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Author Topic: Lives each day in waiting  (Read 1672 times)

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Offline Cindy

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Lives each day in waiting
« on: March 30, 2018, 07:54:20 PM »
Hi empty nest moms,


I'm a new comer, I Googled the forum and found this place, and hope there is a place that I can cry.


My only child, a teenage daughter went to a boarding school in New York. Don't ask me why, it is a good choice for her future, and she loves there and enjoys a good life. I'm glad for her success and happiness, but never expected that life would be so so hard without her.


People say that keeping yourself busy is a way to ease the pain. I do have many tasks but simply didn't want to do. It has come to the point that I hope a psychologist or personal coach can help?


Each day I live in tears, my husband is trying best to help me and has done all he can but I still live in pain. She has been the center of my life and now I feel so lost. I know that I shouldn't build my happiness on other people including her, but it's just too hard and seems impossible!


How is everyone here dealing with this? Much appreciate your advice.
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Lives each day in waiting
« on: March 30, 2018, 07:54:20 PM »

Offline MaryB

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Re: Lives each day in waiting
« Reply #1 on: March 31, 2018, 07:31:10 AM »
You feel like the rug has been pulled out from under you.  You went from a full time job to being laid off and it feels like it came without warning, overnite.  You are left watching your hands wring.  While your daughter is enjoying this new life, you are left feeling you lost a limb.  Oh boy I know what you are going thru!  I do think having someone to talk to helps.  I'm so glad you found us because there are caring parents here that also know and can support you too.  We are here for you.  It will get easier, all in time.  This is a new life for you too.   :big hug smiley sign:
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Offline Cindy

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Re: Lives each day in waiting
« Reply #2 on: March 31, 2018, 08:48:10 PM »
Thank you very much Mary for your sweet words. Yes I am glad to have found this place as you are the ones who do understand and feel such pain.

It's like losing a limb, anxiously waiting for the day she will be back home, and stay for just a few days, and then fly away, then another round of long waiting begins. Losing a full-time job is nothing comparing with this, as you can always find a new job, which may be even better than the old job. But your child is flying away, the days holding her in your arm, patting her into sleep, making cup cakes together with her, hearing her calling you "mommy, mommy" with lots of giggles are gone.
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Re: Lives each day in waiting
« Reply #2 on: March 31, 2018, 08:48:10 PM »

Offline MaryB

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Re: Lives each day in waiting
« Reply #3 on: March 31, 2018, 09:47:22 PM »
I'm so sorry Cindy.   I know exactly what you are saying.  There is no turning back time for any of us.  Then when they visit  they comment they cant wait to 'go home' and we think but this is your home!  It does hurt, but believe me,  it will get better, or maybe we learn to live with it.
You know recently, my grown son, who has just came back after years of estrangement,  was in the other room, and he had a cough..   I didnt hear the grown man coughing,  I heard my little 6 year old boy coughing...  they are always in our heart.
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Offline Cindy

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Re: Lives each day in waiting
« Reply #4 on: March 31, 2018, 10:04:01 PM »
Mary, your words made my into tears. However tall she is, she is still my little baby, I am still keen to hold her, cuddle her and kiss her, and do whatever  I can to serve her. I enjoy being such a happy "slave" for her, but those days are gone. 
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Empty Nest Moms

Re: Lives each day in waiting
« Reply #4 on: March 31, 2018, 10:04:01 PM »

Offline MaryB

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Re: Lives each day in waiting
« Reply #5 on: March 31, 2018, 10:06:33 PM »
I know, Cindy and I wish to God I had words of wisdom to bring you comfort.   :(
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Offline Cindy

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Re: Lives each day in waiting
« Reply #6 on: March 31, 2018, 10:50:33 PM »
Mary,  thank you for your sweet heart. I do read the words from God, and do believe God arranges the best for us. But I am still so greedy that I want to see her and cannot overcome such greediness. Other people say to me, "she is happy and having good time, why are you sad, don't you feel happy that she is happy?"

Yes I am glad that she is happy pursuing her bright future, why am I so greedy wanting her home? I hate myself!
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Empty Nest Moms

Re: Lives each day in waiting
« Reply #6 on: March 31, 2018, 10:50:33 PM »
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