Does Anyone Else Miss Feeling Needed?

[Marie]

Before my kids left home, they were more independent and didn't need me for as much as they did when they were little.  However, they still looked to me to cook them special meals, for advice when they had problems, or hugs when they needed to be comforted.  Granted, I talk to my kids at least once a week, but it simply isn't the same.


Do you miss feeling needed?  What do you do to cope?  I'm thinking about volunteering somewhere.  I really love helping people.

[cherie]

Volunteering is a really good idea because you may meet like-minded people and this is awesome because there will be an opportunity to learn from each other. As much as I also talk to my kids often, they now don't consult as much as they did, when they were younger. It is part of maturing plus they are trying to learn to do things on their own. As long as it doesn't end up in deafening silence, my thinking is that this is very normal. How we perceive this as, is what matters.

[Indiana]

This is the biggest thing I face, to be honest. For almost 2 decades you were needed for various things at different ages. Being that go-to person became what you were. Then they leave, and with themselves they take that feeling away of being needed.


It feels lonely. Sitting-on-the-edge-of-the-bed-in-a-grey-room-looking-at-the-floor-all -day lonely.


You have to think back on what you did before you had kids and do it again in a more mature way. In my opinion.

[MerryMe]

Preparation, in my opinion, is the key for us to adjust properly when the time comes that the nest will be empty. I trained my son to be independent at a very young age so that he wouldn't depend on me. Like Marie, I still cooked and washed the laundry for my family but I let my son do other chores like doing the dishes and cleaning the yard.