How Not To Spoil Grandchildren?

[MomOfTwo]

I heard many times that grandparents usually spoil their grandchildren. My husband and I are not there yet but I would like to know how not to spoil our grandchildren when our sons will have babies of their own.

[cherie]

I remember a friend who told me that his parents would just call and ask them to prepare the kids then soon after, they'd drive and leave with them. He kept saying that they loved to 'spoil' the grandchildren and they had completely no control over that. I think grandparents love to treat their grandchildren, without necessarily being the disciplinarians they were, as parents. It has never been a concern to me though.

[MerryMe]

I also don't see anything wrong with spoiling grandchildren as long as we don't condone the bad things they are doing. In my simple understanding, grandparents try to give all their love to their grandchildren that they haven't given to their children and so it looks like the grandchildren were spoiled.

[MagicMindy]

I think that's one of the joys of being a grandparent - you get to spoil them! Now, if you get to see them all of the time, then it might be something you need to keep in check. I think the "rules" vary from child to child, from parent to parent. I would just make sure to have open communication with your child about it so that they won't be afraid to tell you if they think it's too much. Buying them a whole lot of toys to take home with them can end up being a headache for your son/daughter. So make sure to keep that in mind!

[cherie]

I think that's one of the joys of being a grandparent - you get to spoil them! Now, if you get to see them all of the time, then it might be something you need to keep in check. I think the "rules" vary from child to child, from parent to parent. I would just make sure to have open communication with your child about it so that they won't be afraid to tell you if they think it's too much. Buying them a whole lot of toys to take home with them can end up being a headache for your son/daughter. So make sure to keep that in mind!

This is an excellent way to look at it. I think that if you are doing or overdoing things that your son/daughter wouldn't do or do in moderation, then this could amount to spoiling them. There is a need for open communication and it is easier if you have always ensured that your kids do not fear to speak out.

[MomOfTwo]

Thanks for all your input. I now have a different outlook on how to be a grandparent. MagicMindy has hit point on why I wrote this inquiry. I don't want to give additional problem to my son if I do this or that to my grandchild. I agree with you about the open communication part so that I don't have to overdo my love to my grandchild in the future.

[Jeanine]

  well my two cents worth..........don't worry about it until the time comes!  Because when they do actually get here......it's a whole new ballgame when you hold that first (in our case, only) grandchild. Just go with your gut.

[MomOfTwo]

I agree with you Jeanine. We can talk all about it here, but it will be a different scenario when I'm actually holding that baby. I'm just imagining but this topic already makes me excited to hold a grandchild of mine.