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Author Topic: What do you do when your child turns away from you?  (Read 477 times)

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Offline ava

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What do you do when your child turns away from you?
« on: April 08, 2018, 05:00:20 PM »
Most parents would never dare admit it if their child(ren) cut off communication; this is something most of them struggle through quietly. It would be torturous if a child stopped talking or returning calls. Are there signals that can be picked from the onset to avoid such situations and which is the best approach to avoid things getting to that point?

Empty Nest Moms

What do you do when your child turns away from you?
« on: April 08, 2018, 05:00:20 PM »

Offline MaryB

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Re: What do you do when your child turns away from you?
« Reply #1 on: April 09, 2018, 02:41:10 AM »
This is a subject near and dear to me, since my son estranged from me.  When I look back I can see things happening but going thru them didnt.  They kind of snow ball before you even know what hits you.  My advise to anyone going thru tuff times with their child is not to lose contact.  Keep the doors of communication open no matter how many times you bite your tongue.  Now people going thru normal empty nest is different I think, because the child is busy with their new found freedom and it may seem they have stopped talking when they are just breaking away from the apron strings.  They will talk,  but not as much as you may want.  There is a difference and I hope that's all you are experiencing.  Give them space and you will hear from them.
 :big hug smiley sign:

Offline Kidless

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Re: What do you do when your child turns away from you?
« Reply #2 on: April 09, 2018, 07:06:07 AM »

MaryB has said it all.  Give them space and they will come around.  As much as we try to protect them from falling into the same pits as we did, we just can't.  They have to experience life in their own way just like we did.  Don't judge or fuss or nag.  Just be quiet, listen and let them know the door is always open. 

Empty Nest Moms

Re: What do you do when your child turns away from you?
« Reply #2 on: April 09, 2018, 07:06:07 AM »

Offline cherie

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Re: What do you do when your child turns away from you?
« Reply #3 on: April 10, 2018, 01:20:42 PM »
Kidless, it wouldn't be easy to give them space and still not worry about how long they will take to come around. I agree that fussing or judging will just make them drift further. I completely concur with you MaryB and I know it hasn't been the best experience for you. Is your son married and what could have caused him to be that way?

Offline MaryB

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Re: What do you do when your child turns away from you?
« Reply #4 on: April 10, 2018, 05:47:23 PM »
Hi cherie.  My story is around here somewhere, but long story short, my son got in with a family that wanted him and not us, or his old friends.  I never ever thought it could happen to me, but she turned his head away from us, and until he left her, was not in our life.  It does happen to the most loved children. 

Offline ava

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Re: What do you do when your child turns away from you?
« Reply #5 on: April 13, 2018, 07:39:09 AM »
Hi cherie.  My story is around here somewhere, but long story short, my son got in with a family that wanted him and not us, or his old friends.  I never ever thought it could happen to me, but she turned his head away from us, and until he left her, was not in our life.  It does happen to the most loved children.
This is such a sad turn of events. I think when some things happen, we begin to question ourselves and wonder if we did any wrong. But the truth is that most of the time, some of these events are beyond us. We can only hope that your son will come back and keep in mind that family always has our back.

Empty Nest Moms

Re: What do you do when your child turns away from you?
« Reply #5 on: April 13, 2018, 07:39:09 AM »

Offline MaryB

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Re: What do you do when your child turns away from you?
« Reply #6 on: April 13, 2018, 04:17:43 PM »
Hi cherie.  My story is around here somewhere, but long story short, my son got in with a family that wanted him and not us, or his old friends.  I never ever thought it could happen to me, but she turned his head away from us, and until he left her, was not in our life.  It does happen to the most loved children.
This is such a sad turn of events. I think when some things happen, we begin to question ourselves and wonder if we did any wrong. But the truth is that most of the time, some of these events are beyond us. We can only hope that your son will come back and keep in mind that family always has our back.


Oh yes,  he came back after he left the wife,  and is with us now.  He got a divorce but we are not completely secure he still wont go back to her.  She still talks to him every day and wants him to go back.  I always thought when he came back things would be like they were but now we're dealing with a different person, one that has taken on traits of the other family so it's not been so easy, but we are eeking out a new relationship. 

Offline cherie

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Re: What do you do when your child turns away from you?
« Reply #7 on: April 16, 2018, 12:25:02 PM »
Mary B, I empathize with you greatly. Dealing with a different person from the one you have known for a long time, isn't easy. I am sure at some point you have considered knocking some sense into his head. I recall a time when someone moved in with his girlfriend and this person completely turned him against his mother. The girlfriend would even call and abuse his mother. At times it is hard to understand what causes things to reach that end. Anyway, after sometime, they broke up and he went back to his mother. There is still hope.. :smileyholdingflower:

Offline Cindy

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Re: What do you do when your child turns away from you?
« Reply #8 on: April 19, 2018, 09:35:07 AM »
Mary B, what you have experienced must be even harder than normal empty nest, that the children are just far away or being too busy. Sometimes life is just hard and we never know what's awaiting for us. We have to try to make ourselves stronger and more resilient when each event happens. At least he is at home with you, which means you have better chances to re-nurture the bonding with him. Isn't it the good side about it?

Offline MaryB

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Re: What do you do when your child turns away from you?
« Reply #9 on: April 20, 2018, 01:44:39 PM »
Mary B, I empathize with you greatly. Dealing with a different person from the one you have known for a long time, isn't easy. I am sure at some point you have considered knocking some sense into his head. I recall a time when someone moved in with his girlfriend and this person completely turned him against his mother. The girlfriend would even call and abuse his mother. At times it is hard to understand what causes things to reach that end. Anyway, after sometime, they broke up and he went back to his mother. There is still hope.. :smileyholdingflower:


cherie,  I wonder if they can ever repair the relationship to how it once was since the person has changed so much. Much like getting an abused animal, they always seem to be off somehow. 
Thank you for the words of encouragement. 


Offline MaryB

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Re: What do you do when your child turns away from you?
« Reply #10 on: April 20, 2018, 01:45:36 PM »
Mary B, what you have experienced must be even harder than normal empty nest, that the children are just far away or being too busy. Sometimes life is just hard and we never know what's awaiting for us. We have to try to make ourselves stronger and more resilient when each event happens. At least he is at home with you, which means you have better chances to re-nurture the bonding with him. Isn't it the good side about it?


Oh yes, Cindy,  having my son home is the best side to it.  I am very thankful

Empty Nest Moms

Re: What do you do when your child turns away from you?
« Reply #10 on: April 20, 2018, 01:45:36 PM »

 

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