differently
« Reply #1 on: July 01, 2018, 02:38:56 PM »

Offline ava

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Re: Changing Differently
« Reply #2 on: July 04, 2018, 03:55:05 PM »
I would probably say that I got to know my significant other more after the kids left, but this didn't necessarily mean that they had changed. It could just be that a lot of time was being spent on the kids and so I did not devote enough time for my spouse. Indiana, have you had a conversation about this with your significant other and if so, how was the reaction?

Offline Marie

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Re: Changing Differently
« Reply #3 on: July 11, 2018, 06:00:16 AM »
I love what @MagicMindy said! 

I think that the kids are so distracting that we not only lose track of our spouses, but we lose track of ourselves, too.  We have to rediscover our interests once the kids are gone.  Those might have changed over the years, but I'm sure you can find some commonground with your spouse.  It is still a bit of a struggle with my husband and I, but we are going on regular date night and working on it.

Empty Nest Moms

Re: Changing Differently
« Reply #3 on: July 11, 2018, 06:00:16 AM »

Offline Joann

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Re: Changing Differently
« Reply #4 on: August 19, 2018, 01:12:42 AM »
It's difficult because when you have kids, you have a common goal, common daily activities, and then when they're gone, all of a sudden you're left with just each other. I think it is important to find common hobbies, things you enjoy doing together but also take some time for yourself to enjoy the things you like doing and he may not necessarily enjoy. Talk about it!

Offline MerryMe

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Re: Changing Differently
« Reply #5 on: August 25, 2018, 10:47:20 AM »

I had this experience and that was the reason I got into this forum in the first place. My husband and I became cold with each other because our common ground was out of the house. It took time for us to bring back the relationship that we had before we had our son.

Empty Nest Moms

Re: Changing Differently
« Reply #5 on: August 25, 2018, 10:47:20 AM »

 

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