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Author Topic: Downsizing  (Read 6481 times)

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Offline nvgt16

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Re: Downsizing
« Reply #30 on: May 30, 2017, 04:21:26 PM »
Thanks..I definitely want a smaller place because I don't want to spend so much time with yard work and maintaining the inside of the house too so much. It's bittersweet because while of course I'm looking for at least one extra bedrooms, they won;t be designated as my kids..just guestroom..kid of sad for me. With all of this change, I'm kind of sad because I have less time to be with my kids and I was hoping of course that they'd live closer by so I could see them more often..the total opposite is happening and I hate it.

Empty Nest Moms

Re: Downsizing
« Reply #30 on: May 30, 2017, 04:21:26 PM »

Offline MaryB

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Re: Downsizing
« Reply #31 on: May 30, 2017, 05:31:02 PM »
I totally understand.  Someone said if we'd understand when we had our children they were just on loan, it would have helped us not get so attached.  I thought my son would be in my life forever too..  but he has not even spoke to me since he got with a certain girl, now his wife..  so when I say I understand how sad it is, I mean it!  I'd be happy now to hear from my son once in a while now.  They say for our children to be off on their own and successful that we did a good job..  Well it still is kinda sad.
Hugs to you dear friend

Offline nvgt16

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Re: Downsizing
« Reply #32 on: May 30, 2017, 05:38:46 PM »
Oh my gosh...my son hasn't spoken to my daughter, her fiance, and myself for almost 2 years and nothing happened that we did for him to stop talking to us. I feel that someone said something or has convinced him to not speak to his family. It's honestly very devastating. And with my daughter who lives in Spain...that's not much better. I save the majority of their baby things and kid toys so that when they became married and had a family, they'd be living nearby so I could give them their own childhood things and only keep a few for grandma's home! It certainly for me has turned to be the total opposite. My son is my oldest...and we are quite similar...it just hurts..I've supported him through everything, even when he drove out to Utah from RI all by himself. My ex didn't stay with him and wasn't there for him like I was. I agree, very frustrating and sad. Well, my student I tutor is running late I guess...I'm just not in the mood to tutor or do much with this house selling issue going on. And my daughter's friend who babysat my cats is finally supposed to come over with my house key and remote.

Empty Nest Moms

Re: Downsizing
« Reply #32 on: May 30, 2017, 05:38:46 PM »

Offline MaryB

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Re: Downsizing
« Reply #33 on: May 30, 2017, 06:08:15 PM »
What do you teach?  I hope it's not spelling or English.. lol   :(   I know I lack! 


My son cut out all his family too.  How sad it is for them, and us. 

You keep hanging onto the baby things. None of us know what tomorrow holds and you may get your chance to live by the grands to come, yet!
Mine seems to have hardened his heart towards me.  It's like they are brainwashed and forget that they use to love us or something.  At least that's how it is with mine.

Offline nvgt16

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Re: Downsizing
« Reply #34 on: May 30, 2017, 07:04:17 PM »
lol! I do teach English to students from other countries and the same for my home tutoring. I just LOVE working with people from other countries...I kind of grew up like that. We always had people from other countries in our home so of course that's why Lauren has become a resident of Spain!? And I don't blame her..it's so awesome there..if I didn't have my sister and my son here, I'd consider retiring over there. I agree with you about our sons..I think someone is blocking my son..tell him wrong things about us...could be my ex...Even though it's very hard but I have to have faith that my son will realize that he is wrong about not talking to us..I just have to wait my time..still very sad..wasted time right now for all of us.

Empty Nest Moms

Re: Downsizing
« Reply #34 on: May 30, 2017, 07:04:17 PM »

Offline nvgt16

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Re: Downsizing
« Reply #35 on: June 03, 2017, 11:14:15 PM »
I went to an Open House for a condo in town, just to see what living in one would be like. I looked at a 2 bedroom 1 story flat and a 2 bedroom 2 story townhouse that had a bonus room and a garage. I think it would be almost impossible to move from basically a 4 bedroom house with a 2 car garage and a full basement to move to a 2 bedroom condo. I've been trying to figure out how it could be done...it would be a major challenge. I of course do not plan to stay in my town because the taxes are quite high but still, moving from my house to a condo would be quite challenging.

Offline MaryB

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Re: Downsizing
« Reply #36 on: June 04, 2017, 01:42:12 PM »
Now I would have promised I answered you post about your son...  I must not have hit post or something!!!   I'm with you that I hold hope that my son will come around too..




I am so glad you are checking out your options!  You only know what's out there by spending time like you did.  I was hoping that would have worked for you because it seemed the 1/2 way mark in being on your own and not carrying all of the responsibility (the yard and all).  But anyway, that means it almost has to be a smaller home, right?  No matter what it is going to be hard to downsize, BUT, after you do it you will feel so much better.  A trick I was told is put everything in a box  that you dont use, then put it in the garage or basement or something.  If you find you dont need that stuff,  ship it out.  It has worked for me because now I dont remember all that I got rid of. 

Offline nvgt16

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Re: Downsizing
« Reply #37 on: June 04, 2017, 04:19:19 PM »
I think it is going to have to be a smaller home...there's no way I could or would get rid of what I would need to in order to fit into a condo..and I also think that i will pay less than $200 a month for taking care of my future small yard and driveway in the winter. It's not like the condo had lots of landscaping for one condo to take care of to equal $200/month. I really am over doing yard work but it will be much better with a much smaller yard! I definitely need more space than 1 extra room and a garage for my stuff. Someone stopped at the bottom of my driveway (hill), got out and was looking at my yard and house this morning...kind of weird though because they seemed to be only looking at one side of my yard. Who knows...I just want this whole process to be over. At least school will be over in 12 more weekdays!!! I also don't think I'm going to do any more packing until something serious comes along. My daughter is due home on the 22nd which will be awesome! Her 2 rooms will need to be packed up abit...but I'm not worrying about that. The weird thing about seeing the condo was just realizing that I'm going to be starting my new life in a new house...that's kind of the hard part...30 years living in the same house is so different than moving into a new house. Once my daughter is here, I'm hoping that she can go through a big pile of things and what she doesn't want, hopefully my sister will take. I have generations of fancy dishes that I haven't ever used and can't because I had so many given to me like when my grandmas passed away. It's the same with fine dinnerware..I have 2 full sets..mine and my mom's...I'm not planning on having many big parties where I need 12 plates and all. I think that I've been pretty good at letting go of things..at least for now! I just wish I could get an offer on this house so I could seriously starting looking at new homes for me.

Offline MaryB

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Re: Downsizing
« Reply #38 on: June 04, 2017, 07:33:59 PM »
That's rough to move when you are so grounded there all those years.  I would not get rid of my sentimental things either!
Those people at the bottom of the driveway have to be a good sign!  Be prepared because they will probably come to see the inside next!
They say moving is as stressful as divorce..  did I say that already?  Anyway it is true.  You need regular trips to unwind, at the beach! 

Offline nvgt16

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Re: Downsizing
« Reply #39 on: June 04, 2017, 07:44:40 PM »
I was thinking the same thing about those people..so I better clean up a bit tonite. And the idea of needing breaks for moving..definitely...and I'm very grateful that RI has so many beaches for the size of our state..that will be where I will need to retreat to..other than perhaps having some sangria with my daughter! I was actually just trying to picture what my last night in this house will be like as well as my first night in my new house..and what my kitties will have to go through too! And seeing that I've been through a divorce and pretty much all other major problems, I should survive! I just really home that this all gets done and I'm in my new home before the end of July. My daughter's bridal events are the last weekend of July. I also can't picture 2 large moving trucks coming to my house on a hill!? Thank goodness for the cul de sac that I live on! I just watched a great episode of, "My Cat from Hell" yesterday and it was about a woman moving to Canada from the US with her cats! So the info was very helpful. I have to say that talking with you has been a major help, so thank you! I should probably clean up my basement a little more..it's been a mess with me just stuffing boxes lately!

Offline nvgt16

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Re: Downsizing
« Reply #40 on: June 04, 2017, 07:48:03 PM »
https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/21-Richard-Rd-Richmond-RI-02812/65946128_zpid/




Here is my house listing, not sure if I showed you it.



Offline MaryB

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Re: Downsizing
« Reply #41 on: June 04, 2017, 07:57:12 PM »
Oh my gosh,  I love your home!!!!   You will need a little Cape Cod home!  Your home is so lovely, so beautiful.  It's 1500 sq ft, approximately..   so the new place would have to be at least 1200 I figure.   Dont you think?   That gives you an idea anyway.  Now tell me why you are moving? lol 

Offline nvgt16

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Re: Downsizing
« Reply #42 on: June 04, 2017, 08:05:01 PM »
Thanks..for the most part, I love the home still..just so much yard work for me and I'm so not into doing so much of it myself...honestly, I never have either! I'd prefer a one story with basement or a split level ranch so when I'm much older, I won't have a full set of stairs to go up and down. I'm downsizing because I don't need a 4 bedroom house and I want a smaller yard and a shorter and flat driveway..no more house on a hill for me. But I really love the front porch, mudroom, and 2 car garage that I added on back in 2006. I also have a big HELOC on it so my other goal is to get that paid off. And also, I don't want to live surrounded by so much woods anymore..I only have one neighbor...the cul de sac is nice too.. My new home has to be smaller, with a garage and a basement..I'd love either a front porch or a back porch..why not both!?lol But mostly, it has to have something special about it..something that says, it's my new house!

Offline MaryB

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Re: Downsizing
« Reply #43 on: June 04, 2017, 08:10:44 PM »
I sure understand, just lost my head when I seen how pretty your home is...lol   But yes you need to downsize.  That is a lot of upkeep.  I do feel for you because no matter what, that is a hard thing to leave.  You will be so happy when you get past all this hard part though.. (I know I ended a sentence with a prep... haha) 

Offline nvgt16

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Re: Downsizing
« Reply #44 on: June 04, 2017, 08:42:10 PM »
Thanks, I hope it will be easier..Underneath the wallpaper in my son's old room was some stenciling I did for him of a train. I hope that the future owners will at least think it was pretty nice when they pull off the wallpaper and see it! I'm going to miss that but I miss my son much more. I just went through my house doing a quick cleanup just in case I get a surprise call from my realtor while I'm at work..it happened the other time! He'd have to wait until I got home anyway because he doesn't have a key to my house and I'd want to take my cats out of the house before anyone comes in. How long did it take you to adjust to your new home?


Empty Nest Moms

Re: Downsizing
« Reply #44 on: June 04, 2017, 08:42:10 PM »

 

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