Lost without my kids

[PattyD]

I'm new here, but I've been following for a bit.


Both of my children have not only left the house, but they're both in other states. I always knew they would move out, it's the cycle of life, but I never imagined they'd move so far so quickly. I have a lot of life ahead of me, but I've been so used to providing love and care day in and day out that I'm not sure what to do with myself anymore. My husband tries to help, but since he's still working, he doesn't really understand what I'm going through. I'm glad I found this group.

[MaryB]

  Welcome to the family! 
That makes it extra rough for them to be so far away, like it isnt hard enough!  Can you talk to them on the skype or that other one? You know what I mean?  Oh my heart goes out to you.  I hope you talk to them often at least. 
Yes, for your husband to still be working, his mind is occupied..  where as your's is all on your situation...   I'm glad you joined on this forum..  you're with a bunch that know what you are going thru...  You'll get thru this, too,  but I know you are hurting now.. 

[JustUs2]

PattyD, it sounds to me like you need to get busy!  Try learning a new skill, take a class, go somewhere new, volunteer somewhere, try your hand at anything that you wanted to do before, but couldn't because you had kids that demanded your time, money, and attention.  All mothers sacrifice themselves in the name of parenthood, and it's worthwhile for most of us.  But, it's time to live for yourself again.

[PattyD]

Thank you both for your kind words. My kids try to call or FaceTime at least once a week with some texting in between. It's not the same, but it reduces the worry and lets me enjoy the few things I have started to do.


An old friend recently moved back into town and she's been forcing helping me to get out of the house. Mostly simple girl stuff like a little shopping or lunch, but it's been very nice.

[MaryB]

It's good you are getting out but I know your heart is always aware of the children... it is a big adjustment...   

[CatMom]

Patty, I totally get where you're coming from. When my youngest left for college she was positive she wanted to be out of the state. It's a tough transition. It's good yours keep in touch regularly and that you're starting to do things. Keep it up; it only gets better.


 

[Cindy]

Patty, I'm reading your message posted on August 05, 2017. I'm now experiencing exactly same thing as you did at the time.  Quite a few months have passed, how do you feel now? Any change? Feeling better? How did you cope?


I've only started this journey of being an empty nest mom, and don't know how long it will be? 10 years? 15 years? Forever?

[MaryB]

Cindy,  I think us moms always silently wish for the days our children were home with us.  This is a new chapter and change hurts, but there are good things that come with it, like later the grands (hopefully).  My heart goes out to you.  If I'm right about you, you are a care giver, so find someone that needs your attention and help them right now. 
Sending you love, Cindy..