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Author Topic: It should've been harder  (Read 1611 times)

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Offline LinBabb

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It should've been harder
« on: August 26, 2017, 10:46:51 PM »
I don't regret getting divorced from my ex husband. We just weren't meant for each other and when the time came and I asked for a divorce, I felt it should've been harder. Sure, it was a little hard, but that was because he was a big part of my life, but I always looks back and wonder why it was so easy for me to leave. He didn't fight for us and neither did I.

Offline Katie Ann

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Re: It should've been harder
« Reply #1 on: August 26, 2017, 11:00:25 PM »
How long were you married, LinBabb?  I think it's beneficial when both parties are willing to walk away peacefully, but there's still usually some nostalgia involved when looking back.  I think you were wise though to know when you were done and it was time to go.  So many other couples waste their time by hanging on until the bitter end.

Empty Nest Moms

Re: It should've been harder
« Reply #1 on: August 26, 2017, 11:00:25 PM »

Offline LinBabb

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Re: It should've been harder
« Reply #2 on: August 27, 2017, 10:04:49 PM »
How long were you married, LinBabb?  I think it's beneficial when both parties are willing to walk away peacefully, but there's still usually some nostalgia involved when looking back.  I think you were wise though to know when you were done and it was time to go.  So many other couples waste their time by hanging on until the bitter end.
Katie Ann, we were married for 16 years and dated for 2 years before that, so we were together for 18 years. I will admit that I am happy it wasn't a messy divorce and feel it helped the kids out because me and their father are still good friends.

Offline Tesla

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Re: It should've been harder
« Reply #3 on: August 28, 2017, 07:24:57 AM »
That's a long time LinBabb.  How old are the kids?  Are they doing well?  Do they understand what happened?  Maybe it was so easy because there was just nothing left.  Sometimes, we just grow apart and find we are happier doing our own thing.  I'm glad you remained friends.  It will be easier on the kids that way. 

Empty Nest Moms

Re: It should've been harder
« Reply #3 on: August 28, 2017, 07:24:57 AM »

Offline CatMom

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Re: It should've been harder
« Reply #4 on: August 28, 2017, 05:07:21 PM »
I felt similarly when I got divorced. We hadn't been together as long as you and your ex, but long enough. Hopefully you didn't experience this, but I had people who thought I wasn't upset enough. I didn't exactly go out dancing every night, but I didn't sit and bawl either. I had girls to take care of, and really things didn't change too much.

Offline MaryB

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Re: It should've been harder
« Reply #5 on: August 28, 2017, 06:53:27 PM »
Oh I agree with Katie Ann!!!   If everyone could be adult about it just think of the lives that could be saved instead of suffering because of the temper tantrums and threats and ugliness people stay together to avoid. 
I do not mean to make light of your divorce, not by any means.  That is a long time and I'm sure you and he had hard adjustments to go thru.   :big hug smiley sign:

Offline LinBabb

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Re: It should've been harder
« Reply #6 on: September 01, 2017, 07:24:44 PM »
Oh I agree with Katie Ann!!!   If everyone could be adult about it just think of the lives that could be saved instead of suffering because of the temper tantrums and threats and ugliness people stay together to avoid. 
I do not mean to make light of your divorce, not by any means.  That is a long time and I'm sure you and he had hard adjustments to go thru.   :big hug smiley sign:
The only big adjustment was getting used to him not being there. Though the love was long gone, I still enjoyed his company, but we both knew it was over. We still have lunch together every now and then.

Empty Nest Moms

Re: It should've been harder
« Reply #6 on: September 01, 2017, 07:24:44 PM »

Offline MaryB

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Re: It should've been harder
« Reply #7 on: September 01, 2017, 08:13:01 PM »
That is a big adjustment too, LinBabb..   :big hug smiley sign:
Just the fact that you two still have lunch now and then tells me you both still care for each other, just better not married.   I have felt like that in my marriage 100 times over! 

Offline Becki

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Re: It should've been harder
« Reply #8 on: November 23, 2017, 08:14:48 PM »
Sometimes it is just better to go your separate ways without putting both parties in crisis.  As for children, it is better that they remember their parents in happy times rather than ranting and raving at each other.  Sounds like you did the right thing at the right time.   :big hug smiley sign:

Empty Nest Moms

Re: It should've been harder
« Reply #8 on: November 23, 2017, 08:14:48 PM »

 

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