I posted quite some time back about having an empty next for 8 years before it really kicked in! I'm back with an update.
My son got married last weekend! While he didn't participate in the planning or really care about the ceremony, on the big day he was very emotional and seemed to really be into the moment and the whole idea of marriage - which was really nice. He escorted me to my seat and I was very touched. I was surprised that I didn't cry, but then my emotions have become very stable and solid in my older years. I rarely cry at much anymore, although tears are streaming down my face as I type this for some unknown reason! LOL
I still don't hear from him very much, but I know he is happy and he and his new wife are enjoying their time together. Hopefully, I'll get a grandchild soon, although I've been told not to hold my breath! I have a sneaky feeling, I'll hear from them a lot more if a bouncing baby arrives on the scene! I read on another thread the mother said she took it as a sign she did a good job in raising a self-sufficient and happy son. I'll take it that way too!
My daughter and I are touch and go. Sometimes I feel like we are best friends and I see her and talk to her quite a bit and then she goes through a down time and seemingly just withdraws completely into herself and when I try to reach out, my hand gets slapped away and it just hurts so much. I think the hurt comes in a couple of directions - just feeling like I can't help her and feeling like she doesn't want me to contact her. I feel so helpless - to know something isn't quite right in her world, yet she is accepting no outside input from anyone.
Again, it is so nice to have this forum to come to and put my feelings somewhere. I feel much better and have come to the conclusion that I need to just back off and let her initiate contact. She lives alone and works nights, so I worry about her coming and going at odd hours and someone noticing if she is not where she should be. I wished she would understand that my interest is not to keep tabs on her or really even to be in constant contact, but just to make sure she is ok.
Things really have gotten so much better with my son, he actually answered my last phone call and talked to me as long as I was interested in talking. It was nice! I still don't hear from him as much as I would like, but my mother insists that I call her daily or at least every other day, and I certainly don't want to make that demand on him as I know all too well how it feels.
I'm just happy the lines of communication are at least open and flowing! Just know that it does get better with each passing day, and they will make their way back to you at some point. I think you just have to believe that and think positive.
