Reconnecting as a couple?

[Lyndish]

Although now technically we have much more time to ourselves, making time for just us as a couple seems to be something that is actually harder. It might be because without the kids around we don't have to plan everything ahead, and make sure they were out of the house! We've resorted to planning a date night each week, to try and rekindle the romance and get used to it being just us. Otherwise we tended to be just moving round each other in the house, following the old routines.

How did you get back to being just a couple after being a family, and working round the family for so long?

[MaryB]

Wow, great question!   


Mine happened so fast it was like a shock.  I didnt see it coming that mine would be out of the house forever so it was really hard.  I hope if you see it coming you have time to warm up to the thought?  The way you are sticking your toes in to check the water first, is excellent!  I think that is exactly what you need to do because you are really rediscovering each other all over again.  I read somewhere if you do the same things you did in the beginning, that your partner fell in love with, you will fall in love all over again.  I dont know but guess it's worth a shot! 
Movie nite sounds wonderful.  Soon you both will be excited talking about what's coming out and what you're going to go see, where you will eat, etc.  Good luck to us all!  haha   

[XandO]

The first step that you're taking to reconnect is a good way to start. Planning activities together rather than separately for awhile can strengthen the idea of "couple" until you're comfortable with both of your "new found freedoms". Then, being secure in the relationship once again without the kids, you can be comfortable doing things alone, knowing that you have each other to fall back on, just in case. This needs to be done, the kids have their own lives to contend with now.

[MaryB]

X,  I said it before but will repeat it again, you are a gem..  you could give lessons to my hubby...  It takes two to want to connect.  How do you talk them into it if they dont want to try?   

[XandO]

MaryB, I don't know how to answer your question. If I had the ability to read your husband's mind, maybe then I could give you a few pointers on how to connect with him, or, ask him what is necessary for him to connect with you. Just by the fact that I am male, I surmise that possibly he may think that everything between you two is quite okay. Also, sometimes, like me, men need a nudge, ah, more like a sledgehammer to the head, for a new way of relating to things that change in a relationship that can make it more workable. I wish you both the best in regenerating some possibly forgotten avenues to a more satisfying arrangement. Keep us here posted with any updates.

[MaryB]

Thank you X.  I loved the sledgehammer idea..  perhaps.....   


oh well,  after all these years I dont things will change much.    We just need to clone you!