sorry i am new and lost

[SamileeK]

  So I have been trying to cope with this empty nest thing for over a year now and am not doing well. I am in one of those estranged situations and everyday I seem to get worse instead of better. I have changed careers (which I do like better) quit smoking, joined a gym, doing yoga and eating healthier but I still feel very very sad. I will be driving and just start crying. I tried calling every therapist my insurance gave me and they are all not taking new clients or put me on a list. I joined a depression support group online but have not gotten any response to this problem . Though I did get to make a new mom feel better. I hurt physically as well, like my heart really hurts and I can't breathe sometimes. I tried finding like a people to people live group somewhere, with woman in pain like me but not in this town. If you don't have money or an addiction your screwed. I don't know what to do. Everyone keeps saying it will get better but it sure doesn't feel like it.

[MaryB]

I felt the word estranged.  Has it been a year since you've seen or spoken to your child, SamileeK? 
I am glad you found this forum because it has kept me afloat thru my estrangement.  You are doing everything you can to help yourself but to be able to talk to people that know what you are going thru seems to help too.  If you can find a support group, make sure they have experienced estrangement because it is different from empty nest.  I do hope your child has not turned their back on you.

[SamileeK]

No I haven't talked to my boy in a year on his upcoming birthday in July. And on that day he wasn't very nice at all.We had been so close, just him and I against the world. I had sorta prepared myself for college but not for me not being in his life at all. I have a grandchild I have never met. I know I made some mistakes along the way (he made sure to call me on them) but I don't think the worst Mom in the world deserves the pain I feel. Well the worst mom in the world wouldn't would she? I have 2 brothers both single and they just say F him hes ungrateful millennial but I just cry all the time.

[MaryB]

Oh my gosh,  I am so so sorry.  I know this pain well, and you are right you can be in a crown and tears flow out your eyes when you are not even crying.  It's the broken heart's pain spilling out.
I know exactly what you mean that you made some mistakes,  we all have but not everyone's child abolishes them from their life..
There's no easy answer.  I wish I had one.  I can tell you that I understand and my heart goes out to you, and you are among many wonderful loving people here that will love you and take you under their wing.  I know because they've done that to me thru my estrangement.  Jeanine, that is boss around here (it's her forum) is the most loving woman that never let go of me, and many times pulled me back from drowning in my own tears.  You'll meet her too.  Please keep in touch because talking seems to help 'get the pain out' somehow... 

[Jeanine]

Hi Samileek, I'm so sorry to hear about your hurting. Wish I could wave a magic wand and make it all better for you. All I can really say is to just keep moving forward one day at a time if you have to. I know it seems like it may never get better but you just have to have faith that it will start to change over time, just may not be as fast as you want it to.


You might want to join in on some of the other conversations going on here just to help get your mind going in different directions. Just trying to pick one thing different to do to get yourself going could be a start. Sometimes we just need to try to accept things as they are for the time being and keep going on with the hope that they will start to make a good turn with time.


Please feel free to come here to 'talk' anytime you need to. It can help to just 'get it out'.


We're all here for you, it's what this forum is all about.


Take care......

[Elizabeth]

Hello Samileek, just wanted to welcome you to the forum and let you know we are here for you! We listen and don't feel alone, there have been other moms going through some similar situations as you and have managed to come through it so hang in there.


I agree with Jeanine as to trying to join in on some of the other conversations. Just trying to get  your mind going in other directions might help a bit although I know it must be hard for you. Just keep moving forward.