As most of you know, I am finally divorced. 30 out of 36 years in the making. Today would have been our 36
anniversary. Divorce usually causes messes, especially if there was someone else involved. During this time,
I found this website and turned to you all and you were the most huge blessing to me. (You and my counselor)
Divorce has been final 2 months and the walls came crashing down today. Every time the walls have crashed,
I have, with God's help, put old Humpty Dumpty back together again. But this isn't something I can fix. It's my son.
The ex called me today and said what's wrong with ****?
I said: I don't think anything, why?
He said that son had called him
Son actually called, ex wouldn't answer then didn't call son back when he hung up, so son text him
He said son was upset, but he didn't know why.
I said "Is he working?" (We all own a company together.) He said yes.
I said "Well, what do you mean he is upset but you don't know why. Is there a truck broken down? Surely you know what was going on, did you leave him out there with a broken down truck or something?"
No, I didn't and I don't know why he is so mad.
I called the boy and asked him if he was ok. That his dad said he called from work and was there anyway I could help.
(I was still in mindset, it was a job situation) My son is 33. He unleashed a life of pain because of an absent father that
he finally felt a part of his life about 3 years ago, but who is now with this woman and won't give him the time of day again.
He told me of how all his life, we always told him that daddy was working hard to build them a future (his dad was gone all
the time and we assumed he was working because that is what he told me and them) Anyway, he sent his dad a text telling
him how he felt, how hurt he was that his dad had once again disappeared out of his life, and he got ........crickets......nothing.
All I could tell him was "Son, as in all of the crises we have in our lives, this too, shall pass. I told him that he must have gotten
something from his daddy because he is such a good dad himself, so it all wasn't lost. And that the best thing he could do now is be
the dad that he felt that he missed out on. I also told him that in the case of divorce that it takes a good year for all of the dust to settle
and for the pieces of the puzzle to get put back together again, for the family to feel like two units again, like it once was as one.
Just wondering if I said enough, should have said nothing. MY heart is broken because I had hoped that a lot wasn't noticed....that it was
just how families grew. I hate to see him hurt, but just have to stand by and watch, Of late ex has lied, lied, lied lied to my son about
all sorts of things, nothing he has told the boy has come to pass. He was going to present all this proof to my son about this con woman who he
is with to prove she is who she says she is so son can feel his family is safe about her. I don't know.
It's confusing, I was finally starting
to feel free and now just have this incredible sadness for my son who has spent his entire life, trying to get his father's attention.
We all hurt when our children hurt. This really hurts.
