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Author Topic: How different does it get?  (Read 330 times)

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Offline cherie

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How different does it get?
« on: February 15, 2018, 12:30:15 PM »
As I was driving down the city the other day, I saw a senior couple passing by. The husband was trying to touch the wife's hand, but she pulled away. I have seen this couple more than thrice since that day, always in each other's company. How does love change in the senior years? Do people ever get tired of each other's company?

Offline MaryB

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Re: How different does it get?
« Reply #1 on: February 15, 2018, 02:26:37 PM »
Oh boy this is a huge subject!  I have 40 years in and to a man that has been more than difficult to live with, always having to have his own way or heck to pay..  yet I love this man, as angry as he can make me,  I care.
Something was said the other day and I said if I die before you, you would not skip a beat, but if you die I would be left with nothing,  how can you justify never allowing me to have life insurance on you?
As usual he changed the subject.  He has never hesitated to let me know he is more important than I am but after all these years if something happened to him, I'd miss him.   So you tell me......
Maybe I need my head examined...   :dunno:

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Re: How different does it get?
« Reply #1 on: February 15, 2018, 02:26:37 PM »

Offline Kidless

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Re: How different does it get?
« Reply #2 on: February 16, 2018, 06:51:17 AM »

I don't think they get tired of each others company as much as they take each other for granted.  It has recently occurred to me what I would do if hubby goes before me.  It's not a comforting thought.  I would miss him terribly.  We each have made financial arrangements for the other as well. 


It sounds like your guy is really an insensitive, self centered person MaryB.  Please try and get some life insurance on him. 

Offline ava

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Re: How different does it get?
« Reply #3 on: February 16, 2018, 11:04:31 AM »
Oh boy this is a huge subject!  I have 40 years in and to a man that has been more than difficult to live with, always having to have his own way or heck to pay..  yet I love this man, as angry as he can make me,  I care.
Something was said the other day and I said if I die before you, you would not skip a beat, but if you die I would be left with nothing,  how can you justify never allowing me to have life insurance on you?
As usual he changed the subject.  He has never hesitated to let me know he is more important than I am but after all these years if something happened to him, I'd miss him.   So you tell me......
Maybe I need my head examined...   :dunno:
MaryB, oh boy, this is deep! I always miss him when he is away but every time we are around each other, fights keep coming up. The fact that you have been together for four decades makes me realize that it can take as long as a lifetime to try and change someone, yet at the end of it all, fail terribly! Life is an interesting journey and isn't it beautiful that despite all that, deep down, we know that we love each other?

Offline MaryB

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Re: How different does it get?
« Reply #4 on: February 16, 2018, 03:05:22 PM »
I think if I had it to do over again,   I wouldnt.  And I know if anything happened I would never get married again. 
Now that tells it all doesnt it! 
 :big hug smiley sign:  Ava   :039:

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Re: How different does it get?
« Reply #4 on: February 16, 2018, 03:05:22 PM »

Offline Nannie

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Re: How different does it get?
« Reply #5 on: February 16, 2018, 04:07:01 PM »
Sorry to hear of your troubles Maryb with your hubby. Sometimes it just goes that way. We can get in a rut after a while and tend to just leave things as they are, especially after we may have tried several times to get things right. Some just 'live with it the best they can'.


I've been lucky over the years as hubby and I have always gotten along well (well ok, maybe a time or two here and there we 'disagreed') but all in all for the nearly 52 years we have done ok.


It does change as you get older though. I think it is the maturity that comes with age. Some couples age well together while some don't. I think it's a matter of if you want to stay together and make it work, call it quits or just, as I mentioned above, live with it.
 :grouphugsign:

Offline MaryB

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Re: How different does it get?
« Reply #6 on: February 16, 2018, 08:25:30 PM »
Thank you Nannie.  You got it right, that sometimes you just make it work.   :big hug smiley sign:

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Re: How different does it get?
« Reply #6 on: February 16, 2018, 08:25:30 PM »

Offline Flower

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Re: How different does it get?
« Reply #7 on: February 17, 2018, 09:31:40 AM »
My husband and I love to watch the senior couples we see when we are out to eat because oftentimes they don't talk, but we'll see them doing things like sharing a plate, handing each other the salt or pepper, passing the bread, etc. It's really heartwarming to see that after so many years together, they can almost read each other's minds.

MaryB, I think you need to do what is necessary to protect yourself. You don't need his permission to take out life insurance on him.

Offline MaryB

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Re: How different does it get?
« Reply #8 on: February 17, 2018, 08:54:24 PM »
 :smileyholdingflower: thanks Flower!
I think it's to late for me..  at our age no one could afford what they'd charge, IF they'd even cover him..  I appreciate your advise though.   :big hug smiley sign:

Offline cherie

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Re: How different does it get?
« Reply #9 on: February 21, 2018, 11:53:52 AM »
Well, I look at the senior couples around and all they seem to enjoy is each other's company. I was at this restaurant one day and while the wife was reading a book, the hubby was perusing the day's paper. Surely, at that age, they have gotten to know each other fully and nothing much can change. They have probably learned to live with each other.

Offline MagicMindy

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Re: How different does it get?
« Reply #10 on: March 09, 2018, 03:16:00 PM »
I'm sorry to hear about your struggles, MaryB. I think you're right though - sometimes you get it right and sometimes you make it work. Even when you get it right, it takes work and I think people shy away from that more than they did back in the days that I got married.

Thankfully, I found a great husband, but, Kidless, you really nailed the issue on the head. The biggest problem we face is taking one another for granted. When you're around someone all the time, no matter how amazing they are, you just lose that sense of awe and wonder. It's very sad, but you can easily remind yourself of the good, even if they seem a little "duller" than they once did. I think it's important to try new things together because that can help deepen your relationships and show one another your strengths.

Offline horizon

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Re: How different does it get?
« Reply #11 on: March 10, 2018, 09:48:54 PM »
Going 25 years into this marriage. The anger, sadness, and disappointment over the years against all the rainbows. There's no way we could stay the same. I'm often annoyed, but I always return to care. I guess that's what family is. Some may stay at the "annoyed" phase and forget to "care", while others relatively have it easy.

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Re: How different does it get?
« Reply #11 on: March 10, 2018, 09:48:54 PM »

 

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