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Author Topic: Seniors and Dating. So nervous about this  (Read 2331 times)

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Offline Maria

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Seniors and Dating. So nervous about this
« on: September 23, 2016, 04:58:14 PM »
Hello Friends.
Out of the marriage and ready to dip my toes into the dating pond God knows the marriage took long
enough to get over. 36 years, almost.

So my question is not about the empty nest today, it's about how do you move on.
How did you meet a new companion, is it true about having to kiss a lot of toads to meet
that Princesign0137?

Did anyone join a dating website, any experience there?  It would really help
to know someone else's experiences, as I prepare for this new journey. I'm not there yet, but
am interested. dunno

Ideas? Am I being silly being so nervous about this.
Love to you all!!!
 Maria

Empty Nest Moms

Seniors and Dating. So nervous about this
« on: September 23, 2016, 04:58:14 PM »

Offline Kidless

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Re: Seniors and Dating. So nervous about this
« Reply #1 on: September 24, 2016, 02:09:15 PM »
Gosh no!! You are not being silly.  I wouldn't know where to begin on this.  I've been married to my second husband now for 34 years and have always said if something happens to this one there would never be another.  We are currently members of our local senior center where there are quite a few single men and women.  Some of the current couples even met there.  I'll keep fingers crossed for you. 

Offline nvgt16

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Re: Seniors and Dating. So nervous about this
« Reply #2 on: October 12, 2016, 08:03:58 PM »
Hi, I've been doing a few dating sites and I'll say that it has been interesting..a few years ago I actually was matched up with my ex...like that's not a match I'd ever want again. For me, I've found that eHarmony matches me up with guys who live too far away..another state or guys that I wouldn't ever consider..no interest in them at all. Currently I'm "back" on POF and again not many guys there that I'd be interested in. Although a guy just recently started messaging me and he seems like a nice guy but he lives too far away. I still would prefer to meet someone in person instead of online. I've been divorced for 11 years but early on I needed to focus on my needs especially with both of my children grown up and on their own..one out west and one lives in Spain and is now engaged!? My goal is to stay positive as I go through these dating websites and go for a guy that I want to be with...not settle. In the  meantime and with my kids moved on and out, I focus on what I want to do with the rest of my life...I have a great job as a public school teacher even though it's only part time...in a month or 2 I'm hoping to be refinancing my mortgage..and I keep my eyes open to interesting Meet Up group activities. Good luck..best thing to do is just to get out there and do something where you can have fun and meet new people!

Empty Nest Moms

Re: Seniors and Dating. So nervous about this
« Reply #2 on: October 12, 2016, 08:03:58 PM »

Offline Moonlight

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Re: Seniors and Dating. So nervous about this
« Reply #3 on: November 14, 2016, 07:10:40 AM »
I know a friend who used dating websites to meet his current girlfriend. One thing that I noticed was how he had to expand his social networks. Much like what Kidless said, I'd suggest participating in local groups or activities within your interest. Hopefully, you will be able to meet someone new there.

Offline nvgt16

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Re: Seniors and Dating. So nervous about this
« Reply #4 on: November 14, 2016, 07:47:47 AM »
I hope you have found some fun things to do to meet other people! I keep looking for new group activities that I want to do. I think I might have just found a nice guy to actually go out on a date with!? Totally unexpected, kind of, "out of the blue".

Empty Nest Moms

Re: Seniors and Dating. So nervous about this
« Reply #4 on: November 14, 2016, 07:47:47 AM »

Offline Maria

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Re: Seniors and Dating. So nervous about this
« Reply #5 on: November 14, 2016, 12:29:49 PM »
Kind of out of the blue. That would be nice. I've met three guys on EH, but not interested in any of them. I think it's just too soon for me.
I'm enjoying hanging out with the kids and grandkids for now, but time will tell. I feel like maybe I got in a rush. How does out of the blue happen? LOL!

Offline nvgt16

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Re: Seniors and Dating. So nervous about this
« Reply #6 on: November 14, 2016, 12:48:29 PM »
That's exactly how I feel!? I've tried so many online dating sites and have been very particular about who I'd even consider going out with..this guy seems different..normal..the right guy! I sent him a text message this morning before my classes and I just heard back from him and he said how he was looking forward to hearing from me today :jiggly smiley: I think it's just a long process, you just shouldn't settle just for any guy though!

Offline Maria

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Re: Seniors and Dating. So nervous about this
« Reply #7 on: November 14, 2016, 05:17:14 PM »
I AGREE ABOUT THE SETTLING PART. One of these guys was fun at first, but like in everything else, you give 'em enough rope and they
will hang themselves. He started mentioning women he works with, hot nurses who work in nursing home, he has to visit,
how he used to hang out in bars when he was younger and he [size=78%]and his friends would have PIG night and they would take the ugliest girl home. Always talked about himself but then asked very little about me. [/size]
Nah....His loss. We'll see+ if anyone  interesting comes along. They even hooked me up with a girl on eH.  Definitely not my preference, not to
be insulting to anyone, but you are or you aren't and I am not.
Hope it works out for you! Keep me posted....give me hope! ;)

It's always exciting at first, I think!


Offline nvgt16

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Re: Seniors and Dating. So nervous about this
« Reply #8 on: November 14, 2016, 05:31:27 PM »
You deserve better men! And I thought when EHarmony matched me up with my ex husband was so totally wrong...that's a new one! Now, I haven't met this guy in person yet but I'm feeling good about this guy...his messages focus on me..now that's different! I'm just going to go slowly with this all...and take it all in because I didn't get this when I was married!?


Offline Maria

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Re: Seniors and Dating. So nervous about this
« Reply #9 on: November 14, 2016, 07:41:46 PM »
Absolutely, we both deserve better men! I hope women who are married to good guys
appreciate them. Cause there are some pretty bad blokes out there. I'm to blame for
allowing it. I accept my fault in it.

Offline nvgt16

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Re: Seniors and Dating. So nervous about this
« Reply #10 on: November 14, 2016, 08:17:57 PM »
We do and we will! I also think that the men need to appreciate their wives a lot more! I'd say I was missing that in my marriage. I want a more thoughtful man and less self-centered. I think I might have found him....I knew after all I've been through that getting a better teaching job would have to come first then earning more money, which I'm doing..then the guy would come. It's also really nice for me because my kids live thousands of miles away from me and I don't have them for holidays anymore :(  I have a friend in Florida who is sending me tips on what to do seeing that I've not done very well with dating since my divorce!? I've been messaging this guy most of this evening and he just seems to be able to simply make me smile :13:

Offline Maria

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Re: Seniors and Dating. So nervous about this
« Reply #11 on: November 14, 2016, 10:42:00 PM »
I am excited for you. I have to share my children with the in-laws this year...It's only fair  *sobbing*
I've spent the last couple of Christmases alone, along with other holidays. Both of my kids are in
co-custody situations, so the girls get together and decide when they are both going to have the children
and then decide when the holiday will be. I was matched with a guy from EH who said that he was seriously looking
for his Christmas love. Maybe he will get lucky. Just not with me. HAHA. Well, I hope this turns out fun for ya! Sounds
like you have a good start.

Offline nvgt16

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Re: Seniors and Dating. So nervous about this
« Reply #12 on: November 22, 2016, 08:48:35 PM »
Hi, Update - I researched that guy and I found out that he has a court record! Seriously, he's all gone. Better now than later though.

Offline Maria

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Re: Seniors and Dating. So nervous about this
« Reply #13 on: November 22, 2016, 09:00:50 PM »
I hate this for you. I was talking to a guy...Yuck.  He was constantly trying to get me
to tell him if I was skinny or fat, (I'm neither) he is divorced (three times), yet a deacon in a church.
Just too much like my ex. My EX put a helluva rock on his fiancee's finger, brought her to a family
gathering, didn't tell anyone she was fiancee or that they are getting married, just let the ring
do the talking. Christmas is a mess, family wise, to say the least. 

Offline nvgt16

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Re: Seniors and Dating. So nervous about this
« Reply #14 on: November 22, 2016, 09:38:58 PM »
I'm actually ok with it even though it's basically the holidays...this guy had a criminal record..a year of community service...domestic abuse. I'm not going to settle and it's not like he'd bring it up in a conversation. These guys are ridiculous, not worth a second of our time. Holidays are not the greatest for me anymore with both my kids living so far away. I have a sister that I do holidays with but it's not at all the same as when my kids were home. I dislike Xmas morning now, waking up by myself...open up a few gifts..Xmas is over in about 10 minutes. I used to get a real tree with my kids since my divorce but now that they are gone, not sure if I want to even though I can now afford to get a tree..I'll look kind of stupid having a tree to myself...especially Xmas morning with just 2 or 3 gifts under it...but I miss going out to cut down a tree. So don't know what to do or how to feel.

 

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