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Author Topic: Approaching Husband About Marriage Counselling  (Read 217 times)

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Offline Layla

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Approaching Husband About Marriage Counselling
« on: November 08, 2018, 04:54:56 AM »
I've done some research, and I found a marriage and family therapist that looks good. She is covered by our insurance and has good ratings.


I'd like to ask my husband to go to sessions with me so we can work on our communication and our marital issues. I'm not sure how to approach him without offending him or making him upset, though. Do you all have any ideas?

Offline haidyl

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Re: Approaching Husband About Marriage Counselling
« Reply #1 on: November 08, 2018, 01:58:57 PM »
I don't mean to sound negative and pessimistic but there is a slight chance that your husband may not embrace the idea and the reluctance you have almost confirms it. I believe that going for counselling helps couples to learn about communication and co-existence.

For instance, how often to we apologize to each other? In my view, apologizing should be the easiest thing for anyone to do yet most people fail to acknowledge and admit it when they are wrong.

Empty Nest Moms

Re: Approaching Husband About Marriage Counselling
« Reply #1 on: November 08, 2018, 01:58:57 PM »

Offline Layla

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Re: Approaching Husband About Marriage Counselling
« Reply #2 on: November 09, 2018, 04:45:26 AM »
Yes, haidyl, I am afraid that he will refuse to come with me. I suppose I could always do individual counseling if he does refuse, but I'd really like us to work on our marriage together.

Apologizing is so hard, I believe, because it means we have to accept responsibility for whatever it is we did. That is easy when it's a small mistake, but when it's something big, it takes a lot of courage to accept responsibility - and the consequences - of your actions. But it's so very important.

Offline girlchild34

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Re: Approaching Husband About Marriage Counselling
« Reply #3 on: November 09, 2018, 09:54:57 PM »
Yes, haidyl, I am afraid that he will refuse to come with me. I suppose I could always do individual counseling if he does refuse, but I'd really like us to work on our marriage together.

Apologizing is so hard, I believe, because it means we have to accept responsibility for whatever it is we did. That is easy when it's a small mistake, but when it's something big, it takes a lot of courage to accept responsibility - and the consequences - of your actions. But it's so very important.
On the contrary Layla, I see a lot of people that find it easier to apologize for the big mistakes, then overlook the smaller ones. Counselling would work if you manage to convince your husband to tag along. Settling for a neutral counselor is the other important thing you have to consider.

Empty Nest Moms

Re: Approaching Husband About Marriage Counselling
« Reply #3 on: November 09, 2018, 09:54:57 PM »

Offline Layla

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Re: Approaching Husband About Marriage Counselling
« Reply #4 on: November 21, 2018, 05:46:58 AM »
I agree. I did some research and found a few counselors our insurance covers that specialize in marriage and family therapy. If my husband agrees to come, I'll show him the ones I've found. I want us to make a decision about who to see together so we're both comfortable.

Offline MerryMe

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Re: Approaching Husband About Marriage Counselling
« Reply #5 on: November 22, 2018, 05:07:06 AM »
This is not an easy thing to do, especially when the husband thinks that he did nothing wrong. I may understand your predicament a little bit because my relationship with my husband became cold after our son went to pursue his dreams in another country.


We have different family setups so I'm just going to share what I did. I talked to my husband one dinner after serving him his favorite dish. I told him that I loved him and I ask for forgiveness for my shortcomings. I said that I'm willing to become a better partner for him if he's going to help me. He resisted at first because he felt like I'm doing a reverse psychology on him, but I persisted to become better after that dinner. Slowly, but surely, he opened up and we became friends again.

Offline Layla

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Re: Approaching Husband About Marriage Counselling
« Reply #6 on: December 01, 2018, 05:32:50 AM »
MerryMe, I think that's a cool way to approach it, and I'm so glad that it worked out for you! I'm going to talk with my husband this weekend. Hopefully he is open to the idea of marriage counseling.

Empty Nest Moms

Re: Approaching Husband About Marriage Counselling
« Reply #6 on: December 01, 2018, 05:32:50 AM »

Offline MerryMe

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Re: Approaching Husband About Marriage Counselling
« Reply #7 on: December 06, 2018, 09:37:56 AM »
Layla, how did it go? I hope your husband is willing to work with you on your relationship because Christmas is coming. I, for one, don't want to have a heartache during the holidays.

Empty Nest Moms

Re: Approaching Husband About Marriage Counselling
« Reply #7 on: December 06, 2018, 09:37:56 AM »

 

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