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Author Topic: Wish I knew what was next for me!  (Read 566 times)

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Offline FeelingAlone

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Wish I knew what was next for me!
« on: January 31, 2018, 02:09:26 PM »
New here and so glad I found this site! My one an only daughter left for college a few months ago and I am feeling soooo lonely. I'm trying real hard to move on with my life but it's not easy. She is several hours away and we do talk often. She was home a few days for Christmas and that was nice but hard again when she left. She's doing great and really loves her school and life right now so don' want to be a downer to her so keep my 'loneliness' to myself.


I am trying to stay busy and while I do work it's not that fantastic of a job. Really need to start looking around for something that I can be really happy with. I'm also single (divorced several years) but not really interested in finding someone now. I know I should try to get back 'out there' in the dating scene but not ready yet.


I hate to sound like a broken record but what did some of you do (especially any singles) when your children started leaving home? How long did it take you to 'get a life'?

Empty Nest Moms

Wish I knew what was next for me!
« on: January 31, 2018, 02:09:26 PM »

Offline Elizabeth

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Re: Wish I knew what was next for me!
« Reply #1 on: January 31, 2018, 05:39:41 PM »
Hang in there FeelingAlone, sounds like you are trying to do all the right things and I know it must be hard, especially with her being so far away.


Just try to keep yourself busy as you can (keeps the mind from thinking so much!) Thinking about looking for a new job sounds like a good idea. Any reason why you can't start now? Do you have any interest that would help you in your job search? Might be something that will keep your mind occupied.


Good luck to you and keep us posted!

Offline MaryB

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Re: Wish I knew what was next for me!
« Reply #2 on: February 01, 2018, 12:10:40 PM »
What you are going thru is so so normal, but I know it does not make it any easier.  Just know you will adjust and it will get easier.
 :big hug smiley sign:

Empty Nest Moms

Re: Wish I knew what was next for me!
« Reply #2 on: February 01, 2018, 12:10:40 PM »

Offline EnjoyingLife

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Re: Wish I knew what was next for me!
« Reply #3 on: February 01, 2018, 04:54:25 PM »
Hi FeelingAlone, well you are normal and what you are feeling is not unusual. Giving yourself time you should come through it all ok. It might take time but looks like you are giving a good try, so keep it up. You might just look around and see if there are any groups  you could join? Book Club, crafts anything that might interest you.


Hang in there! It will get better if  you let it.  :039:

Offline SeniorLady

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Re: Wish I knew what was next for me!
« Reply #4 on: February 02, 2018, 06:57:31 AM »
Just wanted to jump in here and say it will get better! May not seem like it at first but it does. Relationships change with our kids as they (and us!) age over the years. You just need to grow with it and accept the changes. They can become even better as they grow into adults. As was mentioned, find things to keep you (mostly your mind from wandering) busy. Might be hard at first but sounds like you are giving it a good try so stay with it.

Empty Nest Moms

Re: Wish I knew what was next for me!
« Reply #4 on: February 02, 2018, 06:57:31 AM »

Offline FeelingAlone

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Re: Wish I knew what was next for me!
« Reply #5 on: February 02, 2018, 05:39:29 PM »
Thank you ladies for your replies, they are sooo appreciated! I have decided to start looking around for a different job so wish me luck. Just going to take my time and make sure I have something lined up before I quit this one. I'm also looking into seeing what kind of social clubs that around my area. Maybe a book club since I do like to read. So we will see what comes up.


Thanks again for your input.

Offline Pat

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Re: Wish I knew what was next for me!
« Reply #6 on: April 07, 2018, 06:53:16 AM »
Hello @FeelingAlone - I relate to everything you say. The second of my two sons left home this week - just after a huge family reunion. All of a sudden the house is very empty. We won't see him until the summer as he's gone traveling prior to starting college in September. He's going to visit us for a week before he goes off again.


My husband and I have had only 4 days of this. That sounds pathetic because my son has been away for 2 weeks at a time in the past on holidays etc. But there is this heavy feeling about the place that he won't be coming back except as a visitor.



Offline SaraGreenTea

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Re: Wish I knew what was next for me!
« Reply #7 on: August 25, 2018, 07:50:55 PM »
Hi, My last child moved out on August 1st. I'm divorced. This is hard. There are times when it's ok but other times it's lonely. Sara

Offline MaryB

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Re: Wish I knew what was next for me!
« Reply #8 on: August 26, 2018, 07:55:00 AM »
Pat, I am so glad you have a partner, even at that it is difficult..  but Sara, you being alone really pulls at my heart.  I hope you have a mom or sister or best friend to talk to.  This can overtake you if you let it.  You cant be idle, you have to keep moving and keep your mind active.
Good luck to you, dear...  and welcome to the family! :big hug smiley sign:

Offline SaraGreenTea

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Re: Wish I knew what was next for me!
« Reply #9 on: August 26, 2018, 08:55:40 AM »
Thank you so much, Mary B. I feel like you really get it. You're so right about not being idle, not letting it drag me down. It's kind of scary. Deep breath. I do have a Mom who is amazing. I have a sister, but sadly she and I are not quite on the same page and she frustrates me more than she supports or helps. My daughter is amazing. We are very close and can talk about anything. I also have 2 boys who are great. They invite me to things...like their baseball games or just for a meal. But, I feel so alone and lost, to be honest.

Offline MaryB

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Re: Wish I knew what was next for me!
« Reply #10 on: August 28, 2018, 11:01:20 AM »
You will adjust.  I remember the thought of going to the store alone petrified me in the beginning.  Now I savor going alone.  If I could suggest something to you,  I would suggest you go and get involved in the kids, with whatever they are wanting you in.  I know they do want you in their life!  That in itself is fantastic!  Then give yourself time, dear friend.  You will adjust.  It's like watching young mother's trying to potty train their child..  they panic that it does not happen when they think it should, but look around..  we all learned!  You will adjust all in time. 


Offline SaraGreenTea

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Re: Wish I knew what was next for me!
« Reply #11 on: August 28, 2018, 12:51:11 PM »
Hi Mary B., I take every opportunity to hang out with the kids. I love it. They're quite often here for big family meals....for birthdays, Thanksgiving, Easter etc. I feel very fortunate that they all, for now, live fairly close and that we are all close emotionally. But, I'm having a REALLY rough week. Too much time on my hands, and it's the first time I've had time like this with an empty nest. Usually I'm busy working. I've also had a painful shoulder this summer and it's not better. I thought it would be. I don't sleep through the night. Last night I was awake from 12:40 to 4:30. Ugh! The night before I was awake every hour. The other piece of the puzzle is that I have a wonderful connection/friendship with a man who lives 6 hours away (by car). I haven't seen him since March. And yet we email back and forth every single day. We share so much with each other and I know we both enjoy it a lot. Sara

Offline MaryB

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Re: Wish I knew what was next for me!
« Reply #12 on: August 28, 2018, 01:10:22 PM »
Sara,   I sure understand..  even when we are busy that ache is sure in the forefront!  I do understand.  I wish we were close that I could be with you.  :dunno:  Sometimes just having an ear to 'get it out' helps, for a bit anyway.  To not even get good rest at nite just makes the agony go on and on.  What is it at nite that seems to go on forever when we cant sleep.. 
My heart really is with you.   :big hug smiley sign:



Offline SaraGreenTea

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Re: Wish I knew what was next for me!
« Reply #13 on: August 28, 2018, 01:28:07 PM »
Pat...glad you have someone.Feeling Alone...it's really hard and weird, isn't it? I'm lucky that my job (although it's really hard work) lets me nurture people (ESL students) and gives me a lot of interaction with people. Also, it's a very meaningful job and it's mentally stimulating and challenging. It keeps me on my toes.
Mary B - thanks for your kind words.

I just want to feel better. :-(

Offline MaryB

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Re: Wish I knew what was next for me!
« Reply #14 on: August 28, 2018, 01:38:20 PM »
I want you to too..    :'(

Empty Nest Moms

Re: Wish I knew what was next for me!
« Reply #14 on: August 28, 2018, 01:38:20 PM »

 

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