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Author Topic: Divorce started back in 2005.5 IT WAS FINAL 07/0!/2016  (Read 989 times)

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Offline Maria

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Divorce started back in 2005.5 IT WAS FINAL 07/0!/2016
« on: August 03, 2016, 01:06:47 AM »
I was an absolute mess back then, it's taken me all of these years to realize what a bad marriage
it really was. I mean, I knew it was bad. but this fear of being alone,  I fought it everyday. I have
lived for 4 years alone, now, and who knew that I would be able to sleep alone in my home
out in the middle of no where.


I have had three heart attacks in 15 months, experienced open heart surgery, and came home to
an empty (just me) house. But I fought through all of the depression that goes along with a heart
attack and have finally made it through to the other side, of that. My Doctors feels that my heart attacks
were stressed induced, so ladies and gents, be good to yourselves and stop to smell the roses.


I have 4 bonus grandchildren, three by my son and 1 by my daughter and they each have one of their own.
My wee ones give me something truly nice to look for. I believe that I have the nicest grandchildren that can
be found on God's green earth. Oh shoot, I bet we all say that don't we?


 I could not be happier. Do I wish I had a companion? Yes if it was one who could cherish me as much as I
would him. But I'm a little on the negative side about that. I have my children and grandchildren, I'm retired after 26 years
of driving a school bus and life feels good on the other side, of all that, too!  I still have my bookkeeping job with our family business.
So I have a little extra income for as long as that lasts. Didn't think I would ever be truly independent of this man, but I got there.

I GOT THERE!!!!! :jiggly smiley: :banana: :039:
May God bless you all with a rich Wednesday and rest of the week.



Empty Nest Moms

Divorce started back in 2005.5 IT WAS FINAL 07/0!/2016
« on: August 03, 2016, 01:06:47 AM »

Offline Jeanine

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Re: Divorce started back in 2005.5 IT WAS FINAL 07/0!/2016
« Reply #1 on: August 03, 2016, 05:40:57 PM »
Hi Maria.....thanks for that update and you sound so happy and upbeat now. I remember you mentioning your divorce when you first joined here so I'm glad you are through it all now and moving forward.  :cutecheerleader:  You have also been through a lot  health wise too so hope that has greatly improved? Sounds like it. Keep enjoying those grandchildren and your new life being on your own.


 :hugs:

Offline Kidless

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Re: Divorce started back in 2005.5 IT WAS FINAL 07/0!/2016
« Reply #2 on: August 04, 2016, 07:15:51 AM »
My hat is off to you Maria.  To have come what you have come through is amazing and I'm sure you are a stronger person.  Please enjoy those grandchildren.  They are only small for a little while and enjoy your new life and the new you.  God Bless you and please keep in touch, 

Empty Nest Moms

Re: Divorce started back in 2005.5 IT WAS FINAL 07/0!/2016
« Reply #2 on: August 04, 2016, 07:15:51 AM »

Offline cherie

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Re: Divorce started back in 2005.5 IT WAS FINAL 07/0!/2016
« Reply #3 on: August 04, 2016, 04:31:04 PM »
Thank God you were able to get past that phase, especially since it seems to have been a marriage that you gave in so much for. It is encouraging that you can now look back and even wonder why it took so long but above all, we are happy for all the grandchildren.

Offline Jordan34

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Re: Divorce started back in 2005.5 IT WAS FINAL 07/0!/2016
« Reply #4 on: August 07, 2016, 01:53:23 PM »
You sound so happy and I'm so glad! There is a light at the end of the tunnel. You fought through it and are much happier now. I bet someday you will find a companion that is worthy of your love. Until then, enjoy those grandkids!

Empty Nest Moms

Re: Divorce started back in 2005.5 IT WAS FINAL 07/0!/2016
« Reply #4 on: August 07, 2016, 01:53:23 PM »

Offline Maria

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Re: Divorce started back in 2005.5 IT WAS FINAL 08/09/2016
« Reply #5 on: October 11, 2016, 03:49:30 PM »
As most of you know, I am finally divorced. 30 out of 36 years in the making. Today would have been our 36
anniversary. Divorce usually causes messes, especially if there was someone else involved.  During this time,
I found this website and turned to you all and you were the most huge blessing to me. (You and my counselor)


Divorce has been final 2 months and the walls came crashing down today. Every time the walls have crashed,
I have, with God's help, put old Humpty Dumpty back together again. But this isn't something I can fix. It's my son.


The ex called me today and said what's wrong with ****?
I said: I don't think anything, why?
He said that son had called him
Son actually called, ex wouldn't answer then didn't call son back when he hung up, so son text him
He said son was upset, but he didn't know why.
I said "Is he working?" (We all own a company together.) He said yes.
I said "Well, what do you mean he is upset but you don't know why. Is there a truck broken down? Surely you know what was going on, did you leave him out there with a broken down truck or something?"
No, I didn't and I don't know why he is so mad.


I called the boy and asked him if he was ok. That his dad said he called from work and was there anyway I could help.
(I was still in mindset, it was a job situation) My son is 33. He unleashed a life of pain because of an absent father that
he finally felt a part of his life about 3 years ago, but who is now with this woman and won't give him the time of day again.
He told me of how all his life, we always told him that daddy was working hard to build them a future (his dad was gone all
the time and we assumed he was working because that is what he told me and them)  Anyway, he sent his dad a text telling
him how he felt, how hurt he was that his dad had once again disappeared out of his life, and he got ........crickets......nothing.


All I could tell him was "Son, as in all of the crises we have in our lives, this too, shall pass. I told him that he must have gotten
something from his daddy because he is such a good dad himself, so it all wasn't lost. And that the best thing he could do now is be
the dad that he felt that he missed out on. I also told him that in the case of divorce that it takes a good year for all of the dust to settle
and for the pieces of the puzzle to get put back together again, for the family to feel like two units again, like it once was as one.


Just wondering if I said enough, should have said nothing. MY heart is broken because I had hoped that a lot wasn't noticed....that it was
just how families grew. I hate to see him hurt, but just have to stand by and watch, Of late ex has lied, lied, lied lied to my son about
all sorts of things, nothing he has told the boy has come to pass. He was going to present all this proof to my son about this con woman who he
is with to prove she is who she says she is so son can feel his family is safe about her. I don't know.  :dunno: It's confusing, I was finally starting
to feel free and now just have this incredible sadness for my son who has spent his entire life, trying to get his father's attention.


We all hurt when our children hurt. This really hurts.

Offline Moonlight

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Re: Divorce started back in 2005.5 IT WAS FINAL 07/0!/2016
« Reply #6 on: November 21, 2016, 08:37:00 AM »
I'm sorry to hear about your son's situation. It's going to hurt, regardless of the marital status. Nobody is perfect, and sometimes we learn the lesson in a hard way. What you can do now is to be a good company, so he won't feel too lonely.

Best wishes to you and all your family members, Maria.

 

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