How young is too young?

[Melee]

It seems like it's okay for a man to date a much younger woman as he gets older, but when an older woman dates a much younger man all the eyebrows in the room seem to raise. I get it. My question is, how young is too young? As a woman of a particular age, is any man over 21 fair game? If a woman is 60 years old, is dating a 40 year old too young? Has anyone here ever dated a younger man? How much younger? What are some of the pros and cons?
Why do I ask? Well... let's just say it's for research purposes.

[Scatter]

I dated a few men in a similar age in the past but we couldn't work our visions out (including my ex). It's not easy to see someone dated another who is decades younger because of those fundamental differences, but if they can work it out then age is just a number.

P.S. I can't wait to see the results of your research!

[Melee]

I dated a few men in a similar age in the past but we couldn't work our visions out (including my ex). It's not easy to see someone dated another who is decades younger because of those fundamental differences, but if they can work it out then age is just a number.

P.S. I can't wait to see the results of your research!

Regarding the research, I can't wait either, or I should say I couldn't wait. I'm starting to think that- that ship has sailed. Time will tell, and we shall see.

If I may Scatter, let me get some clarity here. So, do you mean that you've dated men in a similar age to you? Or younger than you? And if younger, how much younger?... if you don't mind my asking.

Sometimes I feel like I relate to younger men better than I relate to older men because often times the older man's mind is on his aches and pains. I for one don't think that one's life and vibrancy is over at 50, 60, or 70 but sometimes men that age spend a lot of time talking about what they used to be able to do.

[Cookie]

I think anyone over 21 is fair game. Why not? As long as you are both in the same place in life and have similar dreams, why should age get in the way? I hope that your ship hasn't sailed! I bet it would be a lot of fun to date someone younger.

[Melee]

I think anyone over 21 is fair game. Why not? As long as you are both in the same place in life and have similar dreams, why should age get in the way? I hope that your ship hasn't sailed! I bet it would be a lot of fun to date someone younger.

Hi Cookie, I like your answer, but after giving the subject a bit of thought, 21 is too young for me because I have a son around that age, so that would be kind of weird. I do agree that it's important for whoever (whomever?) I'm seeing to have similar dreams as I do... and if not similar dreams then at least a similar mindset toward certain things.

When I say that I think that ship has sailed, I mean that particular ship that I was doing the (ahem) research on. He and I were talking and getting along great, but then he disappeared. That's fine, I don't mind if I don't hear from someone, and I don't believe in chasing men.

We all have our lives and things that are going on, so I would never call a man and ask where he's been, or call just to say hi. I don't believe in that. I believe in giving a man space, so I let the man come to me, however my max for that space is about two weeks, three weeks tops. He's been MIA a lot longer than that, so even if he did come back around at this point (which I have a strong feeling he is going to do) I think I'm probably going to nicely ignore him.

[Cookie]

Ah, yes, that could make things a little awkward. Maybe that's a good place to draw the line - make sure they're at least older than your children.

A similar mindset would be good enough. You don't have to be on the same page but you need to be reading the same book, you know?

Well, his ship doesn't sound worth the wait. I guess that's the downside of dating someone that young...they'll act their age. Then again, there are times that my husband (who is in his 50s) acts like a teenager. It keeps both of us young.

Nicely ignoring him sounds like the right call to me. There are other studs out there. 

[Augi]

May-December relationships can work if two people have similar interests, likes, and dislikes. That being said, just because the people that are in a relationship are the same age doesn't mean that the relationship is going to work. It takes more than being the same age to make a relationship work and be a happy one.

[cherie]

Interesting discussion here and I like the train of thought. I support the idea of dating someone who is older than your children, otherwise this could lead to some level of resentment. On the other hand, age doesn't have to be an issue. We have many examples of relationships that have worked, despite the two parties being ages apart. This is quite a relative topic, so to speak.

[Berta]

I feel that age would not be an issue with the "right" man. And the right man would be somebody with whom you have basic views, opinions and tastes in common and with whom you can be yourself.


Personally, a man young enough to be my son might be my limit. So any man up to, say, 16 years younger than me could be called "fair game" 

[Melee]

Ah, yes, that could make things a little awkward. Maybe that's a good place to draw the line - make sure they're at least older than your children.

A similar mindset would be good enough. You don't have to be on the same page but you need to be reading the same book, you know?

Well, his ship doesn't sound worth the wait. I guess that's the downside of dating someone that young...they'll act their age. Then again, there are times that my husband (who is in his 50s) acts like a teenager. It keeps both of us young.

Nicely ignoring him sounds like the right call to me. There are other studs out there. 

LOL! You had me at, "Maybe that's a good place to draw the line..."

I like the 'reading out of the same book' analogy. I totally agree with that. Some people you just have a certain vibe with, and you get along very easily.

The ship in question just might be worth it, but time will tell. I have a feeling he'll be back around soon but, I'm going to try to ignore him as nicely as I can. I just might fold and talk to him because he looks nice... and I'll be happy that he's back. We'll see.

It sounds like you and your husband have a nice dynamic in your marriage. I think it's great when an older man can act like a teenager sometimes. Unfortunately, all too often I find that sometimes men of a certain age act like they are so old and so out-to-pasture. It's nice and refreshing to hear about a 50 year old acting like a teen! Good for him, and for you!