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Author Topic: What to do when husband is pulling away from faith  (Read 65 times)

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Offline JustUs2

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What to do when husband is pulling away from faith
« on: December 01, 2017, 07:34:21 AM »
My husband and I are both cradle Catholics.  We got married in the church and we used to attend Mass once a week, unless something major happened.  We both prayed together and read our bibles together pretty regularly.  However, in the past year or so I've noticed my husband pulling away from faith in general.  He makes excuses to skip Mass, looks around during prayer, and is not interested in reading religious material. He's happy to participate in charity events, but that's about it.  It wasn't that noticeable before, but of course, Christmas has put a big spotlight on his change in attitude.  What can a person do when one half of the couple is religious and the other half...maybe isn't?

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What to do when husband is pulling away from faith
« on: December 01, 2017, 07:34:21 AM »

Offline MaryB

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Re: What to do when husband is pulling away from faith
« Reply #1 on: December 01, 2017, 08:02:36 AM »
That's a question for all the ages!  The lucky ones (like you were) are the ones that agree with their religion but alas....  I have always walked my walk alone, until now my husband retired and goes with me now.  Still he does not pray with me or read scriptures, just the basics.  I dont know of anything you can do but keep your walk up, my friend.  I think your husband sounds like he is just tired.  Getting older tired I mean.
I would be curious if you talked to him about it if he has a reason to give you
Good luck to you both.   :big hug smiley sign:

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Re: What to do when husband is pulling away from faith
« Reply #1 on: December 01, 2017, 08:02:36 AM »

Offline JustUs2

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Re: What to do when husband is pulling away from faith
« Reply #2 on: December 06, 2017, 12:18:56 PM »
Thank you for replying, MaryB.  I have asked off-handedly and he either says he's sleepy or busy.  I need to be more forthcoming in talking about it though.  Mass happens everyday, so it's hard to imagine that a retired man can't find time to go.  I'm not sure what I will do if he's decided to cast-off our faith.

Empty Nest Moms

Re: What to do when husband is pulling away from faith
« Reply #2 on: December 06, 2017, 12:18:56 PM »

Offline MaryB

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Re: What to do when husband is pulling away from faith
« Reply #3 on: December 06, 2017, 09:10:00 PM »
You're welcome.  Wish I had some words of wisdom for you.  I know I have been told 'if I dont feel like going, I'm not' before and shucks if we waited till we felt like going, we'd never go.  We go because it is the right thing to do, be faithful.  At least I do, and never been sorry about it. 
Good luck.  I hope you can get to the reason.
 :big hug smiley sign:

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Re: What to do when husband is pulling away from faith
« Reply #3 on: December 06, 2017, 09:10:00 PM »

Offline Kidless

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Re: What to do when husband is pulling away from faith
« Reply #4 on: December 08, 2017, 08:29:47 AM »

MaryB is correct.  The first thing is to ask him what's wrong.  It could be he's just tired of the routine.  Maybe you could change it up some.  Go to Mass on different days?  Don't forget to pray about it as well.  Always pray!  Please keep us updated. 
 :smileyholdingflower:

Offline haidyl

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Re: What to do when husband is pulling away from faith
« Reply #5 on: December 09, 2017, 10:55:24 PM »
Tough situation there, especially because this is a routine that you've had over the years. I am imagining myself in your shoes and as overwhelming as it may be, the best thing would be to have a candid discussion. It may help to ask what he thinks is the best way to go about it. I pray that it goes well for all of you.

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Re: What to do when husband is pulling away from faith
« Reply #5 on: December 09, 2017, 10:55:24 PM »

Offline JustUs2

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Re: What to do when husband is pulling away from faith
« Reply #6 on: December 10, 2017, 08:32:39 PM »
It's his knees!  If you've ever seen a Catholic service you know we like to stand, sit, and kneel over and over.  The joke is that the priest doesn't run around the room and yell like some preachers in other faiths and we don't yell out, dance, or clap, so the whole standing and kneeling thing is what keeps us awake*.  We kneel to pray most of the time, even outside of church**.  Just to put it in context, if you've ever read or seen the movie Gone With the Wind, Scarlett and her family kneel for praying the rosary, for other prayers, and for Bible readings.  She gets in trouble for fidgeting because she's bored and it's hard on the knees.  Her youngest sister gets to kneel on a pillow, but that's it.  Well, at home I stand to read the Bible and devotionals because it helps me stay awake and focused.  He stands with me, even though it's unnecessary.  At the end we kneel to pray.  Before going to bed we kneel to pray.  Kneeling isn't mandatory, the priest has made it a point to say so numerous times, but it is so ingrained that you'll see 90 year olds on an oxygen tank trying to kneel and stand during mass.  I don't think the younger generation is as serious about it, but those 50 and over sure are.  We have soft pads to kneel at church, but the mechanics of getting up and down hurt him. 


*I have visited other faiths, met some of the nicest people, and enjoyed it each time.  I hope it doesn't seem like knocking those who do things differently.
**By "we" I mostly mean the group I know.  I'm not intending to speak for all Catholics and I certainly didn't take a global poll.




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Re: What to do when husband is pulling away from faith
« Reply #6 on: December 10, 2017, 08:32:39 PM »

Offline JustUs2

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Re: What to do when husband is pulling away from faith
« Reply #7 on: December 10, 2017, 08:53:33 PM »

My husband was scheduled to have his knee replaced, but we went on the low-carb diet, he lost some weight and when he claimed to be better I believed him and canceled the appointment.  He didn't want me to know they still hurt because I'd worry to death, be mad at him for lying (he says he wasn't fibbing, that his knees really felt better at the time) and nag him to have the operation.  So, he claimed he was tired instead.   

I'm obviously not happy with him, but I can see where I played my part in the fiasco.

I can't thank you all enough for the kind words and support!  :cute group hug:

Empty Nest Moms

Re: What to do when husband is pulling away from faith
« Reply #7 on: December 10, 2017, 08:53:33 PM »

 

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