Keeping the spark alive

[Tamlyn]

For those of you who have been married for a long time, you know how hard it can be to keep things 'fresh' between you and your partner. Are there any tips that you can give me to help me try to keep the spark alive and the romance going well into our old age?

[Lyndish]

I think I mentioned in another thread that we were doing 'date' nights, setting aside one night a week to do something together. You could also try picking up a hobby that you both like doing, or somethign new to learn. A romantic getaway for a weekend is a nice way to keep things fresh. 

[Tamlyn]

Thanks for the ideas and suggestions, Lyndish. Date nights sound fun, but I'm not sure that we could afford it every week. Maybe once a month or so might work considering our finances.

[MomOf2Rugrats]

I know I haven't been married nearly as long as some. We celebrated 21 years this year & have been together for 23. We are already having trouble with keeping the spark alive. He wants more in the bedroom but leaves it up to me to always initiate. And I would like to be pursued once in awhile if that makes sense? Sorry Im no help with advice 😔 we are struggling in this area as well.

[GrownChildMother]

My hubby and I both have health issues that often determine what we feel like doing or if we even go out much. But lord, I can just look at that man and feel the sparks! He's soooo perty! LOL

[Kidless]

OMGosh Momof 2Rugrats.  I'm right there with you.  "More" but you start it.  If he would just sweep me up one day and kiss me passionately, it would make all the difference.  Health issues also play a part in our activities but......snuggling would be nice. 

[Janeb]

I'm thinking the bottom line here is are 'both' of you happy? Some after a long time of marriage may lose some of the 'intimacy' but still be close and happy with each other. But if one is wanting more then the other seems to want to offer, then I guess it's time to do some serious talking and maybe come up with a compromise that you can both live with?  If that doesn't work and marriage counseling isn't an option, then it's time to do some serious 'thinking' about how you want things to be and if you can live with how they are now? Is it worth staying or leaving? Big question!

[Bev1960]

Well it is sometimes 'work' to keep that spark going! As Janeb mentioned it just depends on if each of you are happy with how things are going and if not figuring how to keep each other happy. It could definitely be a compromise for each. Just try to find what works and if nothing seems to, well......not sure then!

[MaryB]

Yup, what's that saying,  it takes two!!!   

[Kirsten]

I love how I benefited so much from this thread even though I didn't start it. The advice that you all gave Tamlyn was so relevant and helpful to me, too.

[cherie]

We all agree that it takes a collective effort of both parties to keep the fire burning. Though I haven't been married for long, I know that even when intimacy is long gone, being good friends and doing stuff together will definitely hold a marriage together.

[Natasha]

If the love is real, the spark is always there. Maybe sometimes it may feel like things are getting dull, and if that's the case then it may be from too much separation, and not enough time together. In some situations just sitting on the couch, cuddled up and watching a movie can help.

[MaryB]

Hi Natasha!!!       Welcome to the family!


You are spot on...  if it's real love, then it's always love!