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Author Topic: Managing a long distance marriage?  (Read 1745 times)

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Offline Micky

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Managing a long distance marriage?
« on: March 27, 2017, 05:05:08 AM »
My husband works away for weeks at a time. When the children were here the house always seems lively and we had the children to talk about, but now it seems like we're drifting apart. When I only see him for a few days a month, how can I keep our marriage together? He's due to retire in a few years and I am scared we won't have anything in common by then.

Offline MaryB

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Re: Managing a long distance marriage?
« Reply #1 on: March 27, 2017, 05:20:44 AM »
Micky, this sounds like my life!  Is your husband a truck driver?  Wow girl you have to fill your days with life.  There are clubs to join to meet people or the senior center, or the church, but you cant stay alone that much. What do you do to fill your days now?
Dont think about years down the road, start small and fill this week up first.  Wish I was close and could help.  We'd find something to get into..  maybe cookie makine!!!!!!     :jiggly smiley:

Empty Nest Moms

Re: Managing a long distance marriage?
« Reply #1 on: March 27, 2017, 05:20:44 AM »

Offline SpotOn

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Re: Managing a long distance marriage?
« Reply #2 on: March 27, 2017, 12:55:56 PM »
My husband works away for weeks at a time. When the children were here the house always seems lively and we had the children to talk about, but now it seems like we're drifting apart. When I only see him for a few days a month, how can I keep our marriage together? He's due to retire in a few years and I am scared we won't have anything in common by then.


Depending on the nature of your husband's work, can you go along with him every now and then? If not, then MaryB has some sound advice. Either way, try to find some balance in your alone time to keep yourself sane and busy. How much is a few years before he retires, three, or ten? If ten, really get going with this before you start looking elsewhere for companionship. It may sound cruel, but you are human, right? Things happen. 

Offline GrownChildMother

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Re: Managing a long distance marriage?
« Reply #3 on: April 02, 2017, 01:16:33 AM »
I know it is tough when one spouse works away like that. My father was a trucker for years and I can remember my mom and I sitting and crying because we missed him so much. If you feel you are drifting apart, now is the time to do something about it. Talk to him and tell him you want to plan some special time together when he is home. Even if you can only have one special date night a month, that will give you both something to look forward to.

Empty Nest Moms

Re: Managing a long distance marriage?
« Reply #3 on: April 02, 2017, 01:16:33 AM »

Offline Micky

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Re: Managing a long distance marriage?
« Reply #4 on: April 03, 2017, 06:08:46 AM »
I know it is tough when one spouse works away like that. My father was a trucker for years and I can remember my mom and I sitting and crying because we missed him so much. If you feel you are drifting apart, now is the time to do something about it. Talk to him and tell him you want to plan some special time together when he is home. Even if you can only have one special date night a month, that will give you both something to look forward to.
Thanks. The thing is when he gets home all he wants to do is sleep and put his feet up for a few days before he goes back out again. Trying to get him to agree to go out or do anything is a real battle. I used to just take the children out, but they're off on their own now.

Offline Tamin

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Re: Managing a long distance marriage?
« Reply #5 on: April 03, 2017, 06:22:19 AM »

I know it is tough when one spouse works away like that. My father was a trucker for years and I can remember my mom and I sitting and crying because we missed him so much. If you feel you are drifting apart, now is the time to do something about it. Talk to him and tell him you want to plan some special time together when he is home. Even if you can only have one special date night a month, that will give you both something to look forward to.
Thanks. The thing is when he gets home all he wants to do is sleep and put his feet up for a few days before he goes back out again. Trying to get him to agree to go out or do anything is a real battle. I used to just take the children out, but they're off on their own now.


Then you must fill up your days.  This has to be a two way street.  He has to want this to work as well.  Maybe he doesn't realize how you feel.  The first thing to do is have a long talk with him and see where he stands.  After that, just take it from there.  At least you'll know what you need to do.   

Offline GrownChildMother

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Re: Managing a long distance marriage?
« Reply #6 on: April 05, 2017, 11:03:39 PM »

 Thanks. The thing is when he gets home all he wants to do is sleep and put his feet up for a few days before he goes back out again. Trying to get him to agree to go out or do anything is a real battle. I used to just take the children out, but they're off on their own now.


I'm sorry, Micky. I certainly cannot blame him for wanting to rest after working all week. Maybe you could plan a special evening at home with your hubby? Give him a day to rest all he wants and then plan an evening where you can pamper each other.


Empty Nest Moms

Re: Managing a long distance marriage?
« Reply #6 on: April 05, 2017, 11:03:39 PM »

 

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