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Author Topic: Does it get easier?  (Read 292 times)

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Offline celebratelife

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Does it get easier?
« on: January 09, 2018, 02:37:40 AM »
I am finding that physical distance makes it hard for me to connect with my daughter as much as we used to, but I guess that's a given. My daughter is in her third year of college a couple of hours away. So although I am more new to the whole empty nest realm, I know how her visits and schedules are going to work.

However, even though I am familiar with the patterns of coming and going, it still seems hard to say goodbye. Even if I know when she's coming back. Does it ever get easier?

Empty Nest Moms

Does it get easier?
« on: January 09, 2018, 02:37:40 AM »

Offline MaryB

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Re: Does it get easier?
« Reply #1 on: January 09, 2018, 09:22:52 AM »
I wonder too.  My son has came back into my life after many many years,  and he is a grown man now, but he gets a cough and my mommy instincts hear him in the middle of the nite and I dont hear that grown man,  I hear my little boy.   :(

Offline Treasure

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Re: Does it get easier?
« Reply #2 on: January 10, 2018, 12:06:39 AM »
It does get easier although i do find that when I'm with my children for an extended period of time that the goodbyes are just as hard as ever. The shorter visits are the ones that happen more frequently, so they're a part of my schedule and I anticipate it to be a short visit. It helps. When they're home for longer, I find myself getting right back into our old routine and that makes the pain fresh again.

Empty Nest Moms

Re: Does it get easier?
« Reply #2 on: January 10, 2018, 12:06:39 AM »

Offline Elizabeth

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Re: Does it get easier?
« Reply #3 on: January 28, 2018, 03:34:20 PM »
Hi Mary, how is it going with you son at home? Is he still there? Hope he (and you!) are settling in ok and everyone is doing ok? I know it must be hard after all these years and hope you are getting to make up for lost time. Would love to hear and update whenever you find the time.  :039:

Offline Jo

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Re: Does it get easier?
« Reply #4 on: March 24, 2018, 10:15:21 AM »
I am almost an empty nester and I am having a hard time with being alone.  My youngest son has started creating his life and doing all kinds of things outside of the house.  His friends are moving out of their homes (18 years old) and would like to move in with him.  They are moving to Montreal, which is were I would like to move.  He doesn't mind if I move in the apt beside him or later on on the same property as him, but isn't quite sure that he wants me to move in with him in Mtl.  We had spoken about it, and he was in agreement until about 3 months ago, then something changed( friends).  The arrangement was I would stay with him, until I was able to stand on my own two feet, and find a place of my own in Mtl.  He is on the verge of flying on his own, and it scares me for I will be on my own.  I have no partner to share this with, 2 friends that have no children, family members that I am more or less friendly with, no activities and I don't know what I like doing.  I feel like I am frozen in time, and cannot move.  It scares me to think that the rest of my life will be spent by myself.  Does this feeling ever go away, do things get better with time, or am I always going to have that empty feeling at the bottom of my stomach.  My oldest moved out 2 years ago, he lives about 20 minutes from home, and I only see him at Christmas time and other events.  If there is anyone that can give me feedback or advice, I am open to accept it

Offline MaryB

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Re: Does it get easier?
« Reply #5 on: March 24, 2018, 06:01:25 PM »
Hi Mary, how is it going with you son at home? Is he still there? Hope he (and you!) are settling in ok and everyone is doing ok? I know it must be hard after all these years and hope you are getting to make up for lost time. Would love to hear and update whenever you find the time.  :039:


Oh Elizabeth, it has been a ruff go..   he is not the person I knew and this one acts like he does not like me much.  In fact he acts like he has a chip on his shoulder towards me, and sucks up to his dad, that was not around when I raised him.  It was me that sacrificed and did everything for him.  I taught him how to drive, to shave..   but now ..    :(
His divorce is suppose to go thru next week, but we are unsure he will go thru with it, and even if he does there are no guarantees he wont go back.  They talk every day.  I will never understand this.. 
Thank you for thinking of me..   :big hug smiley sign:

Empty Nest Moms

Re: Does it get easier?
« Reply #5 on: March 24, 2018, 06:01:25 PM »

Offline MaryB

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Re: Does it get easier?
« Reply #6 on: March 24, 2018, 06:04:58 PM »
I am almost an empty nester and I am having a hard time with being alone.  My youngest son has started creating his life and doing all kinds of things outside of the house.  His friends are moving out of their homes (18 years old) and would like to move in with him.  They are moving to Montreal, which is were I would like to move.  He doesn't mind if I move in the apt beside him or later on on the same property as him, but isn't quite sure that he wants me to move in with him in Mtl.  We had spoken about it, and he was in agreement until about 3 months ago, then something changed( friends).  The arrangement was I would stay with him, until I was able to stand on my own two feet, and find a place of my own in Mtl.  He is on the verge of flying on his own, and it scares me for I will be on my own.  I have no partner to share this with, 2 friends that have no children, family members that I am more or less friendly with, no activities and I don't know what I like doing.  I feel like I am frozen in time, and cannot move.  It scares me to think that the rest of my life will be spent by myself.  Does this feeling ever go away, do things get better with time, or am I always going to have that empty feeling at the bottom of my stomach.  My oldest moved out 2 years ago, he lives about 20 minutes from home, and I only see him at Christmas time and other events.  If there is anyone that can give me feedback or advice, I am open to accept it
Jo, you must feel like the rug has been pulled out from under you and  I sure understand that!!!  We have all been there, at one time or another and honey trust me,  it will get better.  You are hurting and I sure feel for you today though.  I would hope you would not make any decisions just yet.  If you can wait a bit,  because you cant be sure what your son is going to do, and it will hurt you worse if you move there and he does sprout wings...  I'm so glad you found us.  You talk all you want ok!   :big hug smiley sign:

Offline horizon

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Re: Does it get easier?
« Reply #7 on: March 25, 2018, 04:25:19 AM »
I am almost an empty nester and I am having a hard time with being alone.  My youngest son has started creating his life and doing all kinds of things outside of the house.  His friends are moving out of their homes (18 years old) and would like to move in with him.  They are moving to Montreal, which is were I would like to move.  He doesn't mind if I move in the apt beside him or later on on the same property as him, but isn't quite sure that he wants me to move in with him in Mtl.  We had spoken about it, and he was in agreement until about 3 months ago, then something changed( friends).  The arrangement was I would stay with him, until I was able to stand on my own two feet, and find a place of my own in Mtl.  He is on the verge of flying on his own, and it scares me for I will be on my own.  I have no partner to share this with, 2 friends that have no children, family members that I am more or less friendly with, no activities and I don't know what I like doing.  I feel like I am frozen in time, and cannot move.  It scares me to think that the rest of my life will be spent by myself.  Does this feeling ever go away, do things get better with time, or am I always going to have that empty feeling at the bottom of my stomach.  My oldest moved out 2 years ago, he lives about 20 minutes from home, and I only see him at Christmas time and other events.  If there is anyone that can give me feedback or advice, I am open to accept it
Hi, Jo. I'm sorry to hear about what you're going through. Sometimes that's just how things go, just like I did in the past with my parents. It's a step in life that we all must take one way or another. I believe you can feel better as time passes and both of you adapt to the new situation. I personally still have that kind of empty feeling when we go apart again (as some other members here also experience) and that's normal. That shows how much you love them. I understand that you feel scared, but give it a try and don't stress yourself more than necessary. Believe in yourself and your son that you can get through this together to see each other a lot in the future. We are also here for you to talk to!

Empty Nest Moms

Re: Does it get easier?
« Reply #7 on: March 25, 2018, 04:25:19 AM »

 

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